Dedicated to Swamiji Ajay Jain ji

Swami Ji said…

The visuals and visages of the people we see around us—their countenance, the expressions worn on their faces—portray the urgent need to share an untold story of the pain, problems and suffering that they carry within themselves. And, perhaps they would like to share it with others, to speak about it – while knowing very well at the same time that time, sympathy, and empathy are qualities that everyone around them seems to be running short of. Deep within our hearts we know that storms and ordeals will come our way – but still, we brush those thoughts aside, as we feel that our life which we have managed so well this far- will remain problem free throughout.

Each one of us feels that we are the master conductor of the rhapsody called ‘life’, and we want life to unfold in accordance with the chords struck by us, with all conditions and situations turning favourable to us. We seek to dominate and control it, rather than learn to respect the fact that it is life that holds our steering wheel, manoeuvring us through the countless, ever-changing phases of our existence. Yet, we continue to err in our inability to comprehend the mysterious and unpredictable ways of life.

Life requires only a fraction of a second to remind us who is truly in command—life or we. In one instant, it can catapult us to fame; and in the very next, it can pull us down from the dreamland in which we may have been floating in ecstasy—by presenting a challenge that we could not have imagined even in our wildest dreams.

Different, difficult, and challenging situations may erupt in our lives with volcanic force. But since nothing—nothing at all—happens in our lives without a reason, we must strengthen and fortify our minds to bear the onslaught of such obstacles, and learn to scrutinise them carefully so as to detect the hidden positive, that may not be immediately visible, but, will surely emerge in time.

If we were asked to define life, how would we do so? What do we expect from it?
“A perfect life. Happiness in plenty. Wealth in abundance. A beautiful life with no problems at all. Ever. Everything in our life should be good…” This would perhaps be our reply, a chorus in unison.

But is such a life truly possible? And is such a life even truly a life? Without the bad, how can one appreciate the good? Peace can only be appreciated when turmoil recedes, and the drudgery of stillness can only be replaced by the flow of life. Thus, our own expectations of life, and how we wish it to unfold, only shortchange its beauty.

Bravery shines brightest in the face of fear; resourcefulness proves invaluable in times of scarcity; discipline carries one through when opportunities to succeed are few and far between. Thus, the so-called problems of life are not truly problems, but opportunities—opportunities to reinvent and improve ourselves. They are life’s way—God’s way—of giving us a chance to change and grow. They draw our attention to what we lack and what we may be doing wrong.

Those on the spiritual path must learn to look at each problem as an opportunity. Yes, even the most difficult of problems carry a message. They demand more from us—mentally and physically—and reveal the immense strength and capacity we possess to face and resolve them. They may take away our comfort and strip away the material and worldly ease to which good times have accustomed us to. Yet, that is precisely why they are valuable. Tough circumstances reveal that everything in this world is temporary, while the ‘spirit’ and the ‘soul’ are enduring.

We come to realise that who we are should not be defined by the circumstances we are in—for they are not within our control, and never can be—but rather by our actions.

Would we not all wish to remain forever young and healthy, rich and regal? Yet these too are merely circumstances—functions of the illusory material world. The body can fall unwell; it will certainly age. The wealth we possess today may be lost tomorrow. The position we hold today may belong to someone else tomorrow. These things become problematic only when we begin to define ourselves by them—‘young’, ‘wealthy’, ‘powerful’.

These so-called tragedies of life merely expose our attachments to this world. In truth, they are God’s way of asking us to re-examine ourselves, to strip away what is unnecessary— ego, pride, and vanity— and to see ourselves as we truly are. They compel us to ask -” What is this ‘kasht’ that we are going through trying to teach us ?”

Often, the solution to a problem does not lie in its disappearance, but, in our acceptance of it and our ability to adapt. When we adapt to new circumstances—when we change and renew ourselves— we regain our sense of balance. That is the process of self-improvement.

Difficult times are the ones that compel us to mend our ways, shed our misconceptions, and gain clarity about what we must do and where we must focus. In truth, the problems of life are not problems at all. Rather, they are guideposts—showing us the path we must take, the path that leads us ever closer to Him.

