Month: May 2020

Swamiji says …

“At times, I ponder, whether we, as individuals, have given life its due, tried to understand its unpredictable nature – abounding with blessings and grace one moment, and bearing tragic tidings the very next; but, at the same time endowing us with a silent strength, to face completely contrasting occurrences, on a daily basis, with fortitude. Do we realise how fortunate we are to be blessed with the greatest gift of all – to be born as a human being – ‘manushya yoni mein janam lene ke liye’? But are we anywhere close to underlining and understanding the real purpose for which God infused life – ‘prana’ into our being?”

“And what have we been doing? We have taken our life for granted; certain that we will live for eternity, and can live life the way we want to, without any restrictions and inhibitions ; and, not only are we very happy with ourselves, but also with the course that our life has taken. So pleased are we with everything around us, and the ‘perfect’ beings that we have turned out to be, that we forget how essential it is for us to regularly analyse ourselves critically, in order to work on our shortcomings, and evolve into better human beings. ‘What kind of an individual am I! ‘ Humara aacharan kaisa hai?! ‘ – is a moot point on which we should deliberate very often! ‘Am I succeeding in winning people over with my polite and caring behaviour? Do I form an emotional connect with them immediately? Or do I come across as rude and arrogant that makes people avoid me? ‘ – are questions that each one of us needs to ask ourselves, and listen to that inner voice which doesn’t lie and always presents an unpretentious, clear cut impression of ours, to us. The fact whether God would be happy or unhappy on hearing the conclusion drawn by our inner voice – about our behaviour – ‘aacharan’ – should serve as a check point for us.”

” ‘Humara vyavhaar aur bartaav doosron ke saath kaisa hai ? ‘ – needs to be answered honestly by us. Do we respect the divinity existing in ‘others’ around us and behave in a respectful and refined manner with them? Or do we walk all over them, hurting them with words of insult and humiliation? Believe me, nothing goes unnoticed by Him and He will laud us in His own way for being sensitive to the emotions and needs of others or censure us for disregarding others!”

” There is no denying the fact that we have changed, and rather than being in a state of eternal gratitude to Him for the life that He has gifted us with, we have become heady with the power that life has given us, and may have stopped taking His name with the same faith and fervour that we had done earlier ! What will be the result of behaviour as selfish as this? Will God allow us anywhere close to Him with an attitude as overbearing and egoistic as this?”

“Do we responsibly and worthily bear the trust that God has reposed in us, by shaping us as human beings? Can we distinguish between good and bad, right and wrong; respect the ‘principled and virtuous life’- ‘aur apna aacharan aisi achchi values par base kar sakte hain?’ Do we try to stay connected with Him by thanking Him for His mercies ; by feeling that we are serving Him while performing our duties ; letting Him know that our aim is to keep Him seated in our heart forever and that we will carry and conduct ourselves in a manner befitting; one that will make Him proud of us as – ‘Achcha aacharan insaan ko Ishwar ke pass le jata hai!’ ”

“Are we worthy representations of the time and energy that has been invested in us, by our parents, in trying to raise us on an unshakeable, concrete base of good ‘sanskars’, sound values and beliefs? We are what we think; and it is the quality of the thoughts that we allow to mushroom in our mind, that mould, shape, and make us what we are finally. Good, healthy, positive thoughts of serving others selflessly, ‘sacche aur nek raaste par chalna…’ make us better human beings, and we remain absorbed in performing rituals in His honour and glory in the beginning, which later leads us towards the spiritual path. Remember – ‘Humein apna aacharan achcha rakhna chahiye!’ – as our nature, behaviour and temperament is an indicator of our thoughts and values.What could be more rewarding than leading a principled, uncomplicated life – which has a clear direction and a specific purpose – a life wherein, apart from successfully shouldering our responsibilities in all fields of life, we also worship Him regularly and remain devoted to Him throughout ! ”

” ‘Ishwar’ has nothing to do with one’s physical appearance. All that He is looking for is a pure, kind, sympathetic heart, devoid of pretence and artificiality – a heart that longs for Him and ultimately wants to merge with Him. As it is,
real beauty is not in the face, but compassion in the soul, and athough one is unable to capture this beauty in a camera, it can be easily felt and understood by others.Beauty fades into insignificance, if the treatment meted to others, inferior to these beautiful people is condescending and condemnable.No one wishes to be illtreated and be a victim of the other’s varying tantrums ; sweet and sugar one minute, waspish the very next – ‘Bura aacharan sab cheezon ko khatam kar deta hai ! ‘ It destroys us, our relationships, when it realizes that its negative traits have gnawed at the core of our being and we were too weak to thwart them – ‘aur phir woh deemak ki tarah insaan ko kha jaata hai , khatam kar deta hai!’ On the other hand, each time we do a good deed that touches the heart and soul of those around us, we succeed in pushing the darkness a little further and bring in the light of hope and good will. God, too, rejoices on seeing His children behave with the grace and dignity that He had expected from them and rewards them by absorbing them in His divine light.”

