Dedicated to Swamiji Ajay Jain ji

Swami ji said …

All of us have a common dream: to have a dream house of our own one day. It is not uncommon to hear people around us express this wish with longing and, at the same time, with a nervous hope that God will hear their appeal: “बस, एक अपना घर चाहिए…” “I will be the happiest- the day I have a house of my own…” “I am saving every penny to buy a house…”And, once the house is finally bought— after much financial planning, loans, and, at times, even after parting with precious assets to which deep emotions are attached— a ‘ गृह-प्रवेश पूजा’; a house-warming get-together is held to celebrate this milestone- in the life of an individual, a family, or a couple. During those auspicious moments, a prayer is on everyone’s lips, requesting God to bring peace, positivity, prosperity, good health, and harmony into the newly acquired house-“घर में, परिवार में प्रेम और एकता बनी रहे…” is what everyone asks for. This prayer beautifully sums up the sanctity and emotion of that cherished moment.

But, unfortunately, why is it that, as time passes- the genuine love, affection, and unity- very often begin to erode? Why do these emotions lose their significance and give way to friction, fractured relationships, and a lack of unity among family members?
How much time do we, at times, waste in allowing the devious mind to dance to discordant notes that are aimed at creating disunity within the family?

All of us know that a great deal of labour goes into constructing a house. It begins with clay, soil, and other materials being moulded into bricks. These bricks are then arranged, joined, and plastered to form walls. It is these solid and strengthened walls that enable a house to take proper shape.

All these inanimate, “lifeless” objects work in harmony, silently supporting one another — a shining example of the truth that “united we stand.”

And this is the lesson that should remain in our minds forever- once we move into the house: Come what may, “we” — each one of us— will stand by every member of our family through thick and thin. We will remain ever ready to support one another and will not allow any external factor to disunite us.

Brick by brick, our life is made. We must always remember that the solid foundation of sound principles and good character on which we stand today- is due, in no small measure, to the immense contribution of our family. And that- discord, disunity, constant verbal conflicts, and unending differences of opinion with our loved ones- can create cracks which, if, allowed to develop- may never be repaired.

The ‘ego’ often does not allow us to accept defeat in the verbal duels that we constantly wage with others – creating a negative environment in the house. It is, therefore, important to think of ways to bridge the gaps- that begin to emerge faster – than our attempts to seal them.

As spiritual seekers, we must understand that familial disharmony is a sign- that the mind has already created foes out of one’s own people. A spiritual seeker must remember that one’s family is just as human as anyone else, and, is therefore, bound to err and make mistakes.
Their mistakes, their words, and their actions are not to be held on to forever. The same principles of forgiveness, understanding, and unconditional love that we seek to apply to the world- must also be applied to them. Yes, angry words and regretful actions by family members can hurt more deeply, but, they are just as deserving of forgiveness and love as anyone else.

It is important, therefore, that we should always try to maintain an environment in which we use loving words and kind gestures, centred around honesty, while interacting with family members. Such an environment is conducive to developing mutual respect, fostering genuine interest in one another’s well-being, and making the family a tight-knit unit which, instead of challenging itself from within, faces all difficulties together- with strength and unity.

The epic- ‘महाभारत’ – is a profound teaching on this very truth — how nurturing feelings of hatred, injustice, and revenge can turn even brothers into enemies. And, even though God, in the form of Lord Krishna, was present among them, the Kauravas and the Pandavas were unable to reconcile and overcome their differences. Instead, they spilled each other’s blood.

This is a powerful lesson on how allowing ‘ego’ and ‘pride’ to go unchecked in family matters can lead to utter destruction and chaos. We may not have God ‘physically’ present among us, today, in the way Lord Krishna was present ‘then’, and, thus, it is incumbent upon us- to preserve the pillars on which the family stands.

Swami ji said…

Deep within us is the desire to be known, to be recognised, to be famous, and to be applauded. And, we all know that it is no mean feat- for those few- among the teeming billions- who have managed to reach the summit after painstaking perseverance- in the field of their choice. These “famous faces” are limited and few. Since it is not really possible for each one of us to taste success at a national or global level, we try, in our own humble way, to earn some recognition in the small world around us. Thus, more often than not, even before actually performing a good deed, we announce to anyone within earshot- about the great act that we are about to do, give shape to — if not overtly- then, certainly by way of a hint.