Swami ji said…

‘Time’ that we take for granted is fleeting. It passes by in an instant—unaffected by anything, unstoppable—seemingly waiting for none. But could it, quietly and silently, be playing the role of a watchful observer, as it witnesses us celebrate our joys and grieve over our sorrows? What about
our whimsical promises to become better individuals from the next day and then conveniently forgetting to adhere to our own words, are something that time has witnessed again and again – knowing very well how weak many of us are in reality ?

It seems to beam at us lovingly on seeing us wait impatiently for those auspicious, sacred, and sublime days when we welcome God into our homes—in whichever form He may be, whether as feminine or masculine divine energy—promising ourselves that we will become better than before, more awakened and more conscious.
It watches us, almost bemusedly, as during those days, in particular, we attempt to discipline ourselves and enter into a silent pact with the Divine—that we will steel ourselves to follow a routine, make an effort to exercise self-restraint, and perform the rituals required to invoke the Divine One’s blessings and Grace upon us. Keeping the ordained instructions in mind, we become extremely conscious of our ‘karma’. “हमारी सोच, हमारे विचार, हमारे बोलने का तरीका, दूसरों के साथ हम कैसा व्यवहार करते हैं, सात्विक भोजन ग्रहण करते हैं…”We succeed in bringing about quite a many changes in ourselves during such auspicious days.

So keen are we to please and placate the Divine—perhaps fearing that we may have incurred His displeasure in some way—that we worship Him with exemplary devotion. We may even dedicate a few extra hours while serving God with a sense of duty, expressing gratitude for all that He does and has done so far for us. All this unfolds with time watching us metamorphose into ‘different’ individuals during the entire duration of those auspicious days. But, then, why is it that many among us are unable to maintain this fervour, enthusiasm, and devotion once the celebratory spirit wanes off?

Time constantly sees how we manage ourselves as we rise and fall; the grace with which we handle our inner turmoil and meet the demands of the external world. It observes the way we live our lives—whether we treat life as a battle, living in constant worry and tension, or whether we live in a state of gratitude, thankful for every little blessing that He endows upon us.

The spiritual seeker must remember that there are no ‘holidays’ in worship and prayer. We cannot assume that we can be spiritual on six days of the week, but not on the seventh. We must strive to carry God in our thoughts at all times. Whether we are enjoying life, struggling with it, feeling bored, or feeling excited—the illusory nature of this world must not distract us from God. There is no ‘special time’ for God. He can and must be remembered everywhere. Consciously or subconsciously, we must strive to take His name in every breath and bow our heads to Him. That is the attitude a spiritual seeker must cultivate. This is what will truly help one realise the fickleness of this world and the permanence of God. It is only through constant remembrance and prayer that we come to understand that God does not need to be invited into our homes; rather, He is already everywhere—it is we who must learn to see Him.

Of course, it is good to celebrate festivals and observe long-standing rituals, but, it is incorrect to reserve only those days for God. Do we care for our children only on certain days of the month? Do we remember our parents only a few times in the year? Do we love them more on Diwali and less on other days? Then why should it be so with God?

Such behaviour reveals that we may have reduced our relationship with God to a transactional one. But God is not a vain deity whose ego needs to be appeased with offerings and prayers. God needs nothing from us. He is with us when no one else is. He is our strength in times of fear and our hope in moments of despair. We need Him; He does not need us. He pays attention to us even when we are distracted from Him.

Our only hope for liberation from the cycle of birth and rebirth is to know and understand Him. And this cannot be achieved by treating Him like a distant acquaintance – but as The One who has made us a part of Himself and is present within us.

Swami ji said…

The lip-smacking glee that we experience, that wicked pleasure, that self-centred smugness, and the faintly malicious smirk that becomes visible on our face—“जब हम दूसरों को गलत साबित करने में, और अपने आप को किसी भी हालत में सही साबित करवाने की होड़ में लग जाते हैं…”— is an undesirable trait- widely prevalent among many of us.