Swamiji says ….

” ‘Jeevan’, life – is a kaleidoscope of colours – at times, vibrant, bright and luminous; but dull, dark and grey the very next. It periodically makes us taste flavours – both bitter and sweet ; intoxicates us with the sweet fragrance of pleasure and joy, and then wakes us up from utopia, by emitting pungent smells, disliked and undesired by us – in the form of difficult situations. Life is a book, the chapters of which have a title, but its pages are to be filled in by each one of us, bearing in mind the ‘fruit’ that – every word said by us, action made by us, thought cultivated by us – will bear ; and also mirror the consequences of the ‘karma’ of our previous lifetimes.”

” ‘Humari karmabhoomi – jeevan mein, alag alag adhyaay hote hain, aur ‘dukh – sukh’ bhi humare jeevan ka ek adhyay hai.’ Happiness and sadness are two completely opposite emotions and shades that accompany us throughout our life – form a very relevant and essential chapter of our life – and have to be accepted and tackled by us with equanimity, maturity and tenacity; by neither allowing unhappiness – ‘dukh’ – in particular, to gain an upper hand on us and hold us at its mercy, nor by permitting ourselves to fall into the illusion that ‘sukh’- material or physical happiness will always stay with us.”

“But, yes, that which is in a state of constant happiness – our soul – is unaffected by joy or gloom ! ”

“Life is a baggage of mixed emotions. Elation and excitement could make us deliriously happy one moment ; disenchantment and dejection could make us vulnerable, weak and helpless, the very next. Each moment brings with it something new – completely unexpected and unanticipated – something out of the blue, and we either bask in the warm glow of happiness or suffer silently – blanketed in layers of disappointment and sorrow when something contrary to our expectations takes place, leaving us shell- shocked and dismayed. ‘Aur tab humein dukh-sukh ka ehsaas hota hai !”

” ‘Dukh-sukh’…
Don’t these two words complement and complete each other perfectly ? One follows the other quietly, in a silent, tacit understanding; exhibiting mutual respect for the other, all the while aware that both will enter and exit, at varying intervals of our life. They make way and space for one another, in perfect synchronization, waltzing in and out of our life, at the destined time.”

“Dukh, sukh’ – dono ka ehsaas hona bahut zaroori hai, kyunki dono humein kuch sikha ke jatey hain. Dukh hai toh sukh bhi aaega… Dukh nahi aaega, toh sukh ka ehsaas kaise hoga…Thoda kasht, dukh bhi aana chahiye !”

“It is the stark contrast between ‘dukh’ and ‘sukh’ that has made us sensitive to the difference between them, and makes us rejoice when we are blessed with ‘sukh’ – peace and prosperity – ‘aur uss sukh mein humein anand praapt hota hai.’ At the same time, an overdose of ‘sukh’ also brings boredom as one’s platter spills over with too much of everything good in life. And, then ‘dukh’ brings along with it, new, unforeseen challenges. No one is spared from experiencing circumstances and situations related with both – ‘dukh-sukh’! Be it ‘a raja’ or ‘ a ‘runk’ – both, will see time and tide, either ‘rise in their favour’ or ‘set against them’, time and time again, during their lifetime. One who says that he will remain untouched by unhappiness or ‘dukh’ is living in a fool’s paradise …’ Woh andh – vishwas mein jee raha hai! ”

“Once we accept that ‘Dukh-sukh’ humare jeevan ke do kinare hain, jissey humein guzarna hai’ – are a part and parcel of our life, and grow familiar with the fact that the sky above us will not always remain overcast with ominous grey clouds that loom large and threateningly over us; but will move away and allow rays of sunshine and happiness to brighten our life once again – the journey of life becomes easier to traverse through…’ Har cheez badalti hai, aur dukh – sukh bhi badal jaate hai. ‘Dukh’ – unhappiness will make way for ‘sukh’ – happiness, and vice-versa !”

