Dedicated to Swamiji Ajay Jain ji

Swami ji said …

“आपने मेरे लिए किया ही क्या है?” “What have you ever done for me?”
These are words that pierce parents’ hearts and hurt them beyond measure when uttered by their own children. These are words that, in an instant, can dismiss the love that drove parents to make sacrifices for their children’s well-being. And these days, such words are often spoken by the younger generation to their parents with absolute indifference.

Some children are audacious and shameless enough to place the blame for their own inadequacies, failures and shortcomings squarely on their parents, putting them in the dock. Nothing should shock us anymore, particularly in today’s world, where some youngsters feel that it is their birthright to treat their parents disrespectfully. Their discourteous attitude towards their parents speaks volumes – about how their parents’ have failed them – maybe, by not supporting them when they needed parental support the most; by not standing by their decision- as they were convinced it would have been the best for them. Parental dissent is nearly unacceptable these days.

Besieged by a materialistic world where one’s worth is measured solely by money and possessions, people nowadays, place little value on ‘values’, ‘knowledge’ and ‘wisdom’— the essentials needed to lead a morally upright life. These are ‘riches’ that only parents can give to their children. And, yet, children today are utterly ungrateful for having been taught these ‘gems’ by their parents.

Only a handful ever feel grateful to their parents for teaching them kindness and respect; the importance of speaking the truth at all times; to not be dishonest. Even fewer thank their stars for having parents who showed them the importance of worshipping God; praying to Him regularly and to have faith in Him and His plans for them.

Today, it is all about money, property and inheritance. Peoples’ relationship with their parents and elders is, more often than not, based solely on these considerations. ‘Seva’ of ageing parents could be considered a fruitful transaction in the hope of a financial reward later on. Doors and hearts are shut for old parents- as they are considered ‘added’ responsibility- which is to be shirked at all cost.

Respect and love is shown only to gain access to family wealth later on. And, all this charade is carried out with great confidence by the younger lot- to fool their very life source- their parents. Do they really think that their parents cannot see through the game that is being played in front of them? And, if, the elderly have no precious ‘carrots’ to dangle as incentives- little time is, unfortunately, devoted to them and their well-being.

Let us remember Lord Ram. He did not let his behaviour or his attitude towards King Dashrath or Queen Kaikeyi change even a little- when he was unfairly denied the crown and asked to leave the kingdom for fourteen years. He did not rage at them for putting him in such a difficult position. He did not blame them for the misery he was about to suffer in the forests. He simply accepted it all as his lot in life and faced it unflinchingly.

Children must be taught that nothing in this world, including an inheritance- can be taken for granted. They must understand, in a spiritual sense, that ‘nothing’ is guaranteed in life. Even when a parent says, “This will be yours…”, “You will inherit this…” or “We have this…” – these words are in no way a real guarantee. For the only one who can ever guarantee us anything is God.

If children can be made to understand this and to realise that good ‘karma’— loving and respecting their elders, attending to their needs and helping them when they are in difficulty— is what will truly count in the end- perhaps then there will be genuine kindness and respect for the elderly.

Our culture, traditions and values tell us to honour our ancestors, remember them and seek their blessings. We feed crows in their honour, offer prayers and perform ‘pooja’ in their name- in the hope that they find peace.
But of what use is such peace to our ancestors now- if, we could not give them real peace while they were still with us? Disregarding them; deliberately making them feel unwanted when they were alive – when they needed us and our love the most – stays in our conscience – and no matter how much we try to erase it from our memory – it stays with us. Too late to make amends now.

No prayers or offerings today can make up for the love we failed to give them while they were with us. Let us remind ourselves that it would be the best if we could ‘serve’ them ‘now’ – with the simple things that they would desire- peace and happiness at home; seek their advice because we value their words; make them feel welcome and an integral part of the ‘home’- of which they were the central figures ones. It is said that God loves to reside in a home where the elders are happy and feel ‘needed’ by the next generation.

Swami ji said…

On hearing someone say, “I am deeply spiritual…” or “मैं एक आध्यात्मिक व्यक्ति हूँ…” – we are undoubtedly left impressed – as we silently try to absorb the impact of the profound statement made by them. And, as we never really say this about ourselves, we wonder what that person means. We are filled with curiosity about what are the special, different things that they do and the ‘manner’ in which they live- to be able to say that they are ‘spiritual’. We immediately form a distinct image of such individuals. We look at them as if they somehow ‘feel’ more than we do, as if they are different from us. Our own perception – creates an aura of mystique around them.
But in reality- we are all spiritual beings.

