Dedicated to Swamiji Ajay Jain ji

Swami ji said…

“हमें बातें करने में, बोलने में, बहुत मज़ा आता है..!” Isn’t that so? We love to talk. Chatter. Have long conversations. Gossip. State our opinion on everything possible. Get into lengthy debates— to prove a point to others— as to who is right— and naturally, it always has to be us. We dislike losing in any round of a conversation- as we feel we can never be at a loss of words.

Strangely, we make it a point to know about what is going on in other people’s lives and pass our judgement on what is right or wrong in their lives— even when no one has sought our verdict. Also, some of us could be so gifted with the art of speech that we could speak endlessly and needlessly- even at the cost of irritating others.

Perhaps the need within some of us to express ourselves clearly- and to let others know what we think of them- is so powerful that, like a steamroller, we let out all that is within us— without thinking of the consequences that our hurtful words could have on the other person… “कयोंकि हम सोचते हैं कि हमारा दूसरों को उनके बारे में सब कुछ साफ़ तरह से बोलना अत्यंत आवश्यक है, हम मुँहफट हो जाते हैं…हम यह भूल जाते हैं कि वही शब्द जो हम सबको जोड़ सकते हैं, वे एक पल में रिश्तों को तोड़ भी सकते हैं…”

Why is it so difficult for us to understand the essence of the proverb- “Silence is golden”? Wouldn’t it be better for us to remain silent during moments when we are needled the most by others, picked on deliberately by someone, in order to get an angry reaction from us— when we might just erupt like a volcano and let angry and disrespectful words flow out, unabated, which would later fill us with regret for having said them? Or should we choose to maintain a stoic silence in the face of repeated attempts by others to provoke us and draw an angry response from us?

In the end, it is completely up to us to tide over the most delicate moments in our lives by either wearing a cloak of silence—that earns us respect— instead of resorting to words and speech that could later fill us with regret.

“जब हम समझ जाते हैं कि चुप रहने में ही हमारी भलाई है…”— it is then that we start thinking before we speak. “Do I really need to say what I’m about to say?”— we think twice before saying anything untoward to anyone.
“Would it be better if I refuse to take the bait, remain nonchalant, and treat the matter as one that did not warrant an agitated response from my end ?” “Won’t I gain more— “अगर मैं ऐसे क्षणों में चुप रहूँ और मौन धारण कर लूँ ?”- we remind ourselves and thus are able to control our words from spilling out unnecessarily.
Conquering that ‘difficult’ moment by exercising restraint is better than entering a phase of self- reproach and accuse ourselves later- “मैंने ऐसे क्यों बोल दिया उस समय?” “He must be feeling so bad about the rude manner in which I spoke to him…”

The very thought of it fills us with contrition. But, words, once said, cannot be taken back— and to what effect? Our harsh words will obviously pierce the mind and heart of the other person.

A spiritual seeker understands the importance of weighing his words carefully – before giving them a sound. He knows that- “जिस तरह से धनुष से निकला बाण कभी वापस नहीं आ सकता है – उसी तरह हम अपने बोले हुए शब्द वापस नहीं ले सकते हैं…” – so why should we speak just for the sake of speaking. He knows that the energy that would be wasted by him while indulging in nonsensical chatter, could be conserved and utilised for his spiritual furtherance. In what way would he benefit by being malicious and deliberately hurt people with mean, vengeful words? He would only be accumulating bad ‘ karma’ by nurturing ill-will against others- he reminds himself. He knows that God would be happier to see him ‘heal’ others with his warm and comforting silence- instead of ‘hurting’ them in any way- through any word or action of his- which could fill him with remorse later.

Swami ji said …

“मुझे पूरा विश्वास है कि भगवान हमारे साथ अच्छा करेंगे…” “ईश्वर जो भी करेंगे, अच्छे के लिए ही करेंगे…” Words such as these, spoken by many, ring out around us, expressing a deep conviction and abiding faith in God’s divine yet fascinatingly mysterious way of reflecting upon and planning out the minutest details of our lives- for us.

And, yet, we begin every new day of our lives feeling secure, as we do, in the warm comfort of having ‘planned’ out everything for the day — ‘ourselves’- “I will do this first… then that…” – we mutter— all the while feeling rather pleased with our meticulous planning and, most of all, with the heady sense of power it gives us: that we, too, are able to exercise ‘some’ control over ‘our’ lives.

