Dedicated to Swamiji Ajay Jain ji

Swami ji said…

How do most of us react when we hear that someone has said something adverse about us ; against us ; harbours ill – will against us ? Our reaction is immediate and instantaneous. Isn’t it ? We are angry and irked. We furiously ask the other person – who felt that it was his sacred duty to report first hand to us – who that ‘someone’ is, who has said something about us behind our back – without thinking for a second about the consequences that could arise from the seeds of doubt that they are able to plant in our mind – by doing so. The possibility that all that is being whispered into our ears by them needs to be cross checked by us – is silently rejected by us – as the treacherous mind finds favour in letting a ‘misunderstanding’ – ‘ एक गलतफहमी ‘ – take shape in our mind.

And , from that moment onwards – we promise ourselves – ” I’m not going to talk to him from today onwards…” ” I don’t ever want to see him again …” and, if, we opt for a direct confrontation with a mind filled with anger – it could find us in an extremely bitter and tasteless situation – as it would make us stoop down to very low levels – the kind which we had never thought of indulging in, and , would instead make us feel ashamed later – on thinking that we could have behaved in a manner so unbecoming of us.

Words have great power and, thus,
all that we hear ; whatever we hear – that has been said by whosoever – is literally lapped up by our ears – and we, maybe, take them more seriously than God’s words. We take this ‘hearsay’ personally ; as a personal attack – so much so – that the slightest possibility of not blindly believing the words – that have been ‘narrated’ to us ; and instead approach the matter with a calm , and , not an agitated mind – just does not strike us. It is because of a simple reason – ” ‘गलतफहमी’ जब एक बार हमारे दिमाग़ मे बस जाती है तब वह हमे सच ‘देखने’ नहीं देती …”

Wouldn’t it be better – if we were to give a serious thought to all that has been projected before us ; give a logical thought to the fact – whether the person named – could say something of that nature about us and above all get down to knowing whether it is true or fabricated ? Or is it a story that has been made by some trouble – makers to cause mischief between us and others – just because they are not happy at seeing trust and happiness thrive between us ? We must give a fair chance to the person who we by now have begun to abhor – and hear him out – before taking some drastic action against him. Wouldn’t it be better on our part to verify the truth of the matter from the so called ‘ culprit’ ? To question him directly and get a straight answer from him would would be the best , wouldn’t it ? ” Did you say words to this effect about me ? – and then hear his answer.

Years of trust , understanding and friendship are lost within a matter of seconds and for what purpose ! For a misunderstanding that has come out of nowhere – and to add to the problem – even, if , we were to suppose, in the hindsight , that maybe what we’ve heard about ourselves – could be true to a certain extent – the false sense of pride and arrogance that we have – will not let us hear and accept anything bad about us – even if it were to be true … ” हमारा ‘अहंकार’ हमे कभी भी सच ‘सुनने’ नहीं देता है…”

Our ego is like an impenetrable wall – that will not lay down its defences – at any cost. Even, if , it comes to harming and destroying relationships for ever between us, our friends and relatives. Friends turn into foes. Spouses separate. Business partners part ways. Siblings cut off relationships. All because – our ego tells us not to give in ; to take the initiative to clear the air. Our ‘ego’ – has such great control over us that it prevents us from taking the first sensible step and talk about the ‘hearsay’ – misunderstanding , directly – with the person concerned. Wouldn’t an attitude of this kind be more dignified and result – oriented rather than behaving in an inhumanly manner and resorting to other foolish methods to feel victorious and superior ? We need to remember -” हमारा ‘अहंकार’ और एक ‘गलतफहमी’ काफ़ी होती है हमे अपनों से जुदा, अलग करने के लिए…”

Swami ji said…

If someone were to ask us as to how many times in a day do we feel , find and see ourselves in a genuine state of happiness – what would our answer in all honesty be ? How many of us could spontaneously answer – ” I am happy most of the time ? ” ” I find many reasons to smile in a day ! ” And , at the same time, how many of us could look around sheepishly and say – ” I find it difficult to stay
happy…” ” I don’t see much to be happy about …” But, what if, the number of people looking sheepish – exceeds the number of those who answered spontaneously ? If, so, then it is an attitude, a mindset that needs to be corrected immediately.

