Swami ji said …
“आपने मेरे लिए किया ही क्या है?” “What have you ever done for me?”
These are words that pierce parents’ hearts and hurt them beyond measure when uttered by their own children. These are words that, in an instant, can dismiss the love that drove parents to make sacrifices for their children’s well-being. And these days, such words are often spoken by the younger generation to their parents with absolute indifference.
Some children are audacious and shameless enough to place the blame for their own inadequacies, failures and shortcomings squarely on their parents, putting them in the dock. Nothing should shock us anymore, particularly in today’s world, where some youngsters feel that it is their birthright to treat their parents disrespectfully. Their discourteous attitude towards their parents speaks volumes – about how their parents’ have failed them – maybe, by not supporting them when they needed parental support the most; by not standing by their decision- as they were convinced it would have been the best for them. Parental dissent is nearly unacceptable these days.
Besieged by a materialistic world where one’s worth is measured solely by money and possessions, people nowadays, place little value on ‘values’, ‘knowledge’ and ‘wisdom’— the essentials needed to lead a morally upright life. These are ‘riches’ that only parents can give to their children. And, yet, children today are utterly ungrateful for having been taught these ‘gems’ by their parents.
Only a handful ever feel grateful to their parents for teaching them kindness and respect; the importance of speaking the truth at all times; to not be dishonest. Even fewer thank their stars for having parents who showed them the importance of worshipping God; praying to Him regularly and to have faith in Him and His plans for them.
Today, it is all about money, property and inheritance. Peoples’ relationship with their parents and elders is, more often than not, based solely on these considerations. ‘Seva’ of ageing parents could be considered a fruitful transaction in the hope of a financial reward later on. Doors and hearts are shut for old parents- as they are considered ‘added’ responsibility- which is to be shirked at all cost.
Respect and love is shown only to gain access to family wealth later on. And, all this charade is carried out with great confidence by the younger lot- to fool their very life source- their parents. Do they really think that their parents cannot see through the game that is being played in front of them? And, if, the elderly have no precious ‘carrots’ to dangle as incentives- little time is, unfortunately, devoted to them and their well-being.
Let us remember Lord Ram. He did not let his behaviour or his attitude towards King Dashrath or Queen Kaikeyi change even a little- when he was unfairly denied the crown and asked to leave the kingdom for fourteen years. He did not rage at them for putting him in such a difficult position. He did not blame them for the misery he was about to suffer in the forests. He simply accepted it all as his lot in life and faced it unflinchingly.
Children must be taught that nothing in this world, including an inheritance- can be taken for granted. They must understand, in a spiritual sense, that ‘nothing’ is guaranteed in life. Even when a parent says, “This will be yours…”, “You will inherit this…” or “We have this…” – these words are in no way a real guarantee. For the only one who can ever guarantee us anything is God.
If children can be made to understand this and to realise that good ‘karma’— loving and respecting their elders, attending to their needs and helping them when they are in difficulty— is what will truly count in the end- perhaps then there will be genuine kindness and respect for the elderly.
Our culture, traditions and values tell us to honour our ancestors, remember them and seek their blessings. We feed crows in their honour, offer prayers and perform ‘pooja’ in their name- in the hope that they find peace.
But of what use is such peace to our ancestors now- if, we could not give them real peace while they were still with us? Disregarding them; deliberately making them feel unwanted when they were alive – when they needed us and our love the most – stays in our conscience – and no matter how much we try to erase it from our memory – it stays with us. Too late to make amends now.
No prayers or offerings today can make up for the love we failed to give them while they were with us. Let us remind ourselves that it would be the best if we could ‘serve’ them ‘now’ – with the simple things that they would desire- peace and happiness at home; seek their advice because we value their words; make them feel welcome and an integral part of the ‘home’- of which they were the central figures ones. It is said that God loves to reside in a home where the elders are happy and feel ‘needed’ by the next generation.
Dhanyawad Gurudev 🙏🙏🙏
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