If we are lucky enough to do something good, nice- and even if, we ourselves do not go about blowing our own trumpet- we often secretly wish that someone else would do so for us. We hope that our friends or family members will make a comment about our good deed in front of others, highlighting our goodness, kindness. Even if we do not make our silent desire evident through our actions- in our thoughts, we are always hungry for attention and praise.

This is not something inherently evil, and it is certainly not something to be ashamed of. But, it is something of which we must always remain aware and try our best to curtail.

Those on the spiritual path should be able to acknowledge this craving for approval and recognition in one’s ego; as once we are on the path to God, we cannot afford to let ourselves be guided by the call of fame. We must ensure that our intention is always to do the right thing; to do our duty and not earn name and fame; that good ‘karma’ is performed for the sake of good ‘karma’ itself, and nothing more; and that spiritual practice is a means to seek God alone, and, not a means to gain appreciation for being spiritually inclined.

This hunger for acknowledgement, even a little, is always present in us. And, we must be wary of it and how it affects our thoughts, words and actions in the smallest of ways. The best way to achieve this is to always ask ourselves– “Are we doing something- keeping in mind how the world will see us, or, are we doing it because morally it is the right thing to do?” Because, even doing the ‘right thing’ needs to be done free from the pressure of an audience. These subtle differences can make a world of a difference in how we perform our ‘karma’. And it is important that we are always vigilant and aware of that.

There is no point in earning glory and acclaim, if, they come at the expense of a clear conscience. A heart free of guilt and a mind free of tension are priceless compared to a renowned name and fame. We must ensure that the latter never comes at the cost of the former.

To act properly, to sacrifice for others, to serve others, to assist others and to give to others— none of these warrant any self-praise or congratulations from others. These are our duties, and, there is no greatness in performing one’s duties. It is but the bare minimum. And, if, after doing any of these, we find ourselves in a self-congratulatory mood – then it means that we have allowed our ‘ego’ to take over us completely, and, that we do not see ourselves as equal to God’s other children, but, rather above them.

Meditation and self-reflection are essential for conditioning the mind- to not fall prey to such misplaced notions of self-worth while doing anything worthwhile.
Did Lord Hanuman consider Himself to be greater than Lord Ram- after doing something that Lord Ram Himself could not do- by using His skill to ‘jump’ across to Lanka and back? Did He pat Himself on the back and look for some commendation from Shri Ram for bringing the Sanjeevani herbs for Lord Lakshman? No, not at all! He attributed His ability to do anything to Shri Ram’s Grace on Him.

Thus, the next time we are fortunate enough to do- ” नेक, अच्छा, पवित्र कार्य…” or succeed in an honest, helpful endeavour- we must remember to direct all our happiness- not towards our ego, but, rather towards the Lord and thank Him for making us worthy of such noble actions.

Swami ji said…

” What will happen tomorrow?” ” What will happen a week from now?” “What will happen a year from now ?” “How will it affect me if that happens?” “Should I be concerned?” “What can I do to safeguard myself?” “Maybe it will be best only if this happens.” “Perhaps I should make sure that this happens.”
Each one of us, at some time or another, is plagued by such thoughts — a feeling of helplessness against uncertainty, followed by a desperation to somehow control the various outcomes of life.

That is the struggle we all go through- most of the time. If we are not focused on the present – the mind often wanders into the future, trying to ‘ensure’ that things turn out exactly the way it deems fit.

In such a state, the mind is restless, fatigued, and filled with fleeting thoughts. It sees a million possibilities, and is frightened by the fact that it can never zero in on one. There is no doubt that one must try to foresee what the future might hold, or how something may unfold, and take action accordingly. That is a wise and practical way to live a successful life.

