Dedicated to Swamiji Ajay Jain ji

Swami ji said…

” तुम ये नहीं कर सकोगे …” “तुम ये नहीं कर पाओगे…” “ये तुम्हारे बस की बात नहीं है…” These words, sometimes, said with genuine concern ; sometimes said – with the wisdom of experience, and, sometimes, said, with ill intent – always tend to hurt us. Hearing them – makes us lose our self-confidence and our sense of purpose. We feel defeated and belittled on hearing such disheartening
words – said to us in a disparaging manner!
We can all recall how discouraged we have felt on hearing these demotivating opinions about us. It feels as though the winds had been taken out of our sails. All the enthusiasm and ‘josh’ drains away from us – leaving us feeling deflated and dejected.

The worst part is that more often than not, these naysayers, feel free – as though it is their birth right – to give their unsolicited opinion about us – even when they know that we haven’t asked them for it. They say what they want to say – without giving a thought to the consequences that their critical words – could have on the person listening to them. Not realizing that their fear – inducing words – could cause a drastic shift in the direction in which one’s life could be going.

Even those on the spiritual path, can often find themselves hearing such disheartening comments about their spiritual endeavours. Be it even among friends, and, family – there is often someone, dissuading a spiritual seeker by saying things like – “There is no God…”, “All this talk about spirituality will get you nowhere in the world…”, “You are not good enough to find God…” and even – “How will ‘you’ ever be spiritual ? It’s just not possible!”So deeply affected are we by their pessimistic words – which unfortunately serve as major deterrents to us – that not for a moment do we try to understand – as to what is it exactly – that makes them say – what they had said to us. All those who dampen our enthusiasm by saying such things to us – ” वो सारे लोग जो कहते हैं कि – तुम ये नहीं कर सकते…या तुम वो नहीं कर पाओगे – हो सकता है कि वही लोग शायद डरते हैं कि तुम
वो कर के ही दिखाओगे…”
Could it be possible that they know much more about our abilities – than we ourselves do – and are out to make us deliberately feel useless and incapable?
We most certainly need to make a note of this – and rather than getting demotivated – we need to move ahead, urgently – with renewed determination.

In fact, we, ourselves are often guilty of this too. When we see others trying to do – that which we never dared to do, or , could not do – we often try to clip their wings by telling them that their endeavour will be a wasted effort and it would not be possible for them to succeed.This reaction is often borne out of jealousy, and, also out of a fear that – somehow , someone else’s success where we failed – will expose our shortcomings. But, we must not think in this way at all ! We must only share our concerns in a ‘matter of fact’ manner, and , not with the aim of scaring or dissuading someone. We must cheer those – who try to achieve that – which might seem impossible. We must find inspiration in the belief that they have in themselves. It is often in such cases that we start believing in ourselves too – a key ingredient in being successful in life.

The spiritual seeker too must have this belief in himself. No matter what his past was like ; whatever it was that he had done before ; what kind of company he had kept – there is nothing that can stop him from finding God – other than he – himself. In all likelihood , he might often be told that – he is not worthy enough ; deserving enough ; that he did not possess adequate intellect, or , the necessary mental or physical strength, or , that he was too poor , or , too pampered – to try to seek God. But , the spiritual seeker – must remain unaffected by the din around him and stay rooted to his decision – as he alone would know about his abilities ; about his inner strength, and , even, if , he begins his spiritual journey on a shaky ground – he cannot allow disenchantment to set in – but should continue to walk, with conviction, on the path chosen for him by God.

Swami ji said…

Till just a few decades back – families often lived together. These ‘joint families’, as they are still referred to, were very common in the days gone by , wherein, the head patriarch’s word was the final word – with the children, including the sons, always heeding to his words and never doing anything to the contrary.
Everything was shared – be it happiness or grief. Members of a family laughed and celebrated together in each other’s joys and wept on seeing the other’s pain. Signs of simmering discontent were nipped in the bud – by discussing things face to face. And immediate steps were taken by the elders of the family to resolve any friction that could be caused due to the thought of unfair division of material assets. Thinking on selfish lines of ‘तेरा-मेरा’ was discouraged and magnanimity was taught by emphasizing on ‘हमारा’ – by the matriarch of the family. Utmost importance was given to ensure that peace and harmony was maintained in the family – at all cost.