Why do we find it difficult to be ‘unconditionally’ happy these days ? Most of us can recall the joyful faces of our parents and grand – parents – who lived life in a contented and happy manner. They didn’t have too many expectations from life ; were very grateful with what life would bring to them.Their carefree attitude showed their deep belief in God and His plans for them…”
वह जिस भी हालात मैं रहते थे, उसी मैं सुख देखते थे और खुश रहते थे …”

But , if , we were to see the state of the majority of us – in the present time – we would see a sharp decline in our mindset , temperament and attitude. Rather than being happy – at the reality of being ‘alive’ and enjoy the gift of life ; grateful to get an opportunity to inhale that breath of fresh air that God has allowed us to breathe – in that present moment of our lives – we let that precious moment pass by, instead, in worrying about things and issues over which we have no control and which apart from causing frowns and lines of worry on our faces – can do nothing good for us. As after all , what we see is a person with a face – that doesn’t come across as too pleasant, when seen, both – by others or us. Do the regrets of the past and anxieties of the future – deprive us of enjoying the beauty of the present moment ? Our past is our past. We cannot change it – but we can certainly heal by smiling in the present time, looking at a better future. Has – being unhappy – looking for reasons to stay unhappy – become a natural way of living life these days ? Have the demands and pressures of today’s life eroded the very foundation of happiness ? Is it that only ‘more’ of everything – gives us happiness – and when desires are unfulfilled and not met – worry and unhappiness – takes over us completely ?

But , unfortunately, these days – it appears that we have to hunt for reasons to find that elusive happiness ? Unhappiness, on the other hand – seems to be readily available – at the snap of our fingers. If we try to analyse the reasons that cause us unhappiness – make us feel sad and depressed – we would be taken aback to realise that the majority of the ‘reasons’ arise from external happenings. Occurances , instances and events that happen outside of us – which give us unending reasons to remain unhappy.

” हमने जो अपनी यह ये एक सोच बना ली है कि खुश रहने के लिए हमे बहारी चीज़ों पर निर्भर होना पड़ता है …” – is a creation of our fickle mind, and, we, have thus, unfortunately,
come to a conclusion that happiness comes with a cost attached to it. We need to remind ourselves all the time – that happiness doesn’t involve any expenditure. It comes without a price tag – unlike unhappiness – that affects our health severely.

At times , we feel agitated and upset over issues as worthless and trivial – as to what ‘others’ think about ‘us’. Why do we give undue importance to this foolish notion – is known only to us. We should be very clear in our mind – that what others think of us – should not matter to us – as long as we know we are on the right path – but , we still unnecessarily , make it our business. Our mind is not only filled, but , in a way , plagued by what others think of us. Why don’t they like us ? Why do they look with such malice at us ? What makes them feel that way about us – despite all that we’ve done to make them feel valued and important – are the needless doubts that keep on churning in our mind – wiping out all traces of happiness from within us.

We have formed a firm opinion in our mind that our life will be exactly the way we want it to be. And not every situation in life will turn out the way we want it to be. Life’s pattern can change in an instant. But, nothing – absolutely nothing – should ever take away from us – the sense of calm – that only happiness can bring to us.

Swami ji said…

Can any of us ever forget the instructions that were given to us by our family members, teachers and others – when it came to keeping , placing and arranging articles, objects and things – that were used by us in the formative years of our childhood , in particular? We might even recall that all those instructions were followed diligently by us – and a few good ones among us – would go all out to ensure that every thing was kept back neatly – from where it had been taken or pulled out by us in a great hurry earlier. All the things that were used by us ; be it toys, books, pens and pencils, bags, clothes, soaps – had to be put back in specific boxes, bags or areas designated for them – once we had finished playing with them or using them.

And, we , gradually began to understand that the box in which we kept our toys – became our toy box. Books were to be covered and kept in school bags. Pencil boxes which were treasured by us – were used to keep pencils. Shoe cupboards were meant to stack our shoes in an orderly manner. As we grew up – and started wearing jewellery – the box in which we carefully kept our diamonds and gold – became our very valued jewellery box. Toffee wrappers went into a trash can. Soap dishes were meant to have fragrant soaps placed in them.