But, to be obsessed with knowing and controlling everything beforehand — that is to live in hell. Because life was never meant to be placed in man’s hands in its entirety.
His effort? Yes.
His intention? Yes.
His actions? Yes.
But not the outcomes of his life. That was never meant to be in his control. And yet, man cannot seem to accept this- and finds it difficult to understand- that it is only the acceptance of this simple fact of life- that can make a marked difference in the way he perceives life and lives it. We cannot control every outcome. We can only choose how we respond to it.

Don’t the leaves and flowers sway and dance in strong, stormy winds- although the leaves know that they will break from the branches and fall; and the flowers too know that their petals will be torn apart from them and scatter- they still accept all that is happening with them- as they know that they have no control over the climate and weather? Just as a tree bends during a storm instead of resisting it with pride- we too must learn to accept the way our life unfolds- without complaining.
We must not resist all that is happening to us, with us- endlessly. We must learn to flow with it- with gratitude and humility- thankful to be alive. Panicking and over- thinking about any undesirable development in our life- will not take away the problem- rather it will lead to further complications- that would only add to our burden.

The spiritual seeker must understand this deeply. The shock and surprises of today and tomorrow- are not to be frowned upon and scowled at. They are not always roadblocks. Many times, they are signposts, quietly telling us which way to walk in the journey of life. One must learn to observe them carefully, and, be wise enough to understand their importance.

The uncertainty of life may seem cruel, but, to be honest- it is not. It is a reminder that surrender to God is supreme. No amount of intellect, no amount of effort, no amount of planning, and, no amount of hard work can place our entire fate under our control.
What is decided by Him must be accepted.
What comes must be faced. What goes must be released. And what remains in our hands- must be attended to with sincerity, patience, faith and with a clear understanding that – ” जीवन की हर परिस्थिति को हम नियंत्रित नहीं कर सकते हैं…हर स्थिति पर हम काबू नहीं पा सकते हैं…”

Swami ji said…

What the next moment holds, what our next thought may be, what someone may say or do the very next instant — man has absolutely no control over any of this. It is this complete lack of certainty and visibility that creates great fear within him. Even in the most peaceful of surroundings, uncertainty has the power to unsettle the mind.

A crystal-clear understanding of the fact that the only ‘certainty’ of life is ‘uncertainty’ itself — that one can never know what the next moment may reveal, and, that what remained unchanged for the last ten days, or even the last ten years, may not repeat itself tomorrow — becomes the very instrument through which calmness, endurance, and acceptance are forged.

In today’s world, man constantly lives under the shadow of stress, fear, and tension. His world grows more uncertain with each passing day. His plans keep changing, his targets keep shifting, and he struggles to see a straight path showing where life is leading him.

And then there are others around him — all voicing opinions, telling him what they think is right or wrong, best or worst.
Finally, there is the haunting burden of the past — regrets about what could have been done, what should have been said, and what perhaps should never have happened at all. There is chaos and confusion all around him. There is no peace.

But this is merely the state of the world — the illusionary world around us. Man makes the mistake of believing himself to be a part of this restless chaos and therefore feels disturbed and uneasy. But , those on the spiritual path know otherwise.

What we need to practice is to – close our eyes and focus on our breath — and we will slowly realise that we are not of this world, but, merely surrounded by it. We begin to understand that circumstances do not truly control how we feel; rather, it is our mind that determines whether we remain disturbed or peaceful.

And the mind — when disciplined and controlled — can choose peace. It can withdraw itself from the noise of the world and focus solely on God.
Those who succeed in doing this radiate a serene and unperturbed aura, as they experience His presence at all times. They understand, in letter and spirit, that life — even on the spiritual path — can never be devoid of problems. But, their focus on God becomes so unwavering – that neither the size nor the nature of any difficulty can affect them. They remain calm, because they know that the True ‘doer’ alone has the power to remove their suffering.

For such people, a deep understanding of God’s teachings makes them aware of the importance of discarding their ego and walking away from arguments, heated debates, and needless discussions. For they know that in a war of ego, the ‘loser’ is often the true ‘winner’. They understand that for the peace of their mind, it is better to borrow the characteristics of a tree — one that quietly sheds its dead leaves and focuses only on bearing fresh leaves and fruits again. In other words — it is best to let bygones be bygones.