Respect; obedience; having faith in others; putting others before themselves; to care and bear true love and compassion for others – were the core values – on the foundation of which the younger ones were raised in joint families and they imbibed these values – without raising any questions. Artificiality and pretence was something that they were not allowed to nurture and were told about the merits of being genuine and honest in their relationships and expressions.
Once the younger lot started behaving with their elders and others in a respectful and kind manner; spoke with love and remained humble – they understood that this is all that would they would need to do – to live a good and happy life. The qualities of patience, consideration and tolerance that developed within them while living with the elderly and young simultaneously – would stay with them for ever – and help them remain even tempered in many situations.” ऐसे बच्चे दयालु, स्नेही और विनम्र बनते हैं…”

Changing times do not only change us, but, also bring about changes in every aspect of our life – and so it has in the way we live today. The sheen of living in extended, joint families seems to have faded away with time – as maybe, each individual could be keen to live life the way he wanted to – on his terms and conditions. His ego not being able to accept that his word does not matter much to others. His preferred food choices; his desire to live in a scenario or environment that suited him the most – just him and his immediate family – leaving behind ‘people’ who had been his world till some time back. Do we have the courage to admit that the parents who were once respected by us – when we needed them – are , at times , at the receiving end of blatant disrespect – once they are old and of not much use to us? Our siblings with whom we once shared everything – are now the ones from whom we hide things about our progress and growth. There are instances when siblings are envious on seeing the other sibling prosper more than them. Tempers run high on hearing about the possibility of one sibling getting a slightly larger share of inheritance than the others, and this gives them enough reason to cut off ties from one another – at times, forever.

If, a misunderstanding, ever develops between family members, it is best to clear the air, by talking directly to the concerned person. Do not bear ill – will against him – as nursing that grudge will harm us more than anyone else.

Being indifferent and arrogant with all those persons who ‘should’ matter the most to us – will lead us nowhere – but to a hollow life – of loneliness and isolation. We must learn to accept the differences between us ; be forgiving to the misdeeds made by a few and never let a clash of egos cloud our sense of reasoning – all the more so when we are young. Young couples married for barely a few weeks are ready to file for divorce – without giving some more time to understand each other ; for their relationship to strengthen further. Sadly, patience – is at an all time low these days.” ‘रिश्तों’ और ‘संबंधों’ को बना के रखो, जोड़ के रखो…उन्हें टूटने मत दो…”

Swami ji said…

” हम दिन भर में कितने झूठ बोलते हैं, क्या हम ने कभी इसके बारे में सोचा है ?” Have we ever bothered to count the number of times we speak the untruth ?
Lying – has become almost second nature to us. We are guilty of doing so – ever so casually , even when there is no rhyme or reason to do so. We lie, without a trace of regret ; seek quick refuge in falsehood – every single day of our lives.

When questioned by whosoever – “ Why do you resort to lying ?” – our nonchalant reply to this ‘insignificant’ question could be – “What is wrong in doing so ? Things get done – only by lying ! Everyone does it !”

Those of us who have become habitual liars – continue to do so because we feel that the lies said by us so easily – make our life comfortable.
We are convinced that there is no harm done to anyone by us – by lying. We use various excuses such as – ‘ By lying – we will not hurt other’s feelings…” ” By lying , I am able to avoid conflicts…”

But, for once we wouldn’t be lying , if , we admit that we lie for our convenience.
We lie to hide our mistakes and avoid being reprimanded. We lie to avoid working hard. We say a lie to cover up a wrong – doing ; to present ourselves as perfect beings and not expose our flaws. We lie to obtain things we would not be able to get otherwise.

To lie – is to sin. So, whenever we lie , not only are we sinning – but , we are also letting other negative qualities like greed, laziness and jealousy get the better of us completely. That is why we must be wary of being dishonest ! While relying on falsehood is wrong in itself – the reasons for doing so are also just as wrong ! This is precisely why we must be alarmed when we find ourselves resorting to lying. We must delve deep and ask ourselves, what are we really hiding? Because , whenever we say a lie – we don’t just deceive the other person by doing so , but , we also deceive ourselves by seeking temporary refuge in falsehood. The truth has a way of coming out in the open – be it today or tomorrow. We must remember that whenever we lie, we are actually fooling ourselves – by not acknowledging how weak we are ; how scared we are of speaking the truth – as we fear that we might present a poor picture of ourselves by being honest. A life lived in lies , is a life that is bereft of any principles and values. Thus, the first signs of falsehood – detected in us must be extinguished with the utmost sense of urgency.