“But the moot question is – Why do we find it difficult to accept ‘dukh’ – a few obstacles and hardships? Why do we allow our problems to assume gargantuan proportions in our mind? Why do we blame God for the pain and suffering that we have to endure? Why do we rant and rave against everyone and everything possible? Why blame our ‘kismet’, our fate, and hold them responsible for the spate of problems which we feel we’ve been inundated with, for no fault of ours? Yet, it is the very same us who embrace ‘sukh’, happiness and everything that is associated with, our well – being and prosperity, without any hesitation – cling tightly to it, afraid, lest it slip away from our hands !”

“Give it a serious thought. Would not life plateau and become monotonous ‘agar sukh hi sukh hota’ – if everything was perfect and hunky dory with us ! Would we not miss out on facing challenges, rising to demanding issues, developing an iron-will and emerging triumphant, after overcoming all odds! How would we evolve and grow otherwise? ‘Jab ‘farishton’ aur ‘devon’ ko bhi kasht uthana pada hai prithvi par, toh insaan dukh – sukh se kaise untouched reh sakta hai!’ ”

“Remember, the few odd times when we were incapacitated, suffered with body ache and shivered with fever, wishing fervently that the worst was over ! We longed for those days of illness to pass by quickly, and couldn’t wait to feel strong and healthy once again…’Dukh-sukh jeevan ka ek hissa hai! Humein dukh – sukh ko, Bhagwaan ka diya hua prasad samajh kar grahan karlena chahiye !’ “

 

Swamiji says …

”The greatly treasured parent – child relationship ; the emotional bond that connects a child to his parent – its purity and beauty is indescribable; an emotion that cannot be put into words. Can we define the pure, divine love that a mother bears for her child ? Why does a mother make her child her topmost priority, right from the moment of its birth, is known only to her ! What makes her run to her child at its first cry; makes her shed tears at every suffering of his can only be answered by her !”

“It is rightly said – ‘Since God couldn’t be everywhere, He made mothers!’ A mother – our life giver – keeps her child safe, secure and protected in her womb, raises him with her flesh and blood and lets him know constantly that she will be there to welcome him, in the warm embrace of her loving arms, when he arrives in the world. The proud father, with dreams in his eyes, plans and saves every penny for his child’s future, intent on fulfilling every desire and need of the child – be it academic, professional or marital !”

“Parents, needless to say, love their children selflessly, dote on them and happily do everything that is within, and much beyond their means, for their child – be it a daughter or a son. They stand by their child, support his ambition and watch him with joy and pride, as he steps out into the world and tries to reach for the stars. As parents, they perform their duties selflessly, expecting nothing from him in return.”

“’Generation Next’ today is smart, intelligent and educated! Youngsters meet, mingle with each other, interact and exchange ideas at various platforms and forums, and in the process gain proximity with each other. Very often, young couples fall in love, and express their desire to tie the matrimonial knot, to their parents. Parents, as always, giving paramount importance to their child’s wish, accept his decision without any hesitation, and perform the nuptials with great happiness. Things remain cordial for some time and then the bubble of bonhomie begins to burst, as a deeply disturbing trend that I see happening across the world, in many homes, starts taking an ominous shape.”

“‘Aatma ko achcha nahi lagta hai’ – when I see the attitude and behaviour of quite a few newly married women change, in the most unexpected manner , for the worst. Barely do a few months of marital bliss pass by – and it appears that the sheen of matrimonial happiness begins to wear off. A series of complaints and complications begin, as young wives find it difficult to accept the new relations, and relationships, that form an integral part of the new responsibility that comes along with being a wife – and differences start creeping in. The major point of contention being the presence of the husband’s parents and siblings in her married life, a life in which according to her only -‘ miya, biwi ‘ – husband and wife should exist, and others should cease to matter. The husband’s side of the family should take the hint and fade away from ‘their’ lives. She is unwilling to allow ‘them’ any space in her husband’s life – that very person, who she seems to forget is also someone’s son and brother – but who now, for all practical purposes, is only hers and belongs exclusively to her.”

“Zyaadatar, duniya bhar ke gharon mein yeh ho raha hai!’ Women are more emotional than men, and their love for their parents and siblings is a lifelong affair. It is wonderful to be so, but the problem arises when a married woman tries to tilt her husband’s affections totally towards her entire family and expects him to move away from his parents and siblings – both, physically and emotionally…’ Woh dheere dheere apne husband ka jhukaav apne parivaar ki taraf kar leti hain !” At times, one gathers an impression that a husband’s family is a collection of inhuman, emotionless people, and it is only a woman’s family that has the most humane, loving and considerate individuals, and they are the only closely knit unit in the world.”