It is just that some of us live our lives keeping this in mind— acknowledging the ‘soul’ and its needs— a little more than others. After all, not many are inclined to take the path less trodden and venture into untested waters. The challenges of everyday life make them feel that they already have more than enough on their plate, leaving little time to embark on an ‘ unknown’ journey. They also believe that since time is on their side— that they are still young – they can easily postpone their spiritual phase until the twilight years of their lives.

One should not be too surprised, then, to hear someone ask a spiritual person – “आध्यात्मिक होने के लिए क्या करना पड़ता है? बड़ा मुश्किल होता है दुनियादारी छोड़ना…” But, how can one tell someone about a path one has not travelled oneself ?

Many among us who walk the spiritual path have never been directed by their ‘guru’ to give up their household duties or retire from society. They have been taught not to retreat to caves and mountains, but, to live and breathe with God in every moment- while remaining a part of this cosmic play of ‘maya’.

To live in a spiritually inclined manner means that one has a different view of the world. One seeks to be measured in one’s emotions and reactions to worldly experiences, whether good or bad. One sees oneself as the ‘soul’, not the body, and thinks and behaves in a manner that reflects this understanding.

To live spiritually means that we are even more aware of ourselves, our mind, its struggles and its tumultuous moods from moment to moment. Despite this inner turmoil, we are still able to act in ways that are principled and morally correct.

There is a misconception that one has to ‘sacrifice’ everything to become spiritually inclined. It is, however, the other way round. Being spiritually aware makes one less and less attached to material things and worldly riches. As we awaken spiritually and seek enlightenment, we naturally gravitate towards a life that cuts out the unnecessary distractions of the world. Just as bees are drawn to nectar, the spiritually awakened are drawn to God.

Apart from having the ability and mental strength to meditate and focus on God for hours- it becomes a spiritual seeker- to bear compassion in his heart- to be able to relate with the suffering and helplessness of others; to ensure that his actions are kind and noble and there is utmost purity in his intentions. It is not enough for him to only have thoughts about ‘being a spiritual person’- he has to ‘live spiritually’- live a life devoted to finding the true purpose of his life; to learn to master his senses; to change himself- instead of expecting others to change themselves and have complete faith in ‘divine will’.

Swami ji said…

“बहुत टेंशन चल रही है आजकल…” “Life is so stressful…”

“तनाव के कारण मुझे नींद नहीं आ रही है…” These are emotional expressions heard very often by us today. They convey the frightening degree of emotional distress, strain and pressure which seems to be overwhelming many, many people — eventually leading to poor health, medical complications and, at times, even a complete nervous breakdown.

But instead of merely repeating these melancholic words, do we ever stop and try to understand the reasons that we allow such havoc to be created in our minds, in such an uncontrolled manner, causing anxiety, restlessness and mental disarray within us?

Is this not, perhaps, one of the worst punishments that we can inflict upon ourselves? How do we manage to get ourselves entangled in a cobweb of our own making? The answer, perhaps, is known only to us…“हमने क्या अपने आप से, दूसरों से और ज़िंदगी से कुछ ज़्यादा ही अपेक्षाएँ और उम्मीदें लगा रखी हैं— जो सच्चाई से कोसों दूर हैं? क्या हम किसी भ्रम में जी रहे हैं?”

Is it possible that the gap which exists between our ‘expectations’ from life — from ourselves and from other people — and the ‘reality’ of our lives, and the manner in which we live out our lives, could be one of the major causes of the apprehension and uneasiness that creates stress within us?

Do we ‘expect’ too much from life, while remaining unwilling to ‘accept’ the everyday occurrences of life when they turn out to be a far cry from the reality that we had imagined?

And what is it about man’s obsession with not letting go of his past? Why does he insist upon carrying its heavy burden along with him— loading an already burdened heart and mind with the additional ‘fear’ of the ‘unknown’? That unknown future which, by God’s will, he may perhaps never even have to face.

Won’t man’s negative habit of constantly anticipating the worst that could happen in his life gradually fill him with sadness and despair— nullifying even the humble attempts made by happiness to enter his doorway?
Happiness may knock gently, again and again— but a mind occupied with sad memories of yesterday and fears of tomorrow may fail to hear it. Thus, sad he remains— increasing his own uneasiness, anxiety and stress.

Mistakes are made by nearly all of us— major or minor. In fact, some people have benefited greatly by learning from the mistakes made by them, which later proved to be life-changing.
Of course, one is filled with regret for having erred, for having made a mistake. But merely regretting it forever, and not moving ahead, will neither serve any purpose nor do us any good, except keep us living in tension. A mistake should teach us — not become a burden that we carry for the rest of our lives.