But, if , we were genuinely wise— or even merely smart— it should not take us too long to understand that- “ऊपर बैठा वह नीली छतरीवाला मंद-मंद मुस्कुरा रहा होगा हमारा बचपना देखकर …” And, yet, with an indulgent smile, He allows us those little moments of conceit for a short while- before, almost mischievously, turning the day upside down in the most unexpected manner- making it abundantly clear to us as to ‘Who’ is truly in control.

The bleakest of days, filled with uncertainties and insecurities, can be sailed across by us when we are certain that, since He is our constant companion our’ कर्ता-धर्ता’ He alone will enable us to survive the stormy tide and make us witness, once again, the sunrise—filled with hope, promise and new beginnings.

Once we understand that God seeks nothing from us- except unswerving faith in His pure intent for us— as it is He who directs us, supports us and empowers us to attain the goal that ‘He Himself ‘ has set for us— we gradually develop a sense of complete surrender to His love.

The most difficult days, which we once thought would never see closure, soon appear to be nothing more than a distant memory when, all of a sudden, He seems to settle the dust and brings forth days that once again echo with smiles and the sounds of laughter.

On seeing His child stand firm— filled with faith and devotion towards Him— even through the most traumatic days of his life, He rewards him by opening a new path before him, one about which he had been completely clueless earlier. And, then, as he walks upon this unexpected path, he is left wondering at the marvels that His Grace can create for him.

The spiritual seeker must imbibe within himself this spirit of surrender to God. Every action must be performed with a sense of purpose, but, with the belief that however the day unfolds— and however life unfolds— is ultimately what is most suited to him. Even the bad, the supposed ‘worst’ that happens in life, may prove to be just as consequential and important as the ‘best’ of things that happen to us.

This is, of course, always easier said than done. But, as with most good habits, this way of life— this approach towards life— also needs to be developed through practice and patience. Life will keep challenging our faith and our belief in God. But it is important to hold on.

One must learn to face negative thoughts and feelings by simply acknowledging them for what they are— passing emotional states of the mind and heart that can be overcome. Thoughts and feelings are impermanent. One must not allow the soul to become embroiled in them, but, must instead observe them quietly and allow them to melt away.

Regular self-reflection and meditation are needed to develop the mental strength and inner steadiness required to withstand the great multitude of emotions that constantly seek to sway us away from a balanced and centred state of mind.

Practising gratitude for whatever we have today- drives away the feelings of ‘loss’ that so often haunt us and makes us realise that merely having been given this day is, in itself, a miracle.

By looking beyond ourselves and sympathising with, and relating to, the troubles of others, we are also able to develop a more balanced perspective of our own lives. We begin to realise that problems and troubles are a ‘feature’ of life— that they will always present themselves in one form or another, and that no one is left completely untouched by them.

Such an understanding gradually drives away the thought that we are somehow ‘unlucky’ or ‘unfavoured by God’.

It is only when we sincerely inculcate such practices in our lives- that we begin to realise the futility of worry and the immense power that comes from being able to live free from the fear of uncertainty.

And, perhaps that is the way He wishes us to live— placing all our worries at His feet, while continuing to perform our duties with sincerity; trusting His plan without demanding that we understand it; and going through life with a heart that remains lively, grateful and joyous. We need to always remember that- “दुनिया के सारे लोग चाहें हमारा साथ छोड़ दें, पर भगवान हमेशा हमारे पास रहते हैं, हमारे साथ रहते हैं…”

Swami ji said…

So caught up are we in the scintillating lights of the world—”दुनिया की चकाचौंध में, नाम, इज़्ज़त और सम्मान पाने में…”—that their brightness stimulates us and drives us to sparkle and shine brighter than our peers or colleagues in the field chosen by us. We put in endless hours to succeed and earn recognition. And why not, we may say, for nothing is sweeter than success? After all, the mind thrives on meeting success.

