‘Vibhajit nahi .. ekjutt raho’’

Swamiji says …

” Our family…’ humara parivaar, humara kutumb, humara ghar’ – our grandparents, parents, siblings, cousins and relatives- all mean the world to us, especially when we are young, and it is difficult to imagine a life without their loving and caring presence around us. Joyful sounds of pealing laughter and cheerful banter resound from homes – in which generations of family members live – as cousins play, fight and quarrel too. The concerned sound of elders rushing to help a child in pain, or a stern voice admonishing and counselling the younger children with concern, conveys the bond and love they have for one another. Happiness resides aplenty in such homes – and it too, in turn, derives immense pleasure in seeing members of a joint family, extending up to three to four generations, living together in an amiable and affectionate manner. ‘Humara parivar humari duniya hoti hai – humari prerna, humara sahara, humari shakti !’ ” Acceptance, understanding and respect – for one generation from the other, is all that is needed, for joint families to live together, without any acrimonious feelings of bitterness for each other…and even when such differences do arise, they are forgotten and buried very quickly !”

“We see and understand the world through the eyes of our elders. No one could be stronger than our grandparents and elders, for us, when we hold on to their comforting hand, soaking in the warm support and strength that it provides us with, unwilling to let it go at any cost. Our family is our lifeline, our pillar of trust and hope, and the mere thought of losing any one of our loved one, or separating from them, is unbearable to us. We dote on them; treasure every family member; remain insanely attached to them, and take great pride on being told that we are our parents carbon copies,and, mirror all that our family holds dear – good values and sound beliefs. We are genuinely happy as we have nothing to complain about and we are in a state of thankfulness to God for blessing us with a family like ours – where we are one close tightly knit unit, and always want to remain that way…and do not want anyone to untie those knots. Maybe, happiness too envies, just for a moment, the degree of happiness experienced by us, in sharing emotional bonds as strong as those that we share with our joint-family. We love them unconditionally and are convinced that we just can’t do without them.’

“Why is it then that a change – a transformation – takes place in our thought process as we grow up, evolve into adulthood ! Why do we baulk at the thought of being a part of a joint family? The family that was once our most cherished treasure seems to have lost some of its sheen for us, and the thought of sharing space with them… living in the same house with them is pure anathema for us. Relationships cease to matter. Memories of the happy, memorable past are erased quickly – and our new motto is ‘Divide and Rule’ – ‘Aur hum mein se kuch, jald se jald, ghar ka vibhajan kar dete hain! Kisi bhi cheez ka vibhajan jo karta hai, woh achcha nahi hai !’ ”

” Happiness too winces at this new, modern us, and tears well up in its eyes as it tries to understand the new life-style that we are very keen to adopt. Priorities change in a jiffy. We want to live independently – on our own, with just our spouse and children.To live as a nuclear family is our new dream. The lesser the number of people in the house, the better it would be, we convince ourselves. We are not bothered whether it is the right thing to do or not! ‘Gharon mein sab ko jod kar chalna chahiye! Jo anand joint – family mein rehna ka hai, woh anand akele rehne mein nahi hai!’”

“We might not admit it, but there is a certain beauty – a soothing calmness – in having elders around us in our home; to receive their blessings as they place their hands on our head…’Badon ka haath humare sar par rehta hai!’ Much as we may avoid seeking their advice, and adhering to their words of wisdom, we cannot deny that they are more experienced than us, and that we could gain a lot by taking a leaf or two out of their rich and vast experience…’Unka tajurba, experience, jo unki umar ke saath aaya hai woh bilkul hi alag hota hai aur woh hummey raasta dikhate hain!’”

“Times of duress and difficulty are easier to handle in a joint-family, when the entire family stands by us – united, shoulder to shoulder. Agonising moments of hardships are tided over with comparative ease with their reassuring support …’ ‘Dukh – sukh’ ke samay mein saara parivar ekjutt ; saath khada ho jaata hai, nahi toh koi dekhne wala nahi hota, aur hum akele padh jaate hain!’ The reading of scriptures by the elders of the house; the counting of beads on their rosary… the reminder that the ‘diya’ has to be lit and prayers are to be said at a particular time – ‘ ‘Bhagwaan’ ka naam lena, unka simran karna aur ‘Bhakti’ ki neki se hummey jod te hain, avagat karatey hain !’ ”

” Nothing is more meaningful and important than maintaining healthy family ties. Every attempt should be made to ensure that our home remains an undivided house. The first thought of breaking filial relationships should be nipped in the bud immediately. Generation next needs to know that life is not only about receiving education in the best educational environment, but to be also acquainted with our past ‘parampara’, ‘ sabhyata’ – of living happily in a joint family aur – ‘Jo parivaar ko jod kar chalta hai, woh aagey tak ke liye achcha karta hai!”’