Swami ji’s Sandesh … “एकता”

Swami ji said …

All of us have a common dream: to have a dream house of our own one day. It is not uncommon to hear people around us express this wish with longing and, at the same time, with a nervous hope that God will hear their appeal: “बस, एक अपना घर चाहिए…” “I will be the happiest- the day I have a house of my own…” “I am saving every penny to buy a house…”And, once the house is finally bought— after much financial planning, loans, and, at times, even after parting with precious assets to which deep emotions are attached— a ‘ गृह-प्रवेश पूजा’; a house-warming get-together is held to celebrate this milestone- in the life of an individual, a family, or a couple. During those auspicious moments, a prayer is on everyone’s lips, requesting God to bring peace, positivity, prosperity, good health, and harmony into the newly acquired house-“घर में, परिवार में प्रेम और एकता बनी रहे…” is what everyone asks for. This prayer beautifully sums up the sanctity and emotion of that cherished moment.

But, unfortunately, why is it that, as time passes- the genuine love, affection, and unity- very often begin to erode? Why do these emotions lose their significance and give way to friction, fractured relationships, and a lack of unity among family members?
How much time do we, at times, waste in allowing the devious mind to dance to discordant notes that are aimed at creating disunity within the family?

All of us know that a great deal of labour goes into constructing a house. It begins with clay, soil, and other materials being moulded into bricks. These bricks are then arranged, joined, and plastered to form walls. It is these solid and strengthened walls that enable a house to take proper shape.

All these inanimate, “lifeless” objects work in harmony, silently supporting one another — a shining example of the truth that “united we stand.”

And this is the lesson that should remain in our minds forever- once we move into the house: Come what may, “we” — each one of us— will stand by every member of our family through thick and thin. We will remain ever ready to support one another and will not allow any external factor to disunite us.

Brick by brick, our life is made. We must always remember that the solid foundation of sound principles and good character on which we stand today- is due, in no small measure, to the immense contribution of our family. And that- discord, disunity, constant verbal conflicts, and unending differences of opinion with our loved ones- can create cracks which, if, allowed to develop- may never be repaired.

The ‘ego’ often does not allow us to accept defeat in the verbal duels that we constantly wage with others – creating a negative environment in the house. It is, therefore, important to think of ways to bridge the gaps- that begin to emerge faster – than our attempts to seal them.

As spiritual seekers, we must understand that familial disharmony is a sign- that the mind has already created foes out of one’s own people. A spiritual seeker must remember that one’s family is just as human as anyone else, and, is therefore, bound to err and make mistakes.
Their mistakes, their words, and their actions are not to be held on to forever. The same principles of forgiveness, understanding, and unconditional love that we seek to apply to the world- must also be applied to them. Yes, angry words and regretful actions by family members can hurt more deeply, but, they are just as deserving of forgiveness and love as anyone else.

It is important, therefore, that we should always try to maintain an environment in which we use loving words and kind gestures, centred around honesty, while interacting with family members. Such an environment is conducive to developing mutual respect, fostering genuine interest in one another’s well-being, and making the family a tight-knit unit which, instead of challenging itself from within, faces all difficulties together- with strength and unity.

The epic- ‘महाभारत’ – is a profound teaching on this very truth — how nurturing feelings of hatred, injustice, and revenge can turn even brothers into enemies. And, even though God, in the form of Lord Krishna, was present among them, the Kauravas and the Pandavas were unable to reconcile and overcome their differences. Instead, they spilled each other’s blood.

This is a powerful lesson on how allowing ‘ego’ and ‘pride’ to go unchecked in family matters can lead to utter destruction and chaos. We may not have God ‘physically’ present among us, today, in the way Lord Krishna was present ‘then’, and, thus, it is incumbent upon us- to preserve the pillars on which the family stands.