The riches of this world beckon us to work hard, put in long hours, and sacrifice enjoyment today in order to have a better tomorrow. We have unending thoughts about how to achieve success, how to become richer, and how to obtain more. This often leads to anxiety—a constant gnawing at one’s mind about the future. But we happily and willingly undergo all the stress that comes in this quest – as we have decided to be better than the best- ” किसी भी कीमत पर…”

Then there are our emotional needs. The heart longs for us to be loved, cared for and thought of by others. We want to feel important to people. We want to feel that we are a part of others’ lives. When we do not find this to be so, we are driven to grief and anger.

Life is such that no two days can ever be the same. What we enjoy today may not seem adequate tomorrow— be it material things or relationships. One cannot, and should not, hope to find perpetual happiness in physical things or even in people. The circumstances that satisfy us today might make us feel uncomfortable tomorrow. The people who love us today might hurt us tomorrow. That is the nature of life. Its uncertainty is, in fact, the only constant. But, the heart continues to sing a different tune- “क्योंकि उसे अपनी ही धुन में चलने की आदत है..” – as it is confident of receiving love from everyone and everything good from life. Things can never go wrong for it- as all it seeks is love and affection from others- which should not be difficult for others to give it- it feels.

But, since the ‘heart’ and ‘mind’ blind us and distract us from the real truth- the ‘soul’— the real ‘we’— suffers in such circumstances. The soul cannot experience peace- if one is caught in this constant flow of varying emotions and tumultuous thoughts that induce them.

One needs to ask oneself every single day : “When does one’s duty towards this physical realm end, and when must one begin to look within, pay attention to the ‘self’, and take stock of one’s ‘real’ condition?”
Is the soul dragging itself along, carrying the burden of guilt over one’s actions, the grief of the past, and resentment towards others? Is there no calmness or peace within- that can be drawn upon to steady oneself in moments that are otherwise confusing and confounding? Is there no reservoir of patience within- that allows one to let go of the struggles and failures of today and look forward to tomorrow with hope? Is there no tranquility that allows one to forgive the trespasses of others and love them nonetheless? If the answers to these questions increasingly become ‘no’, it means that we are losing the plot. It means that we are unbalanced in our approach to life and are denying ourselves spiritual growth and strength. It means that, instead of engaging wisely with this illusory world, we are completely enamoured of and subsumed by it.

There can be no spiritual development if we pursue only worldly pleasures. The satisfaction of the body, the intellect, and the mind is not to come at the expense of one’s spiritual growth; rather, it must be used to enable it. Even a monk has to satiate his hunger in order to focus his thoughts on God. However, the same monk cannot allow- the taste of delicious food and the desire to consume it- to distract him from his spiritual practices. The solution is thus not to abandon this world – but to rather walk through it without abandoning oneself to it. That is the very balance that we, too, must seek in our lives – giving significance to the fact that we are accountable to our soul too- and that since- “हमारी आत्मा को शांति, पवित्रता, निर्मलता और स्वच्छता चाहिए…” – we should ensure that we do not indulge in any ‘karma’ that can corrupt it, scar it or make it impure- making it next to impossible for us to merge with our Creator- ever.

Swami ji said…

A monk who had renounced all family ties and material attachments, and had immersed himself completely in spiritual life, was once consumed by a desire to ‘understand’ the meaning of life.

Intrigued by the mysterious nature of life, he sought answers to his questions by reading as many scriptures as he could, along with other sacred treatises that he felt might answer his query. However, after many years of reading, the only answer left to him was:

“Life cannot be understood…”

This should convince us, at least to some extent, that- “जब हम अपने जीवन के रहस्य की गुत्थी को नहीं सुलझा सके हैं, तो हम उस नीली छतरीवाले के खेल को कैसे समझ सकते हैं…”

And this is exactly what He expects from us— His children— who are often heard complaining to others about their family members or friends that- “मैं उसको समझ नहीं पाता हूँ…”

When we find it difficult to understand them, will we not once again find ourselves at a similar crossroad, facing the same question- “जब हम अपने रिश्तेदारों और घरवालों को समझ नहीं पाते हैं, तब हम ईश्वर को कैसे समझेंगे…”

In His wisdom, and with love for all His creations, He has always maintained:
“उनकी लीला वही जानें…”

For the spiritual seeker, it is important to understand that life will unfold as it is meant to. God is not to be held responsible for what happens to us, for what we experience today is only the result of our own past ‘karma’.

It is futile to try to reason with God or to be angry with Him because of our circumstances. The idea that one might be able to discover, “What is God thinking?”- is both futile and unnecessary.

