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Swami ji said…

Who doesn’t like to be praised ? Words of praise and appreciation are always music to the ears. In the days of old, kings and queens loved to hear poems and songs sung in their praise. Today, people crave attention and appreciative words lauding them on social media.The idea that one is admired and appreciated gives anyone a huge boost of confidence. It is thus, but, natural to look kindly upon anyone who praises us. We feel that they must think well of us and must be fond of us.

‘ हम मे से ऐसा कौन है जो अपनी तारीफ सुनना पसंद नही करता ?’ Nothing sounds sweeter than congratulatory and complimentary words commending us on our innovations , success and accomplishments. The frisson of happiness that courses through our being on being lauded and applauded ; on hearing us being praised, should not make us oblivious to the stark difference between – praise and flattery.

But, it is when we begin to confuse flattery with praise that we walk on a perilous path of self-destruction. The ego always lets us believe that we are perfect; so hearing words describing our greatness and goodness also validates our ego in its false beliefs. It is thus crucial for us to be self aware and not be swayed by adulation and applause given to us.

If ever, we reach a point in time, when on getting accustomed to hearing words praising us – we fail to distinguish between those … ‘जो हमारी ‘तारीफ’ करते हैं …और जो हमारी ‘चमचागिरी’ या ‘खुशामद’ करते हैं … we , must , during such times, remember and remind ourselves – ‘तारीफ़’ इन्सान के ‘काम’ की होती है, परन्तु चमचागिरी या ‘ख़ुशामद’
होती है उस इन्सान की जो ‘हमारे काम’ आ सकता है।’ Flatterers should have no place in our lives and should always be kept at an arm’s distance…’ऐसे लोगों से दूरी बनाए रखो…’ Will we know our worth only on hearing others glorify us in honeyed, ingratiating tones? Don’t we realise that those who flatter us – fool us, make the most of the ‘weakness’ in us – for their vested interests. A clear signal should be conveyed to flatterrers – stating sternly – ‘ Flattery will get them nowhere ! ‘

A self-aware individual is aware of his own strengths and weaknesses. He does not need to be told what he is good at and what he needs to improve on – but a person who is solely reliant on others for understanding himself – is at peril of being misled and taken advantage of.

Unfortunately, praise, which should be used only for genuinely appreciating others, is often used as currency for gaining favour with others. Ill – intentioned people often prey upon other’s weakness of low self-belief or of an inflated ego by speaking false words of reverence and adoration. Such people try to gain others’ confidence and trust, and then hope to control them and puppeteer them for their own ambitions and advantage.

We must thus always be on guard, and , not be affected by acclaim and approval. We must be humble in our success and not be carried away by words of flattery. By maintaining such a dememanour it becomes clear to all that we are highly self-assured and their sugar coated words will get them nowhere.

But all praise is not ill – intended. Even our loved one’s praise and admire us for who we are, and , yet it is this praise that quite often can be most harmful for us. For many a times, it is our family and close ones who are unable to see any wrong in us and place us on a pedestal. Out of love for us they only speak of our goodness and in turn lead us to believe that we are just as great as they see us. Yet, this is not their fault but our own. It is we who must be self-critical enough to see this and simply acknowledge their love for us.

Regular self-reflection and meditation make us acutely aware of who we are. We have a clear understanding of who we are and are thus unaffected by adulation and admiration.

Swami ji said …

“Time flies by and quite a many of us have been fortunate enough to have seen days and months ; years and decades pass by – each year leaving behind its indelible imprint on us, embedded for ever in our memory , and , all that is needed – is an instant to recall – what a particular year had brought to us , taught us. Lady luck could have favoured us greatly during a certain time period, giving us many a reason to smile – and, in contrast – unforgettable grief laden, tearful close encounters with unexpected, unfavourable developments like disease and death could have loomed large over a few years of our life.

But, then, this is the unique , mysterious element of time! Its colour and nature changes as swiftly as the manner in which it flies off the calendar. One quality that none of us can take away from each new day that we are lucky enough to see – is the ray of hope , positivity and optimism that it holds for us…giving us an opportunity to achieve all that our heart is set on…and in case the day closes on a dissatisfactory note … the thought of a new day – a new tomorrow filled with possibilities… fills us with hope once again.

And, staying true to the nature of closure – that ‘days’ and ‘time’ maintain on a daily , monthly or yearly basis…it is time once again to draw the curtains on yet another year. A year gone by, much like many years of the past, that must have brought in its fair share of smiles and tears; ups and downs; profit and loss; accomplishments and failures.The distinctive developments of the past year – pale in comparison – to the promise of new hopes, new aspirations, fresh resolutions and new beginnings that the onset of a new year brings with it. It is as though we pin all our hopes, including the long lost ones – on the incoming year and promise ourself that we will outclass and excel ‘ourselves’ in every possible way in the New Year…and we begin to add impetus , with great gusto , to the new resolutions in our mind as we long to see them bear fruit.