It is equally important to understand that even altercations, misunderstandings and differences of opinion occur – only by God’s will — and He alone knows why they had to happen.

“जीवन की परेशानियाँ, कठिनाइयाँ हमें ‘अशांत’ करती हैं…” Peace, does not refer to a complete absence of troubles — but is felt as the presence of God – within one’s heart and mind.

Complete surrender and unwavering faith in God – erase the fear of uncertainty, remove the burden of doubt and unworthiness, and give us the strength to let go of the past and walk peacefully towards a better tomorrow.

Swamij ji said…

We wake up every morning with a mission in our mind; a goal to be accomplished; a dream to be fulfilled — and many a time, when we are right at the threshold of attaining that objective; realising our purpose – which appears to be very much “within our grasp” at that moment – it seems to fall apart the very next moment, leaving us dumbfounded, heartbroken, and extremely distressed and dejected.

At other times, something happens that we least expected. Something that rudely jolts us, scares us, and takes the wind out of our sails. What follows is deep despair. The mind, in fear, is unable to fathom what is happening. One feels completely numb. It appears as though what has now happened will forever stay with us and will always be on our minds. One is convinced that one’s life has been altered in such a way that there is no possibility of there being any happiness in it – ever again. But that is never really true.

‘Time’ takes its own ‘time’, but, changes everything – at the right time; at the moment destined for the change to happen. Little by little, inch by inch – that significant change occurs in our lives. And what seemed implausible before – lies right before our eyes – as ‘proof’. Pain recedes and is replaced by joy. Hope gradually overcomes fear. The immovable mountain that seemed to stand in our way is now behind us.

“स्वयं समय में ही इतनी शक्ति है कि वह ग़म को खुशी में; हार को जीत में; उदासी को खुशहाली में; हँसी को रोने में — अगले क्षण में ही बदल सकता है…”

And it is this singular, significant, and exclusive feature that time possesses – which has never been comprehended by God’s most intelligent creation — man. His arrogance, sense of superiority, and habit of overriding others – can only be silenced and subjugated completely – by the stronghold and absolute control that time exerts on him – as and when it feels the need to do so.

It is the situation and circumstance that time places us in, that finds us either exhilarated or dejected; gloomy or happy; positive or negative. But, the most amazing and mystifying quality of time is that – bad days will most certainly see the light of good days – one fine day; days of sadness will lead to days of merriment; and months of repeated failure will see monumental success one fine day.

So, it is ‘time’ alone that has the power to wound as well as to heal us; to give a disease and to cure. But what does this mean for us? What message does it carry?

To the spiritual seeker, this means only one thing : to have faith in all kinds of situations. What exists today — be it good or bad — will not be there tomorrow. Nothing is permanent, even though it might appear so. In good times, one is often acutely aware of this, praying that the good times last. But they never do.

In bad times, however, one seems to believe that the situation one is in will never change. But that too is never true.

With a little reflection, we will realise this – to be true. But it is when we internalise this lesson that we are able to live life better. For those who realise, see and feel the power of time- they are never too bothered by their circumstances today. They neither rejoice at good tidings excessively , nor, mourn in grief too bitterly. They are acutely aware that change is bound to happen,and, they thus act accordingly.

What matters, thus, is to keep moving forward in life. Life might trip us up today, but we must get up and continue, for it could only mean that we might ‘now’ be on time – for something great ‘later’.

Time teaches us the value of patience. It teaches us that patience does not mean slowing down, but, rather accepting and waiting for change to happen at the right time. It teaches us that today is only fleeting and does not necessarily have much say in how tomorrow will be. And, all we can do is our best and leave the rest to God.

In the Ramayana, Lord Ram’s life is an enlightening example of this. From a prince in a palace- to a warrior roaming the forests- and then to be crowned the King of Ayodhya- time placed him in circumstances that would have been impossible to discern- from any moment in the past.

Time heals all, time creates all, time erodes all, and finally, time reveals all. Thus, we all must strive to keep our faith in ‘time’ as- ‘समय’ हमेशा बदलता है और ज़रूर बदलेगा…”