This is because the mind believes that it knows how life should unfold for us. However, that assumption itself is flawed. The complexity of life and the manner in which events occur cannot be fathomed by the human mind. It is, therefore, a wasted effort for the mind – to even attempt to understand the divine reasoning behind anything that happens with us at any moment in our life.

What is essential is that we place our faith in the Almighty’s plan. Ask God not for the ability to look into the future, but for the wisdom to know the best way to act correctly, honestly and nobly during every moment in life.

“Do not question what is happening to you. Instead, ask yourself what you must do to ensure that your actions remain right and principled.”

This is possible only when we trust God. It is only when such faith develops that we begin to control our actions- instead of trying to control our circumstances.

When we place our trust in God, we begin to look inwards instead of constantly looking at the world around us. We remain undisturbed by what is happening outside and become more conscious of what is happening within.

Trust in God’s plan for us makes us more focused on our own thoughts and actions. It helps us improve our ‘karma’ and, thereby, improve our lives- secure in His warm, embrace that- ” जब ‘दुख’ में और ‘सुख’ में वो हर क्षण हमारे साथ हैं, तो चिंता किस बात की ? “

Swami ji said …

“Do not judge a book by its cover”- is a saying- often used to remind us- that the first impression we form of someone may not always be correct. And, human beings are far more complex and profound than mere books! It is often not possible to recognise their potential, gifts and values even after spending considerable time with them.

Many a time, we make assumptions about others. We form opinions based on various factors—sometimes on their appearance, sometimes on the way they speak, sometimes on the way they dress, their professions, and so on. It is a natural exercise of the intellect. The mind creates filters and categorises people. Accordingly, we decide whether they are important to us or not.

This is not something to be ashamed of. It is often a practical way of dealing with society.
However, this does not mean that such ‘filtering’ should be adhered to in heart and soul.

After all, even the society around us is merely “माया”. Someone who is important today- may become inconsequential tomorrow in the eyes of society, and, vice versa. It is all a result of ‘karma’.

The absolute truth is- that we are all equal. Irrespective of our circumstances, no one is more important than another in the eyes of God. And that, even though it may seem difficult to believe, is what truly matters.This is what we, too, must realise and internalise.
Everyone we meet and interact with- is just as special as anyone else. We can learn a great deal from each one’s experiences and wisdom- irrespective of what they look like, how they dress or where they work.

If we are willing to remove the tinted glasses of class, stature and status that distort our vision and conceals the true image of our fellow beings- we will realise that everyone has something immense to contribute. Through the smallest of actions and the simplest of words, they can teach us invaluable lessons about life.

Appearances can be deceptive. But, we are so greatly enamoured by the ‘suits and boots’ of the rich and famous people- that in our eyes they can never do anything wrong- while a scruffy looking person- can never do anything right and we write him off immediately.

We never know—our bias towards one’s colour and background- could be preventing us from making a wonderful friend. We may not be paying attention to someone who does not ‘look’ wise- but regularly offers pearls of wisdom while interacting with others. It is also possible that someone could be warning us of an impending peril, but, because the person appears too plain and simple for our liking, we fail to heed his warning- smirking- ” ये बेवकूफ, नासमझ इंसान मेरे कल के बारे में क्या बताएगा ?”

Those on the spiritual path already know this. In fact, it is something they can ignore only at their own peril. Often, God communicates with us through others. The most impactful words, the most touching actions and the most inspiring suggestions—all these come from Him, with the people around us serving as His medium.

It is, therefore, important to keep one’s eyes and ears open. Those seeking enlightenment must remove from their hearts and minds all unfounded prejudice and intolerance, and look upon everyone around them as their brethren— the children of God.

It takes effort to understand those who are dissimilar to us. However, it is necessary, to respect the differences between us and others- if, we seek to develop spiritually. People are diverse in their characteristics, but, ultimately, they are quite alike.

Everyone’s experiences and perspectives must be considered. That is how we can truly expand our horizons and understand others better. It is also how we come to understand ourselves better.
There is a curious truth about life: the more we accept people who are different from us- the more we allow ourselves to grow and develop. We must remember-” ‘ईश्वर’ राजा और रंक को एक ही नज़र से देखते हैं…”