“Hamesha ‘haan’ mein ‘haan’ milana theek nahi hai…

Swamiji says …

“How we love to hear people around us agree with what we say and do! It appears that our ears our trained to hear the word ‘Yes’ in particular. ‘Words’ that agree with, accept and approve of what we say and do. We experience bliss when others laud our intelligence in hushed voices; praise us for our ingenuity; heap words of appreciation on our brilliant brainchild product; agree with our views and approve of our proposals and perceptions – even though they could silently be doubting or questioning a few things being said or done by us. They dare not dispute us in any way – more out of fear – than respect or love.”

“Our listening agents – our ears – have a field day on hearing these gushing voices and ‘yeses’; bask in the glory of our recognition – hugging with delight every compliment that is audible to them – straining to ensure that every praiseworthy word is absorbed by them and it is only after that do they settle down complacently, smirking mockingly at the other sense organs, as though teasing them – ‘Oh! How wonderful to hear what I just heard! You missed on all the fun !“

“How pleasing the words – ‘Yes, yes!’ ‘What you are saying is absolutely right!’ ‘I agree with you!’ ‘Yes that’s the right way!’ ‘That is perfect!’ – sound to our ears and to us and we conveniently forget for a moment that mostly – ‘Insaan sabki haan mein haan milata rehta hai!’ We must learn to say, ‘No. I don’t agree with what you are saying or doing !’ Imagine the state of your ears now ! They would cringe in shock on hearing words that are disliked the most by them… No!”

“In all honesty – are we always in agreement with what is said by others? Are we always in concurrence with their thoughts? Certainly not. ‘Agar koi baat theek nahi lag rahi hai, toh uss insaan ko toko, usko roko …’
“There are innumerable times when we don’t agree with the other person’s point of view. It could be anyone. It could be our parents, siblings, husband, wife, children, friends, or colleagues. We should, at times, go beyond, and above, the relationship that we share with the other person; let go the emotional bond of love and sympathy that connects us with them, and make them see things in the correct perspective by checking them and telling them where they have erred and how they could overcome this particular weakness at the earliest.”

“Blind love can never be of any good for anyone. On the other hand, it can only harm the other person. It becomes our sacrosanct duty to stop anyone we know, love and care for – to make them aware of the precarious situation in which they could find themselves if they did not mend their ways immediately…’Hummey unke hitt ke liye, unhe rokna chahiye…’ Mothers and fathers blinded by love for their child are very often unable to muster the courage needed to say…’No! What you are doing and saying is wrong!’ The child gets used to having his own way, and unless he is checked and controlled at the right time, by his parents, the pampered child might fail to see the difference between right and wrong and shortly things could get out of control.”

“’Agar woh galti kar raha hai – kuch galat keh raha hai, toh ussey ussi samay par toko, nahi toh woh galti par galti karte jaega. Bahut baar, ma aur pita apne bachchon ko rokte nahin hain. Aise toh unki galat aadat badhti jaegi!’ – Similarly, children too should be able to point out – respectfully and patiently – the shortcomings and weakness that they detect in their parents, so that they too realize that they have to become less rigid and a change in their mindset is needed with changing times.”

“We must dare to disagree with others if their views, personal or professional, are causing them harm and are encouraging them in forming habits which are unhealthy and undesirable; or are detrimental to society. It is essential to disagree, if it benefits and helps them in improving their wayward lifestyle, brings flexibility in their otherwise rigid way of thinking, and changes them into tolerant individuals who are willing to listen to what others,too, have to say to them.”

“Why do we then nod our heads in agreement and submission – subduing the voice within us – which tries to draw our attention to that which is not right in the other person – the flawed words used by him and his unethical behavior and actions ? ‘Woh insaan apni agyaanta mein kuch bhi kehta jaata hai aur karta jaata hai , jab tak ussey koi tokega ya rokega nahi!’ We refrain from saying anything to him, as our love or respect for him, which has become our weakness, prevents us from doing so and we continue to accept him the way he is, fearful that we may hurt him otherwise.The ancient scriptures, too, have clearly stated the relevance of having a strong, independent mind – a mind that is fearless and does not get unduly worried at stating expressly, that he begged to differ from others, as what was being said or done, by the other person, was wrong and unacceptable to him, and the other person had to be made aware of his follies and absurd behaviour.”