And to a certain extent … why not? Because that is what a New Year is all about…when we are enthused to turn things around for ourselves in the coming year; determined to learn from the experience of our past mistakes; to transform past disappointments into future triumphs. All this sounds good when said aloud and looks good on paper but a final shape…’ नए साल की उम्मीद और कोशिशों को रूप देने की क्षमता हम पर निर्भर करती हैं…’

The onus of not letting down the shine and sparkle of the resolutions and promises made in the frenzy of the dawn of a New Year rests completely on us…as once we promise to start afresh – we must stay focussed, fiercely determined and inspired to stay on course – so that on meeting our target – we can turn back and say victoriously … ‘ I did it !’ Belief , faith in ourselves , in our capabilities , in our resolve , in not hunting for lame excuses to give up at the first signs of fatigue – can act as milestones, as these alone can make us go from strength to strength , year after year. Furthermore our self belief and faith should be further strengthened in attaining the unattainable, when a saccha ‘sant ‘, a self realised ‘guru’, says with confidence and sincerity … ‘Sab achcha hoga…Main har pal tumhaare saath hoon… Tum chinta kyun karte ho ? ‘

Swami ji said …

Our fascination and obsession with everything expensive and exclusive that our eyes rest on – is clearly visible – as our talks and thoughts are dominated by ways and means of acquiring and possessing them. The more valuable and bankable our assets turn out to be and the weightier our bank statements – greater seems to be our sense of contentment and happiness then. We move around complacently like a Cheshire cat , twirl our mustaches and rub our hands in glee on acquiring the most expensive clothes, fancy cars and luxurious
condominiums. Any expensive item has to barely make its entry in the market – and we make a beeline towards it. ‘ I simply have to own this ‘ – we promise ourselves. The adrenaline rush that we experience while being surrounded by top brands – makes us drift away from
‘reality’ – which tries to remind us time and time again – to value the present moment… हमारा ‘वर्तमान’ – as ‘it’ alone is most expensive and valuable. No amount of money, power or penance can buy back our present time. We thus need to make our present relevant, meaningful and exemplary – without reflecting too much on the past and getting knotted up about the future.

‘ जीवन की चमक धमक मे हम यह भूल गए हैं कि, जीवन की सबसे महँगी चीज़ हमारा वर्तमान है …जो एक बार चला जाता है तो फिर सारे जग की संपत्ति भी उसे खरीद नहीं सकती है।’

The choice is ours – to either understand the immense value of every second that we are fortunate enough to breathe and witness – हमारे वर्तमान मे – by drawing a balance between ‘duties’ and ‘enjoyment’ and do so with equal joy – all the while surrendering to God’s will – or
waste away the precious seconds only in ‘sense’ gratification and pleasure – all this while the needles of the clock tick away unsparingly ; with frightful unbroken
regularity – leaving us to live in regret and repentance for the remaining days of our life – for wasting a life that could have been lived well.

The ‘time’ which truly belongs to us is the present time – now – for the better or worse. Unceasing tears and tension for ‘tomorrow’ ; the next day or the days ahead , which honestly are not guaranteed to us – but , of which strangely, we are very certain will most definitely be seen by us – in many ways take away the joy of the present moment. Although we live in the present time – we seem to constantly plan only for our future. Wouldn’t this style of functioning affect us in the present time ? Burn us out early ; tire us ; overload us and make us unhealthy in the present time ?

Quite a many of us show no hesitation in postponing our spiritual journey for a later day and ‘age’ – as we are petrified of the do’s and dont’s that this journey might entail. Why should we not begin to walk the path of self – discovery immediately and experience personally the wondrous beauty of spirituality , gain proximity to God and ‘Guru’? We create our own destiny every day we live – and thus live each day as if it were our last – to be better than we were the previous day ; have the courage to acknowledge our imperfections and work on them in the ‘present’ time on a regular basis – be aware of every deed, thought and action of ours, as we are accountable for our ‘karma’ and
brick by brick lay the foundation of a ‘nek ‘वर्तमान’ – as it is the ‘present’ which should matter the most to us at any given time.

Swami ji said …

God has been worshipped by man in some form or another ever since his evolution. Right since ancient time, mankind has always acknowledged that – a divine force – powerful and all pervasive has always been watching over us – and, to whom we would be accountable, to , in the end. Different people practiced different ways of worship – some had very complex rituals, some prayed in the privacy of one’s personal space, while many others prayed together with their brethren. Yet, all these methods of worship, though very different in appearance and process, were borne of the same common need – to connect with God, to converse with God – straight from an honest , truthful heart. It was supposed to be as simple as this.

But being the way we are – prone to complicating matters – we have caused some dilemma and confusion by repeatedly asking ourselves and others – ‘भगवान की
पूजा कैसे करूं ?’ – an attempt by us , to find an answer , in fulfilling God’s expectations from us. We tend to forget that much like our parents, would God really expect anything from us ? We all have our fears and troubles, hopes and wishes – and it is through worship that we try to please God, appease Him , and even implore Him to provide us with guidance – मार्ग दर्शन. And, as long as we are true and good at heart, God shows us the way. Whether we have used an adequate number of decorative flowers ; burnt enough incense sticks or clothed His idol with rich robes and jewels – all this does not matter to Him. What matters to Him is the sincerity of our prayers.