We have been following this drill – year after year. Infact , so familiar are we with the spot where our things are to be put away or placed – that we can do the same, very easily, in pitch darkness too. So clear is the route in our mind. But , at the same time , it is this very darkness which can blind us to such an extent – that we fail to understand and remember a simple thing – that ‘when’ a ‘thing’ actually becomes ; is determined by ‘what’ goes ‘into’ it – like the things above – shouldn’t we be very careful and aware of what is it that we ‘keep’ and carry in our ‘mind’ ? Are our minds beautiful jewellery boxes – carved with the gems of love for all, honesty and compassion, or, have we converted them into garbage bins which are filled with hatred, anger and jealousy ? Because, what we should never forget is that – we ‘are’ what our mind ‘is’. We do as our mind directs us to do – and many a times we follow it unquestioningly. Do we rein in our mind or do we allow it to gallop like a wild horse ? Do we keep a quality check on our thoughts ? Do we screen our thoughts – before acting on them ? Or are we impulsive – say and do anything – and regret about our harsh words and inappropriate behaviour later ? Do we allow our mind to become too self – opinionated ; to think that it is one of the sharpest minds, replete with knowledge – one that will not allow any one else to counter it ? A mind in love with itself – will only swell with pride and find it difficult to make room for a fresh, new inflow of thoughts. And, a mind – stagnant would not be of any use at all.

Are we even conscious of the nature of the energy that pervades our mind and is easily visible to others ? Negativity in a person’s mind will not let him see anything good around him. He remains angry and ill – tempered for no reason and has many problems with people around him and with life in general.
A positive minded person finds it easy to smile and is thankful for every little blessing that comes his way. Such a person experiences heaven on Earth and the former makes life nightmarish for himself.

Do we realise that we have a certain responsibility towards our mind too ? To keep it pure , happy and healthy. Gossiping constantly ; speaking ill of others ; being avaricious ; desirous of materialistic pleasures – are all signs of an unhealthy, fatigued mind. Whereas a mind inclined towards spirituality – will be happy ; filled with the brightness of the love of God ; abundantly positive ; filled with faith and trust in God’s plans for us.

We need to remember that since our mind reflects a lot about us ; the kind of person we are ; what we think – wouldn’t it be wonderful for us to radiate a spiritual glow – with a mind focussed and immersed in God ?

Swami ji said…

In life, we often times come across phases and moments of dejection. We feel lost and discouraged. Absolutely nothing seems to make us feel secure and confident. We are a picture of self-doubt and fear. The mind is convinced that all has been for naught – our efforts and sacrifices – all of them have meant nothing and we are no good. We are quite convinced that we are of no use. And, strangely, our silent communication with these dark thoughts – has such a strong hold and influence on us – that we begin to believe in them – wholly and completely.

Do we ever ask ourselves as to why do have such faith and belief in the power of ‘NOT’? ” I cannot do this !” ‘ I cannot do that !” That is not possible for me to do ! ” That cannot be done! ” Day in and day out, we see so many people – achieve remarkable feats ; attain goals that we could only dream of. Yet, we convince ourselves that we surely will not be able to replicate none of those ourselves. It appears as though we are drawn towards these words, with some kind of a strange, fascinating conviction. As if these words – were only further strengthening the belief that we had already developed in our inadequacies. It is almost as if we trust these words…” ऐसा क्यूँ कि हम उन शब्दों पर ज्यादा विश्वास करते हैं जो हमें कमजोर करते हैं ? लेकिन स्वयं पर अटल और अटूट विश्वास नहीं करते ?”

The difference between those who think they ‘can’t’ and those who think they ‘can’, is often times not so much to do with ability or talent – but , rather, it is how they view themselves and others spiritually.To know oneself is to know God. Most of us however, do not view God in the remotest sense – when we think of ourselves. So blinded are we by ‘maya’, that we do not sense or feel any connection to a higher form. And , since all our experiences are limited by, and, bound to the physical senses – we are of course going to always place limits on what we can do or not do.

Man’s ego always makes him believe that he is the sole doer, the ‘कर्ता-धर्ता’ – and it is only he – who brings about everything – in his life. And , while such thinking can make one arrogant; it also makes one feel alone, bound by the limitations of ‘their’ self – be it physical or mental. How then can one ever think of taking on things that seem ‘out of reach’ or appear to be ‘insurmountable’?

But, those who are aware, who believe in a power higher than their own ; who believe that they can tap into that power and can be assisted by that power – such people, of course, are different ! They understand that it is their duty to give any and all their endeavours – their best shot; and that with God’s blessings they will be able to find ways to overcome whatever obstacles they are faced with. They understand that it is not just them, but, the Hand of God that makes them capable of doing that – which otherwise seems impossible.
The self-confidence that we see in such individuals, is not just confidence in their own abilities, but , also in the belief that God is looking over them and will be there for them whenever He is needed by them – provided they put in their best to achieve their goal.