Just like a bird that leaves behind all its fears, sadness and regrets and takes a new flight, we too must shed the baggage of the negative traits that reside within us and begin anew with a positive thought process. There comes a time when one must say to oneself:
“जो हो गया, उससे सीखो— लेकिन उसे लेकर जीते मत रहो…”

The spiritual seeker must realise that the mistakes of yesterday are lessons that we are meant to remember today. They are meant to give us the wisdom to act correctly in the present. And when it comes to the uncertainty of tomorrow, one must learn to let ‘tomorrow take care of itself’.

The spiritual path is no less daunting than everyday life. One will fail repeatedly. One is bound to err. But that is not an aberration from the spiritual path; in many ways, it is the path itself. God will not be realised in one day— or perhaps even in ten thousand days.

One’s spiritual practices today might seem perfect. One might experience great changes and feel that one has made tremendous spiritual progress. Yet tomorrow may reveal how far one still has to go. And the day after may expose flaws within us that we never even knew existed.

This may happen numerous times. Again and again, the spiritual path may appear challenging. Repeated failures may create within us the stress that arises from feeling ‘unworthy’. But even at such times, one must remember- ‘One can only do one’s best’. Perhaps that in itself is among the highest forms of ‘karma’ available to us — to act sincerely, to correct ourselves when we fail, to continue making the effort, and then to surrender the judgement of our efforts to God.

Let God, and God alone, decide the ‘worth’ of our actions and our efforts.
Our duty is to act with sincerity. The result, the judgement and the final measure of that effort belong to Him.

Perhaps a great deal of our stress does not arise merely from what happens to us. It arises from our insistence that what happens to us, with us, around us – ‘should have happened differently’ — from our inability to let go of what has already happened, and from our fear of what may never happen at all.

This dilemma — this incessant and self-defeating thought process — can perhaps be overcome only by practising the acceptance of life as it really is. One must stop fantasising about what a ‘perfect world’ should be, and, instead, become curious and enthusiastic about seeing how life actually unfolds before one’s eyes.

Yes, this may sound odd. But if we learn to embrace the uncertainty of life, and, even begin to appreciate the manner in which life so often defies the expectations of our own mind, we may find ourselves far better equipped – to handle whatever comes before us.

We may then find that we spend far less time cursing our luck and instead spend far more time focusing on the task at hand. We may also spare ourselves much of the emotional upheaval that so often arises when we feel caught unawares by life. Take joy in life as it is. Marvel at how suddenly it can change. Learn from its impermanence that detachment is one of the keys to protecting oneself from grief.

Remember that nothing lasts. Death is a certainty — not only for man, but, eventually for everything that he considers his own: his possessions, his name, his fame and his relationships. Everything, in time, comes to an end. And thus, there is perhaps nothing that we can gain or lose in this life that is truly more valuable than our ‘soul’.

Life is a ‘गुरु’ in itself. It is constantly showing us what we need to focus upon and what path we must take. If we observe it carefully — with a pure heart and a clear mind — we may begin to realise that life is not a struggle meant to break our spirit, but, a journey meant to uplift our ‘soul’.

Swami ji said…

The aplomb and disdain with which we address others — when we are either angry or frustrated with their behaviour- by telling them off arrogantly- “मैं तुम्हें बहुत अच्छी तरह से जानता हूँ…” – might not be the wisest policy to adopt- as this could leave the other person flabbergasted — but, since we are determined to sing our own tune, we fail to see the questioning and astonished look on the other person’s face.

Can we visualise, even for a second, what would our response be if he could turn back and counter-question us : “पहले तुम मुझे यह बताओ कि तुम अपने आप को कितनी अच्छी तरह से जानते हो ?”And that rebuttal could certainly take the winds out of our sails — and leave us floundering — on detecting the underlying truth in that statement!

Are we truly as sincere, honest and genuine as we appear to outsiders? Or do we play a game of pretence and present a false façade to others around us?

And this is the major mistake that we make by thinking that ‘no one’ will know about the deceptive role being played by us.
We can fool ‘others’ by playing a ‘dual’ role — but the One above, who knows us ‘in’ and ‘out’, cannot be deceived by us.

So much in love are we with our ‘intelligent’ selves that we feel we can somehow outsmart ‘Him’ — by maintaining a ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude. And, thus, we go about desperately- trying to do everything ‘good, noble and kind’- that is apparent and clearly visible on the surface — to those around us, and, of course, to Him too- since we are certain that He is watching over us from above, from ‘outside’ of us.

In a strange way, since most of us have always placed God on a pedestal — at a distance from our physical being- we have taken it for granted that ‘He’ sees all our ‘external’ activities- and we can conveniently hide from Him- ‘all’ that exists within our ‘internal’ being- as we have never felt that ‘He’ is within us. Pride, jealousy, falsehood, the art of deception- that He is the ‘only’ spectator to- but, we go on with life- secure in our ignorance that He will never know about these hidden characteristics of ours.