It is perplexing to analyse the reasons that make us behave in such a pompous and authoritative manner , as though we have won a contest and been declared victorious. But victorious over what? The issue itself becomes irrelevant – as what seems to matter to us is whether we have emerged triumphant or not.

But why are we constantly engaged in this mental war with others? Even with our family and friends, we often find ourselves stating opinions and insisting that they are the truth. In fact, we seem to have rebuttals ready for anything said by others that contradicts us. To an outsider, it would appear that we are not conversing, but rather engaging in a heated verbal debate.

The opinions and perspectives that we hold and are willing to fight over- are as varied as the many aspects of life— politics, health, wealth, and relationships. We are ready to argue and prove ourselves right over anything and everything under the sun. Whoever has our ear, whoever we feel we can influence—we try to impose our views on them, without making an effort to understand theirs.

To be successful on the spiritual path, it is essential for us to check this behaviour within ourselves. But this is easier said than done. When we engage in such behaviour repeatedly, we are, in effect, feeding our ego and inflating our pride.

How then can one, who has all his life convinced himself that only he is right, open his mind and heart to others? How can he accept that he might be wrong, and that perhaps he does not have the complete understanding of what he speaks?

If this is the tendency within us, how do we correct it? It is essential to practise humility. When hearing someone say things that we do not necessarily agree with – we must first check our emotions. The urge to interrupt, the urge to disagree immediately, must be controlled. This in itself is a great practice to improve ourselves, for it enables us to observe and control the emotions that arise within us. We often realise that it is inexplicable, deep-seated anger and frustration that make us constantly disagreeable with others.

The next step is to learn to accept what is being said. It may surprise many of us that this is not as difficult as we think it to be. To simply nod in agreement, to try and see someone else’s point of view, does not mean that our ‘अस्तित्व’— our basis of existence— is erased. It means that we are accepting that someone else can hold a perspective different from our own. It means that we are accepting that their experiences have shaped their beliefs in ways that are different from our own.

Such thought and reflection make us realise how vast the world is, and how small our own lives and experiences are in comparison. This makes us more humble.
It is this humility that makes us realise that no matter how grand a life we live, we will never fully understand how this world truly works. We begin to see that what we consider right – may appear wrong in someone else’s eyes. This humility gradually leads to the realisation that no amount of intellectual analysis can ever fully explain the world to us, and, that we must ultimately surrender to God’s will.

Do not let the mind believe that it knows everything. Yes, we all need a system of thinking, a way of analysing and our own personal code of conduct. These are what define us. But it is important to understand that these are limited to us. Just as we believe in ourselves, others do so too. And we have no right to impose ourselves in any way on them.

Lord Vishnu took various ‘avatars’ when He came into this world. Did every ‘avatar’ have the same personality? Did they preach the same principles? Were Lord Ram and Lord Parshuram the same? One was calm and composed— the epitome of a king; the other supremely fierce—the epitome of a warrior. Lord Krishna, at times, set aside rules for the sake of ‘dharma’. For Shri Ram, following rules and traditions was ‘dharma’ itself. Can we ever say that one was wrong and the other was right? Not at all.

Why then question the differences between us? We too are God’s children, made in His very reflection. Who then are we to say that one child knows better than the other?

Swami ji said…

“ रिश्ते निभाना, संभालना, उन्हें मज़बूत रखना भी तो हमारी नैतिक ज़िम्मेदारी होती है…” Then why is it that today, more often than not—irrespective of who the individuals are— one finds oneself at odds with someone who, until recently, had held a very special place in one’s life; someone who was once deeply cherished, but who today has become the most disliked, even hated, person?

It could be anyone within the circle of our relationships—a parent, a sibling, a spouse, or a friend. At times, it does not even take a major incident for a relationship to begin deteriorating rapidly, often without either side making a sincere effort to mend what may have been damaged by loss of trust, misunderstanding, impatience, or a lack of good judgement in accepting each other’s similarities and differences.

Has giving someone a ‘second chance’ become a thing of the past in today’s fast-paced life, with its constantly changing needs and demands?