“Problems of different kinds could crop up, in particular, between a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law, but rather than holding a grudge and casting aspersions on the mother-in-law, wouldn’t it be better, if the daughter-in-law had a direct talk with her and tried to solve the problem? The in-law’s too need to change and listen to the daughter-in-law’s perspective without any prejudice. Are they too interfering, dominating and extremely possessive about their son, which is not liked by the young daughter-in-law ! One can give it a try and the outcome could build and strengthen relationships rather than widening the existing gulf further ! ”

“It saddens me greatly when women devotees complain to me, in the Darbar, about their in-laws. ‘Mujhe bahut dukh hota hai jab woh apne saas – sasur ki burai mujh se karti hain! Main unhe uss samay shiksha deta hoon aur topic ko badal deta hoon!’ I endeavour to remind them of the age old values, the respect and esteem in which their in-laws should be held by them and the duties they have towards them, with the hope that the quarrels and misunderstandings between them come to an end and peace reigns in their homes once again.”

” Women, independent and with a mind of their own, also want to control and command their husbands, these days, and it is done easily, as the husbands keep quiet, in order to avoid heated arguments, which they know will get them nowhere…’Woh apne husband ko apne bass mein karna chahti hain!’ The thought of the husband doing anything for his family, helping them in any way could perturb them greatly – ‘aur woh unhe rokti hain , unke apne parivaar ke liye kuch karne se’ – but on the contrary, will expect him to go all out, to bail out and stand by their family members, in their moments of distress. ‘Unhe apne side ka hi khyaal hota hai … Yeh achchi cheez nahi hai!’ If their tantrums and mood swings don’t work, they then adopt a dictatorial attitude- ‘Taanashahi par aa jaati hain’ and taunt their husbands – ‘ You…Your mother…Your father …You are a weak person! Till when will you be a Mama’s boy ? ‘Aaj joh uska pati hai – ussi ko pehle uske mata-pita – jinka woh beta hai – ussey kitne pyaar se bada kiya hai! They tend to completely forget the love and labour that has been put in by his parents to make their son – their husbands now, what they are today.”

“It gives me great pain in saying that quite a many women today, believe in having exclusive rights on their husbands – ‘Miya, biwi … Me and my husband! That’s all.’ No unwanted baggage in the form of the husband’s parents and siblings is allowed. Do they really think even for a minute that their indifferent body language, flashing eyes and hurtful actions, cannot be understood by the boy’s parents? The parents , on the other hand, prefer to remain quiet, as they do not want to be the cause of any friction and tension between their son and daughter-in-law which could lead to an ugly divorce – and move out of their home into another house. ‘ Aur jiss se unhone apne bete ki shaadi khushi khushi karvai thi …’ – that daughter-in – law now wants to detach them – cut all strings of attachment and love that bond them with their son. Try to relate with the pain and suffering of the boy’s parents who, at times, have done no wrong, but are being needlessly subjected to the strong resentment and dislike that you bear for them.”

“Remember, behaviour of this kind will get you nowhere. Best would be to thrash out the differences, the sore points, politely, with the elders in the family. Acquaint them with your expectations as a daughter-in-law and draw their attention to the times when you felt that they had let you down. After all mistakes could have been made by your in-laws too. But blind hatred for them, just because they are your husband’s parents, and not your parents, who you love greatly, does not hold any ground. A moody, selfish, egoistic life paves the way for a day – ‘when you are in difficulty and suffering, you will not have anyone around you to give you a glass of water.’ I’m sure none of us would like to see the light of such an unfortunate day.”

Swamiji says …

“We love talking. We can talk incessantly for hours on end, and that too, quite unnecessarily. And why not – we say to ourselves. After all we have the ‘Right to Speech’ – we remind ourselves, and thus, we make the most of this right. We love to air our opinions and thoughts – at our will and fancy – not really bothered if someone is in actual want of our words. Words which can either impart wisdom or spew venom; build relationships or destroy them beyond repair; are many a times, spoken uncaringly by us, with a total disregard to the ripples they could cause in the otherwise placid life of others! ”

“Do we ever remember that words breathe, sing and have a life of their own ? We just have to listen to the song that is hidden in every word to understand this. They not only have the gift of conveying a wealth of meaning even when they are unspoken; but they also take a completely different connotation, the moment they are said to us, and by us, in a particular manner ! Words said by us in the form of a monologue or a conversation – dialogues being exchanged – could be either fruitful, healing and productive ; or totally worthless, hurtful and unhelpful. Our aim should be to choose words carefully, never hurt or speak disparagingly about anyone and avoid carrying tales from one person to another.”