“What should be done if a youngster in today’s grim scenario insists on partying and parlaying, and tries to convince his friend that they should go out! What should be the response of his friend? Should he meekly follow this irresponsible person’s behaviour? Or should he try his level best to stop him from stepping out unnecessarily and putting his, as well as the lives of others, at peril. He could remind his friend – ‘Wouldn’t praying be better than partying? – and transform him for ever.”

18 thoughts on ““Hamesha ‘haan’ mein ‘haan’ milana theek nahi hai…

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  1. Absolutely Divine and factful message… As Swamiji says in this period of “Kaliyug” one has to earn respect by standing up and voicing what one feels is correct. Jai Ajay Guru Devaya Namaha

  2. This is so true, we should be always thoughtful when saying ‘YES’ or accepting the statement of others.
    Jai Swami ji

  3. Praying is indeed better than partying..

    Aap ko mera koti shaha

    Apni charano mein rakhein.

  4. हमें दूसरों के विचार और व्यवहार से सहमति और असहमति में समत्व भाव रखना चाहिऐ। अंधे प्यार या भय से दूर रहकर ही यह संभव हो पाता है। ठीक को ठीक और अनुचित को ना कहने के साहस का भाव दिखाकर स्वामी जी ने हमें आत्मबल दिया है,कोटि कोटि प्रणाम।
    स्वामी जी के चरणों में नमन करता हूँ।

  5. It may not be a good idea to be a yes man all the time. You are allowed to say no to others and yes to yourself if that helps to better the situation or that person. You will realise that it is liberating and good for your self dignity. Don’t lose your voice for someone else.

    Thank you Swamiji for your guidance.

    Grateful as always.

  6. Om Gurudevo Namaha. What an enlightening message. This is actual fact of life .Saying yes to everything because we dont want to hurt anybody,or anybody’s sentiments because we have been bought up in such a way not to hurt anybody but we don’t realize we might be harming a person somewhere down the line. In these 52 years of life know I have learnt to say No to things which I feel which is wrong which gives me immense satisfaction because either I am saving some one from getting spoilt or I am empowering that person to develop there endurance power of listening “NO”.As I am an educator since last 25 years I have always atleast taught my kids to differentiate between good and evil,right and wrong.and when to put their foot down and fight for there rights.Today we all shall empower ourselves as disciples of Swamiji with the facts of life and should put our step forward to not always please others nor to get accustomed to listening to “No”also from the world.The times have changed and we need to change ourselves to bring that revolution in the society.
    Prabhu kripa.Om Gurudevo Namaha.
    Thank you Swamiji for always showing a new aspect of life.

  7. Practise saying NO if you are not convinced or do not endorse a particular behaviour. This would help the other person to introspect his/her thoughts and behaviour. Lastly, it is equally important for one’s own self respect and self confidence.

    Gratitude Swamijee !

  8. Rightly said swamyji…. if we know that something is not right, we should let the other person know about it…its up to the other person to agree to it or not. But our duty is to tell that this is wrong instead of agreeing to the wrong statement made by him. Aajkal ke zamaane me society jaisi hai, log waise hi reh rahe hai. Kuch galat hota hai to bolne se katraate hai…. is tarah society me bhi galat cheezein ka badhawa zyada ho jaata hai…. chote bachche yeh dekhkar bahar galat cheezein seekhte hai….. sahi aur galat ka matlab har insaan ko pata lagna chahiye…. we should never refrain from telling the person if something is going wrong…..
    It could sound like a small thing but can have huge impact on us and the society. Thanks for enlightening us with such great thoughts Swamyji….

  9. Truth Should be spoken with sweetness.
    Otherwise better to be silent. But never support falsehood.

    Pranam Prabhu

  10. Many people won’t say ‘NO ‘ because of the fear of anger that may cause the other person, or simply to avoid unnecessary arguments. No body wants to hear ‘NO’ and they won’t agree for that. They can’t see the other’s view point. But that is not at all a right attitude. One has to be ready for the criticism and mend one’s ways accordingly.
    One may need great mental strength to call a spade a spade. Fearlessness is a great virtue. One has to strive to have that trait.
    Our beloved Swamiji as always shown us the right path to walk on.
    Pranam Swamiji 🙏🙏🙏

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