Those, thus, on the spiritual path must ask themselves – Will a few setbacks leave them feeling uninspired, unimaginative and lustreless throughout their lifetime?
” ‘स्वयं’ पर विश्वास’ करने से, अपनी क्षमताओं पर भरोसा करने से और अपना सारा ध्यान अपने लक्ष्य पर केन्द्रित करने से हम मुश्किल से मुश्किल समय से गुज़र सकते हैं और नामुमकिन को मुमकिन कर सकते हैं…”

One must never give up on oneself. What we must understand is that it is in those moments – when we push ourselves – even while surrounded by darkness and despair – feeling lost and powerless – that is when we are actually not just placing faith in ourselves, but , also placing our faith in God. In fact, it is only when we begin to do so ; start being that way – that we begin to realise that there is something other than ‘us’ that is assisting us, wanting us to succeed. It is only when we persevere beyond our own limits that we can feel the helping Hand of God – guiding us forward – towards the light of motivation , self – confidence…और विश्वास स्वयं पर …”

Swami ji said …

“उसमें अहंकार कूट कूट के भरा है…” “पता नहीं वो क्यों इतना अहंकारी है?” ‘Why is he so arrogant?’ Haven’t many of us fumed in anger; expressed our frustration and exasperation while interacting with individuals – who refuse to let go their point of view. They refuse to listen to the perspective of others ; cutting off people in between ; making it clear that what they say is the last word and there is no room for them – to accommodate what others think or have to say. So rigid are they while expressing an opinion – that flexibility we feel is unknown to them – and they begin to feel that , if, they loosen up even a little ; relent to others opinions and accept their view point – ” उन्हें ऐसा लगता है, जैसे उनकी नाक कट जाएगी …”

The false sense of pride that they foolishly develop by thinking that they are the ones who are always right ; can only be right – and that the others are always wrong – is only leading them up a path of make believe – which will finally leave them feeling deserted and isolated – in the long run. Gradually, their ego turns them into headstrong , stubborn individuals – who grow accustomed to not being countered , controlled or checked by others – and end up agitating other people unnecessarily. Unless they are checked and attempts are made to refrain them from letting their egos – ”उनका ‘अहंकार ‘” – get the better of them; they are looking at a bleak future – in which a lot of resentment, dislike and displeasure – from others – awaits them.

Why should any of us behave in a manner that would be so contradictory to how God would like us to behave with others ? If we were to give it some serious consideration – we could relate with the thought that maybe – ‘हमारा ‘अहंकार’ ‘ – is that one trait , one characteristic – that wasn’t gifted to us by God – but created by us – ourselves.

Arrogance is what separates us from the Divine. If there is no humility in us – how can we, then , ever hope to see the Hand of God – that alone has the power to write our destiny. The ‘ego’ is what blinds us. We become believers of – “When I do this – only then do things happen.” But , in reality – we have control – only over what we can ‘do’. What happens as a result of that – is never in our control. Those who have humility, realise this very soon. They understand what is meant by God’s grace. They realise that it is only through His power that we are able to function.They realise that all that has come about in their lives is because of Him. It is the humble – who realise ‘what’ the world around them truly is. They do not see themselves as superior to others, but , that they are simply blessed by God and nothing more. They are thankful to Him for His blessings and try to repay His kindness by being good, kind and honest as He would want them to be. Such people, thus, are always good to have around us. They carry no air of self-importance or superiority. They see and treat everyone with equal respect and love and feel for one and all.

Arrogance is also what leads to jealousy. If we cannot be humble, then , we will not be able to appreciate God’s kindness to us. In such a state, we will never experience a single moment of gratitude in life. We will always see, compare and want what others have. We will be jealous of others for some reason or another. We will never be happy with our own lot in life and are bound to be in conflict with others. We will always find fault with others and resent other’s successes and celebrate their failures.

Arrogance, thus, will never make it possible for us to have healthy relationships with others. There will always be mistrust and deceit even in our relationships with our closest ones.
We need to think as to what could happen to those who allow arrogance to rule over them ? Their downfall is surely written in stone. Be it Ravan in the Ramayana or Duryodhan in the Mahabharat – those who act with arrogance always end up being at the receiving end of life’s cane.

No matter how good one’s life is – how great things are for him – any arrogance in him – can be removed by a flip in fate – that he couldn’t have ever seen coming his way. This is God’s way of reminding us about who actually is in charge. Thus, instead of having Him trying to remind us – we must try to check ourselves – the moment we feel that we begin to give undue importance to ourselves and bask in unwarranted admiration of our own abilities. The more we ‘clean’ ourselves of these ideas of ‘me’ and ‘ I ‘- the ‘more’ we prepare ourselves to experience the beauty and mystical power of God.

We must remember that – ‘ Life elevates the humble – and humbles the arrogant”.