The biggest hindrance in overcoming the habit of falsification – is the fear of speaking the truth. We fear the consequences of speaking the truth ; the aftermath – if it does not benefit us and does not work to our advantage. We fear that we will be reprimanded or will find ourselves in a difficult spot – for speaking the truth. We must however remember that admonishment as a result of speaking the truth, can never really be harmful to us. The truth has never harmed anyone. Yes, it might seem painful at times , but , that pain is temporary – only faced when we make an effort to unshackle ourselves from our flaws and grow spiritually. On the other hand, the lies said by us – always have a way of coming back to hurt us sometime or the other. A lie said by any one of us is ‘bad karma’ and we will always have to account for it at some point in our life. And, unlike what we assume, we actually should be extremely wary of lying , as we do not know what suffering and mishap they could unleash upon us and others. Even a smallest distortion of the truth can have a cascading effect that could cause unimaginable destruction and damage in its wake.

How can one hope to seek God, if , he indulges in fabricating lies all the time ? If one is scared to face the truth and speak the truth – how can he then ever seek to see through the veil of ‘maya’ in life ? It is time for us to check the lies that tumble out of our mouth with such ease. Rather , we should abandon the perilous road of deceit and falsehood at the earliest; realise the mistake being made by us – by lying repeatedly and make a diligent attempt to give up the habit of creating tall dishonest tales – to flatter , please and win over others.

How can we hope to see God, if, we refuse to see ourselves for who we are? Would we want to see ourselves as liars , cheats , individuals without any scruples?
There is a reason that seekers of God are often referred to as seekers of the ‘Truth’ – as God can only exist where ‘Truth’ prevails. For where there is truth ; there is purity, and , where there is purity – there is God. And, thus , for us to be victorious in the pursuit of God, we must adhere to the principle of ‘satyamev Jayate’ – ‘सत्यमेव जयते’ – victory lies in the ‘truth’ and ‘truth’ alone triumphs.

Swami ji said…

With time, society has made tremendous progress in material prosperity. The advent of technology has made it easier for man to live an ultra-luxurious and extremely comfortable life. The physical senses and the mind are very much at ease now – since every comfort is available – just at the click of a button. The moment we are bothered by the heat – we immediately turn on an AC or a cooler. The first sign of boredom and we simply start scrolling through the most expensive gadgets in our hand and the TV of course can be switched on at any time. We are at all times surrounded by conveniences that defy logic, imagination and explanation – but, we are unable to function without a single one of them – as we have become extremely dependent on them now.

A few of us could adopt a slightly cynical attitude towards all the development that we see around us – which according to us could contribute adversely in turning the younger generation into slaves of gadgets and comfort minded. But, changing times demand constant changes – and , thus, man will never give up on testing his intelligence and innovative skills – and he will continue to create the unthinkable.

Consequently, the questions that arise are – At what cost have we acquired these conveniences? Has the environment paid a heavy price for our zeal and over – ambition? To what extent are we hurting nature just to keep ourselves comfortable ? And how will this pan out for us in the future ?
But, all these questions, while important, nonetheless, are of a physical nature. There is one aspect that is ignored by them all –
How have all these comforts impacted us spiritually?

The biggest challenge in leading a life immersed in abundance and comfort is that we forget what it is like to struggle. We forget what it takes to make a concentrated effort towards achieving anything ‘concrete’ as we grow up. We are unable to relate with the feeling of not having something; what it means to sacrifice; to work hard; to lead a disciplined life – which could take us beyond the physical material comforts – and make us realise that a treasure of ‘true’ wealth is hidden within us – in our inner being.

Those on the spiritual journey must always be aware of the dangers of falling into the trap of excessive comfort ; must remain detached from all the physical assets that have been accumulated by them – and at the same time continue with their search for spiritual wealth. It is not that we become physically less resilient with comforts around us. The body can always get used to whatever conditions it is put through – over time. That suffering can still be overcome. Rather, it , is the mind, that becomes soft and full of malaise – while living in excessive comfort. It is when sloth and disinterest takes over it – that there is a distinct possibility that we could give up our spiritual quest entirely. The mind is so fearful of the idea of any kind of discomfort that the thought of any sort of scarcity; the thought of having to sweat it out; to exert oneself not only fills one with panic ,but, one also finds it irksome. This further becomes a hindrance on the path of spirituality, as, this lethargy comes in the way of carrying out actions that often need effort and exertion. The mind sets off in a direction that is exactly opposite to what needs to be done. It procrastinates ; postpones for tomorrow – anything that needs persistence and resilience. Such behaviour is often self-harming. Because just to avoid some pain today, we, choose to invariably suffer more tomorrow.
Not only this. The mind then begins to question why any effort should be made at all ? It asks – Why undergo all this effort and pain ? For what? How does it help ‘me’? We thus become highly selfish in our actions. The thought of taking out time and working for someone else seems out of question. ‘Seva’ becomes an alien concept to us. In such a convoluted state of mind, how can one hope to find any pleasure in service to his brethren? How can one hope to do any good ‘karma’ at all, if , one is so afraid to make an effort.