God is neither transactional nor petty. He neither expects us to place a golden crown on His idol, nor does He look at us to provide Him with a roof over His head as shelter. He does not stand in judgement if we have a lesser number of fruits as an offering to Him. All He ever desires from us is love and goodness. So instead of worrying about whether we have prayed and worshipped Him correctly, it is more important to observe whether our prayers and thoughts are completely devoted to Him.

Rather than being adorned in gold by us , God would love to see His children perform ‘golden’ acts filled with kindness , love , happiness and compassion for others. ‘He’ would be happiest to see us lit with the radiance of sunny dispositions ; laughter and joy writ on our faces – blessed with the gift of smiling through adversities and day to day life’s challenges ; and above all be a reason for others to smile too. ‘His’ so called ‘expectations’ from us are few and meagre and this is one of the priceless traits that He would be happiest to see us possess and project.

Yes, we have rituals for a reason, and, it is important to follow them, but the success of worship lies not in only following and performing those rituals, but, in being able to concentrate on God for those few moments while offering prayers to Him. As long as we are able to truly surrender ourselves to God in prayer ; as long as we truly acknowledge that – it is only by His will and guidance, that we will be able to achieve – what we have set out to do – then, and only then, does worship attain its true meaning.

The only offering that God ever wants from us is that of love and kindness towards the world ; the only sacrifice He wants us to make is that of our ego and pride ; and the only words he wants to hear from us are those that are joyful and bring a smile to Him and His children. If we are able to do this, our worship will be perfect and our prayers shall always be answered.

Swami ji said …

The wheels of restlessness constantly turn within the mind – and they should,if, they were to do so in the pursuit of noble dreams or improvement of the self. But more often than not it is in – what the other is doing, what others are achieving that causes the brain cells to be ever active. An air of disquiet blows within us – fanning further anxiety, agitation and envy – as we see others do better than us.. ‘ऐसा लगता है जैसे हमें शांत रहना आता ही नहीं है और शायद हम शांत रहना भी नहीं चाहते…’

This narrow and closed mindset of ours – of never wishing well for others, lest, good things stop happening to us – can be nipped in the bud , if , rather than praying only for our personal, our family and loved ones’ welfare, we were to say a prayer for the welfare and upliftment of all – wish well for everyone around us, rise above our selfishness and bear love for all.

But how many of us can honestly say that we wish well for others? We wish the best for ourselves; pray that everything good happens with us – but make it a point to exclude others from it. Why are we so small hearted? What are we scared of? The solution to this is that we must realise and learn to truly believe that no one can take away what is destined to come our way, and that ‘Time’ – the greatest equaliser – will bring to us and give to us what belongs to us and what we deserve. Only then can we learn to be secure in our own skin and circumstances, and begin being happy in the happiness of others.

Freedom from insecurity and being able to rejoice in the success of others is only possible if we are honest at heart. To be able to recognise that someone has deservedly gained what they have received and to be able to celebrate that and take inspiration from that frees us from the futile and draining emotions of envy and jealousy. We must learn that everyone is truly equal in God’s eyes, and that our efforts will be equally rewarded. Feeling disgruntled at someone else’s happiness and success is a sign of weak character and a lack of belief in one’s own ability.

More often than not, we feel that others are lucky and favoured in life to receive what they get. We feel that they do not deserve the gifts they receive from God and that we have to struggle a lot more – even for less. Such thinking is incorrect. We refuse to believe that someone can work harder than us ; make bigger sacrifices than us to achieve what they have ! This is only a reflection of our own inability to push ourselves and inspire ourselves to work harder when we see others succeed.

Taking inspiration from success of others leads to success in our own endeavours.
Jealousy and resentment only lead to one’s downfall, as, one’s actions then onwards will always be misguided and ill-intended. Yes, it is important to compete and a healthy dose of competition does lead to excellence; but we must be wary of becoming envious of others, as it will simply rob us of our peace of mind. And , instead of reflecting on lines of our own self-improvement, we will be only scheming against others.

We must not forget how such a negative attitude led to Duryodhan’s downfall. Despite being a capable prince himself, he was always envious of the Pandavas and constantly plotted of depriving them of their right – to and in the kingdom. He was never at peace with himself and later in life lost everything while wishing ill for his brethren. What was the end result? The Pandavas finally got the kingdom that they had always deserved, whereas, Duryodhan on the other hand, lost all his brothers and his own life in the Battle of Kurukshetra.

Only those who are devoid of love for others – fail to rejoice in the achievements and happiness of others. We must change our mentality and instead of only saying – ‘mera mangal hoye’ – let us learn to say -‘ sabka mangal hoye…’ and we will gradually begin to feel a sense of peace pervade our being.

We must always remember – ‘ ‘शांति’ उसी समय से हमारे जीवन में प्रविष्ट हो जाती है , जिस समय से हमारा मन दूसरों के लिए शुभ सोचना प्रारम्भ कर देता है …’