“Are we aware of the responsibility that we hold towards words and the way in which they should be used by us? Do we remember while speaking that the worth of every word can be weighed in gold?
Have we ever paid attention to the fact that it is words that are powerful enough, to either build a person’s name and spread his fame, when spoken with respect, or tear one’s reputation to tatters, destroying his name forever, when spoken with malice, insinuations and wrong intent !”

“The use of words is under one’s control till the time one is busy and involved in doing something constructive and creative. Words – sensible and meaningful – take some time in being formed, phrased and presented to others around us.
But the complete opposite happens when we have a lot of time to spare! How does one fill in those vacant hours of ‘boredom’ when one is doing nothing ? The mind needs some thought to feed on, to think and reflect on; and when it finds itself devoid of thoughts, it runs helter-skelter aimlessly, and does what it does best – Firstly, it thinks and mentally discusses about others! Later, it gossips – discusses the office or neighbourhood grapevine, indulges in loose, inane character assassination of others!”

“ The mind, hurriedly and happily, formulates a long list of malicious ‘points’ about friends and acquaintances – ‘he said this and that about you’ – which ‘it’ decides is its duty to share with others. The tirade of words aimed at heaping insult, humiliation and injury on others, unceasingly flow from our mind which is very active by now.”

“The wicked, devious elements in the mind – which have been waiting patiently, for ‘goodness’ to accomplish its task, and to leave some space for them now – joyfully take over the mind. They are delirious with delight, literally rubbing their hands gleefully in anticipation of the pleasure they will derive in maligning others and talking ill about them. All they need is that tiny spark of negativity and dislike that is crackling in them, for no reason, to light up a fire of mistrust and misunderstanding between people, who had earlier trusted and cared for one another implicitly… ‘ Aur phir aise log, doosron ki ninda karne mein lag jaate hain … Na chahate hue bhi tumhe kisi ki ninda sun ni padhti hai , joh tumhe nahi karni chahiye ! ”

“We submit meekly to this abominable weakness – of being slanderous and talking ill of others – which in turn, turns out to be so strong, that it galvanizes us into action, by making us leave the perimeters of our homes even at odd hours, saunter into houses of neighbours and acquaint them with a verbatim report of what the other person has been saying about him – what he thinks of him – and enjoys the immediate reaction of anger that he is able to draw from him.”

“’Kuch logon ko aadat hoti hai ki ek ghar se doosre ghar mein jaate hain, aur doosron ki chugli karte hain… Usne yeh kaha, usne woh kaha … Unke ghar mein chingari laga dete hain … Yeh galat hai!” – and then happiky watch fireworks erupt, as a showdown takes place, between the people involved. Can’t we mind our own business and not interfere in the lives of others? ”

” The ones who suffer the most ‘ apni ninda sun kar ‘ – are those who lend their ears a bit too easily to others – go by hearsay, and believe every word that is said to them by the avid gossipers, and refuse to give the innocent person an opportunity to say anything in his defense…’Kuch log kaanon ke kacche hote hain aur doosron ki baaton mein aa jaate hain … Unhe pehchan nahi hoti hai satya ki aur unki baaton se apne ghar mein aag lagaa dete hain !’ ”

” Why do we waste our time by listening to rubbish of this kind ? We should not bother to listen to a word said by such vicious minded people, who are bent on tarnishing names of others and ruining sound, strong relationships …’Unki baatein sunke tum achche logon se rishta tod dete ho…unse alag ho jaate ho!’ We must stop them then and there by making it clear to them that we are neither willing to listen to them, nor do we believe in saying anything against anyone – and skirt the issue by changing the line of conversation immediately. ”

“The foundation of strong relationships that have withstood the test of time should not be weakened by the poisonous darts of a few useless people, who are unhappy themselves, and gain happiness by causing unwanted misery to others…’aur iss tarah ka zeher samaj mein phelate hain!’ We must refrain from committing this sin, from indulging in this vice that can cause irreparable damage to many a lives ! Rather, use words of appreciation, hope and trust to bond and bring people together.”