We must, thus, keep a constant vigil over how we are living. Whether the comforts we provide ourselves are actually doing us any good or not ? We must always ask ourselves – “Am I a slave to the comforts of life?’ ‘What were supposed to enable me to live better, are they now holding me back from pursuing spirituality ? Have we allowed the mind to be completely engulfed by the needs of appeasement and easement?’

We must draw inspiration from the life of Shri Ram. Whether in the Forest, or, in His Kingdom, He was always “Maryada Purushottam”. Whether He had access to the comforts of a King, or , whether He lived sparingly as an ascetic – it did not in any way affect His actions, His principles or His ‘dharma’. He was a ‘true King’ as He had mastered His ‘self’ and did not let it be affected by the external, or , the comfort of the senses. We too must persevere to be in such control and steer ourselves into the light of God.

Swami ji said…

Joy or sorrow; relief or anguish, freedom or fear – these emotions and feelings, though complete opposites, have one thing in common. They are all felt by us within. It is the mind that is relieved. It is the mind that is tense. It is the mind that is frantic, and , it is the mind which is at peace. We can be seething hot with anger on a cold winter day and be cool, calm and collected on a sweltering hot day. Clearly, when God made us, He did not intend Nature – around us , outside of us – to dictate our moods and emotions – within us.

But, as time passed by, we have increasingly allowed – the state of our mind to be dictated by that which is outside. A constant want for money, physical comforts, a great physical appearance, approval from others, gratification of the senses, a hunger for power and influence – all these – greatly affect and disturb our peace of mind now. There is no moment when we can simply be and accept our circumstances – without complaining.

If the mind is already a slave to ‘maya’, and its thoughts are borne from the myriad experiences that we have in the illusionary world – then we might not have complete control over our actions, and , thereby on our lives. Yes, we, do have to consider circumstances ; we do have to consider actions of others towards us, but, whether we simply react to them in an unmeasured, uncontrollable manner , or , assess and act in a wise manner is always a function of the state of our mind.Thus, the inner world, must be made independent of the outer world.

But, do we allow that to happen ? Very few of us succeed in doing so. In this short lifetime of ours we do meet quite a many people. People – those who are known to us ; some not very well known and some complete strangers – but , if, we were large hearted enough and appreciated the fact that we could learn a great deal from one another – we would, undoubtedly, benefit tremendously by doing so. Don’t we, at times, recall words of great import that had been said by someone we had met in the past, and, profit greatly by imbibing and making those words a part of our life ? At times, a person’s behavior could have such a lasting impression on us – that it could bring about a transformation in our behavioral pattern – which, but, naturally, would work in our favour from then onwards.

We can , I’m sure, recall the time when we might have met someone – who had come across as the epitome of happiness , positivity and cheer during our entire interaction with him – but , later on – we were left stupefied on learning – about the heart wrenching
personal tragedy that – that very person had undergone and had overcome grief that had tested his limits of endurance – without lamenting or blaming anyone for the painful incidents in his life. On becoming aware of the unfortunate events that had taken place in his life – we are left surprised – that there was not an inflection of pain in his voice ; no sign at all that he was seeking self – pity from anyone ; no visible trace of the anguish and suffering that he had gone through. It is very rare to come across such individuals. Isn’t it ? And, we are left wondering as to how did he manage to steel himself in the face of such melancholy and misery ? When we meet individuals like them – we react by saying – ‘ उनको देख कर ऐसा कोई भी नही कह सकता कि उन्होंने इतना दुख देखा होगा …’ And , we are left wondering as to how did he not raise a hue and cry about the cruel manner in which he had been treated by God. The answer to this is very simple – ” जो मनुष्य सुखी रहना चाहते हैं – वो अपने आतंरिक जगत् को मजबूत बनाते हैँ और वो मनुष्य हमेशा दुखी रहते हैं जो हर बात के लिए बाहरी जगत् को दोषी ठहराते हैं …”

We need to remember that – happy people build their inner world and unhappy people blame their outer world. Thus , we must work steadily to strengthen our inner world with layers of faith and belief in God and happily surrender ourselves to His will.