Do we not often hear people say—regardless of the relationship they share—while highlighting how alike they are and how well they get along ? “वो बिल्कुल मेरी तरह है… हमारे स्वभाव में, सोचने के तरीके में बहुत समानताएँ हैं…” “हमारी अच्छी बनती है…” – is repeatedly said by them – appreciating their similarities.

Everything seems perfect for as long as the two individuals remain in sync— sharing similar habits, similar choices, and a similar temperament. But at the very first sign of differences emerging between them, things no longer remain the same. They can quickly spiral out of control and, at times, become damaged beyond repair.
Why do we allow things to become so volatile between us and someone – whom we had once treasured so deeply?

Do we find ourselves confronted with this situation simply because we are not magnanimous enough to recognise, accept, and respect the differences that will inevitably exist between individuals? How and why do relationships end so rapidly and so easily? Is it possible that we are turning into individuals with lower tolerance levels? Or is the deeper issue this—that we wish to preserve not the relationship – but our own sense of being right?

To apologise— to say the words “I am sorry”— often seem to get lodged in the throat. We refuse to apologise because, from our own perspective, we were never in the wrong. And so estrangement, even between a father and son, is no longer unheard of in today’s increasingly materialistic world of relationships
How far is one willing to go to reconcile? Is one ready to appear small in the other person’s eyes by admitting that he may have been wrong ?

Is it possible for any two individuals to have identical dispositions, mindsets, and attitude towards life? Would life not become far more beautiful if we could learn not only to appreciate our similarities, but also to respect our differences?

The spiritual seeker must always remain aware of this universal truth—that we are all individuals. Even twins develop different characteristics over time. Why then can we not accept that the people around us will also change, evolve, and develop different perspectives and attitude? Some may be more like us, and others less so. Neither is inherently bad nor good.

Those who are similar to us may make us feel more at ease, more comfortable. But those who are different may simply be taking us out of our comfort zone and opening our eyes to the world in a way we had not appreciated before.

While on the spiritual path, one might wrongly begin to believe that his own way of doing things is the right way. But then he is quite mistaken – if he thinks this way. One is neither superior nor inferior merely because one has adopted a spiritual view of life. One has no right to pass judgement on those who do not see or seek God in their daily lives. It is entirely possible that an atheist may be living life in a way that is far more pleasing to God.

In fact, the spiritual seeker must use every opportunity to listen to and learn from those who hold different— even contradictory— views. This expands one’s horizon, awakens one to questions one may never have asked oneself, and encourages deeper reflection on one’s own beliefs and teachings. And that should not be frightening. For if one’s intentions of seeking God are pure, such an exercise will only burn away lingering doubts. And if they are not, it may gently lead one back to the right path.

But this is only possible if the spiritual seeker remains accepting of the many varied people who enter his life, and does not let these differences become a source of friction.

Ultimately, it is the ego that hurts relationships. It is the ego that tells us that we cannot be wrong. It is the ego that tells us that we are too big to apologise. It is also the ego that tells us that we are too hurt to forgive. We must realise the difference between self-respect and an inflated ego.

It is important to remember that even in conflict if we realise – that we have been wrong – we should take it as a blessing. To acknowledge that one is wrong, or has wronged someone, is humbling. And perhaps it is God who has humbled us. For it may only mean that He wishes to prepare us – so that He may raise us later.

Do not hold grudges. How can one hope to offer one’s heart and soul to God, if, they remain stained by hate and anger towards His other children? It is therefore more important to love and respect those around us before even trying to walk on the path towards God.

And how can we hope for God to forgive our own trespasses and imperfections if we ourselves are unable to forgive those of others? Whatever others may say or do to us, can truly be let go off, only, when we ourselves lose the capacity to do the same to them.

Thus, the state of our relationship with others is often a reflection of our relationship with God. The more kindness and love we share with others, the happier He will be with us.

