From devotees’ diary – 1

‘Her eyes will be beautiful’ is what Swamiji said while I was still in the womb. My birth was a miracle indeed. My mother was in a very serious condition before and during my conception. Having suffered four miscarriages it was nothing but a miracle that she could conceive me. I believe I could not be more fortunate or more loved by God that He chose me to be with Him since and before my birth.

Swamiji has bestowed upon me and my family His infinite grace and blessings all through these years. With His grace these past 24 years, I have innumerable incidents and experiences to share. Life was never easy, but with His varadhast on us nothing negative ever touched us. We sailed through the hardest of times with ease. Just when I was born, Swamiji told my parents not to take me out of the house for one year. That particular year there was a wedding in our family which we couldn’t miss so my parents had to take me out and that very day I caught high fever. My mother called Swamiji and He said, ‘I told you not to take her out for this very reason!’ That day Swamiji protected and since that day we have never taken his words lightly. There have been countless such instances which have reaffirmed and strengthened our faith in Him even more. Swamiji once said that just like a farmer never uproots his own crop, a Guru never abandons His children no matter what! It is one thing to love your Guru, but when the Guru loves you back there’s nothing in this world that make you feel more satiated or ecstatic. In one word, this is what euphoria is!

Staunch devotion and faith.

Who am I? I am just an instrument in His divine play! He proves it each time. I applied for masters in USA in March 2014. In one month I got eight rejects, yet focussing on that light at the end of the tunnel I kept moving. I confessed my fear, and passion to study further to Swamiji. As kind and loving as He is, He assured that I would get through somewhere soon. You know when Swamiji says ‘do not worry, I will take care’, One instantly knows that all will be well! You start trusting Him more than yourself and everything falls into place all by itself. All one needs to do, is surrender to Him! And lo, within a week I got an acceptance letter from two universities. But Swamiji asked me to wait another year and apply to other universities too. It was a tough decision but His words are like divine command and we know better than to disregard them, for only He knows whats best for us! 

I waited and applied to a different course in better universities the following year. Till February 2015 I got no response and I had nothing else in hand either. One day I was sitting and pondering over my current state then- No job, no acceptance letters, nothing. Some of my friends who were going through similar situation went into depression. But somehow I never felt that way! I always felt like someone has my back! Needless to say who that ‘someone’ was. Being a stalwart devotee having staunch faith in Him I never slipped, and I knew if I ever did slip He’ll be there to hold me with both His hands! And that very day He called us and said – “You must be feeling a presence around you all the time, a positive vibe which never lets you down. It is me! I am always around you, protecting you, like the eyelids protect the eyes. You rest on my hand like a delicate flower”.

He knows everything- our beloved omniscient lord! Every single thought that crosses our minds is known to Him. Within a weeks time I got accepted into not one but four universities with better ranking than last year’s. It is rightly said, first God asks us what we desire, then He makes us want what we deserve and then He blesses us with even more than that! Such is Swamiji’s divine love! In His own ways He evokes in us ‘Gyaan’ or spiritual knowledge. He says that it is not required to leave one’s daily chores and meditate in jungle. Self-realization can come even without ignoring your work. All it requires is a pure heart and the strong desire to be one with the almighty. Swamiji keeps fuelling that desire in us. It is rightly said you take one step towards Him and He takes hundred towards you.

Swamiji has sheltered us in His lap, away from all fears and troubles, bestowing upon us His unconditional love and grace. I feel so fortunate to have ever met Swamiji in the first place. To be so close to Him. I must have done some great deeds in the past to have been so blessed by Swamiji. I know we did not come to Him, but He was the one who called us! Omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient Swamiji knows about your true feelings and fears. In 2014, my brother came to India. We went to Bangalore and all I could think about was Swamiji. I always pray to Him to never leave my hand. Me and brother were all the while talking about Swamiji and His teachings. When we came back from Bangalore and met Swamiji, He told my parents, “I can see everything. Your kids love me a lot, nothing goes unseen from these eyes. I can see everything!” To narrate all the experiences we have had with Swamiji is very difficult! His grace and miracles are unceasing and ineffable! Words fail to describe the miracles of our beloved mother Swamiji.

On one of the visits we put forth one of our ever nagging concerns to Swamiji. We asked Him, how to keep this desire to know the true-self not die out? His response was touching. He said, ‘I have done this thing that one of my body parts always keeps paining. This pain is what keeps me close to Him.’

Our prayer to Him!

Never give me everything Swamiji, that might take me away from you, since I will not have a desire or a trouble to come out of. Always let something be that keeps me constantly asking of you. Always keep yourself in my thoughts. Let this curiosity to know the real truth keep burning so I keep going up the ladder.  It will take me to you. Merge me into you. Make me your flute through which you breathe, you sing. Keep purifying me. Let me constantly meditate on you. Bless me to always keep me on the go for you, For the higher truth. Let this wanting throb like my heartbeat. Keep me grounded. Keep testing me. Keep nourishing my soul. I don’t want anything from you but you. I want to merge in you. Keep me reminded of you! May our interaction with you be forever and may our devotion keep growing.