Can we ever hide from Him our thoughts, our feelings, our true emotions? How have we come to the conclusion that He doesn’t know about our true nature; about what we truly are?

Just like the food that we consume gives shape to our body- our thoughts give shape to our inner nature, our real personality- and ‘who’ could know better than ‘Him’ – about every thought of ours, about our ‘true’ personality.

Man, of course, can always ‘maintain’ a façade. He can give the appearance of being pious, simple and honest — while not really being so. Moreover, he can even convince himself of the same.

The spiritual seeker must always remember — God knows when he sits and rises, knows his thoughts, and even knows his words before they are spoken. One cannot hide anything from God. In fact, it is better to acknowledge one’s flaws and weaknesses in the presence of God. One should seek His help in removing the obstacles that come in the way of spiritual development.

Our aim should be to purify our ‘inner being’ to such an extent that we are certain that we have made ourselves worthy enough to have Him seated in a pure , positive and peaceful abode- within us ; where He is worshipped with a pure mind, heartfelt prayers and meditated on with a heart that is filled with love for Him.

Swami ji said …

What makes any man act? What makes him do anything at all? Why does he do what he does? What motivates him? What inspires him? What is it that he seeks? What fruits does he hope to obtain from his actions? These are indeed important and highly consequential questions in the life of anyone— and even more so from the perspective of one who seeks spiritual upliftment and joy.

If one observes children, one might notice how they seem to enjoy certain things—drawing, reading, solving puzzles, or something else altogether. It is not that they are masterful at them. Rather, they simply seem to enjoy doing them- and it appears as though- it is the ‘soul’ that is partaking in this action of theirs- making them experience pure, divine joy- as they giggle with delight and radiate happiness.

No matter how much they struggle, or ‘fail’, they do not judge themselves for it. They simply keep at it. They are merely enjoying ‘doing’ whatever it is that piques their curiosity. They have little inkling of ‘gain’ or ‘loss’, of reward or failure.

Yes, the first thought that comes to one’s mind on hearing this is that life is not as simple as that. And that is true. Life can seem complicated, with all its shades of grey. Reward and failure can have very real consequences. But, then, life is also not meant to be an enslavement to ‘results’.

One cannot live today only for tomorrow. Of course, the future must be considered. But, one who walks while looking only further ahead is bound to stumble on the path beneath his feet.

And that is the essence of the question that stands before us: Can we do something simply because we like doing it? Simply because it gives us joy?

The spiritual seeker must ask this question repeatedly. And, more often than not, answering it can be difficult. Not all days in the office can be great for us. Not all days in business bring a profit. Not all days spent taking care of a child or an elder seem rewarding or joyful. Not all days spent studying at school feel equally satisfying.
There are just as many bad days as good ones, just as many losses as wins— if not more. The fruits of our actions, whether in the short term or the long term, cannot always be- what we would like them to be.

That is simply not how life works. It is important for us to awaken the mind— to rid it of its obsession with ‘results’.
Yes, one needs an aim; that is certain. But attachment to that aim is fatal and must be avoided at all costs. True joy comes when one realises that an unwavering commitment to one’s cause, and anchoring one’s happiness to the fulfilment of that cause- are two completely distinct perspectives— and two completely different ways of life.

Take the story of Eklavya and Arjun. Eklavya’s devotion was centred upon the act of learning itself. Without Dronacharya physically present to teach him, he practised with such dedication that he attained extraordinary mastery. His commitment was so complete that, when Dronacharya asked for his right thumb as ‘guru dakshina’, he gave it without hesitation.

Arjun’s path was different. He had been promised by Dronacharya that he would become the greatest archer of his time and the fulfilment of that promise naturally became important to him. Thus, in the same story, we see two very different relationships with an aim: one in which fulfilment lay largely in devotion to the pursuit itself, and, another in which the attainment of a particular result had assumed great importance.

History remembers Arjun as one of its great heroes. Yet it also remembers Eklavya. Perhaps that itself tells us something. Achievement may determine who wins, but, devotion to one’s pursuit can leave behind a greatness of an entirely different kind.

But the reality of life is that we cannot truly control what happens tomorrow, nor can we ever know with certainty what results our actions today- will bear tomorrow or in the future. We can only take joy in knowing that we did our best today. That we left no stone unturned in the pursuit of the path we chose. And that, in fact, is all the joy that we are allowed. Joy in the action itself.

That is when our actions become our prayer and our praise to God. Every moment we live, we are grateful for having lived it and for having done the best we could. Every day of our lives then becomes an ode to God and His mysterious ways.