Swami ji said …

No stone was left unturned and painstaking efforts were made by our elders – right through our childhood and adolescence – to instill in us the major difference between ‘right’ and ‘wrong’; to be ever conscious of the distinct void that exists between them and how essential it was for us to not even think of going down the ‘wrong’ path that would tempt us to indulge in wrong-doings- “हमेशा सही काम करो… गलती करने से दूर रहो”- It would not be possible for us to count the number of times our parents had reminded us, gently, and, at times even forewarned us – as they knew we just might be tempted to do the wrong thing. Constant reminders to always do the right thing – “जो चीज़ तुम्हारी नहीं है—वह कभी भी, किसी भी हाल में, तुम्हारा मन चाहे जितना भी ललचाए—मत लेना…” “कोई भी गलत काम मत करना…” – were ingrained in us – but did we abide by their stern reminders?

Not really – as a few among us might have just picked up a brand-new scented eraser from our classmate’s pencil box and carried it home for just a night- and on being caught by our parents – returned it with great reluctance to the ‘rightful’ owner. We just did it. Maybe, the ‘desire’ to possess an eye-catching object could have overpowered our ability to think with clarity at that young age. The question – ‘ Why had we done so? ‘ – could draw different answers from us – as we would try to defend our act – which we would deep down know – should have never been done by us.

Our parents had told us, tirelessly, during our adolescence – to stay away from certain vices – that could take a heavy toll on us and have damaging consequences on our health and mental state. But a few among us, in the quest to ‘try’ the untried – could have picked up certain habits – which we might not have been able to give up over the years and have unfortunately become an inseparable part of our lives today. Was it our ‘ego’ that refused to listen to the simple direction given to us by them that – if what we intended to do was not right, would not help, enrich or benefit us in any way – then that should not be done by us? But how many of us had sincerely paid heed to the valuable advice given to us by them? Mere lip-service and not adhering to a promise – in case we had made one to them – would neither work in our favour nor ensure our betterment in any way.

‘Speak the ‘truth’ ‘- at all times, irrespective of the condition and circumstances in which we found ourselves – was the simple, but, very significant principle that our parents repeatedly had told us to build our lives on – but, again, how many times had we taken the escape route – by speaking the ‘untruth’ and ‘lied’ – to save our skin, to get out of a difficult situation or simply because it had become a habit. Why has it always been so very easy to forget the guidelines laid down by our elders and instead settle for doing the ‘wrong’ thing – with the skill of a practiced wrong – doer, without batting an eyelid ? After all, why is it so difficult for us to adhere to the instruction – that there is no need for us to ‘say anything’ that is not ‘true’ – and to say only if it is the ‘truth’. Why fabricate lies – as one lie always leads to another lie?’

We were also told to listen more and speak only when necessary. But that is not the case today. We feel a compulsion to speak on topics with a put-on authority – despite not being well-versed at all in the issue being discussed. We have strong opinions and even stronger convictions in them – even though we very well know they might not necessarily hold true. Why speak unnecessarily- when we don’t know much about the core issue? Wouldn’t it be better to stay quiet?

For the spiritual seeker, this morality check of oneself is a necessary practice. We often do that which we not ought to do as the mind convinces us otherwise. Slander and falsehood is labelled as a ‘joke’ by the mind, a means of fun and frolic – not understanding the pain and hurt it can cause. Poor habits, addictions are indulged by the mind as ‘treats’ – “Just this one time won’t hurt… I deserve a break” – the mind says. The mind spins tales to us and before long, we are speaking lies and committing bad actions, all under some pretext or another. And it does not then take any longer for us to fall into a corrupt and morally bankrupt lifestyle.

The mind is powerful. Controlling it is akin to controlling an army of thousands. Thus, it is perfectly natural for us to fall into vices and sin at times. However, it is important that we build a mental immunity to this, by constantly checking ourselves. Asking ourselves, am I doing something wrong here? Is my quest for comfort forcing me to do something immoral? Am I deceiving myself by doing what I am doing? Am I looking the wrong way- instead of acknowledging my drawbacks and weaknesses? It is only then that we can become stronger in mind and focus our energy on developing ourselves spiritually.