Dedicated to Swamiji Ajay Jain ji

Swami ji said …

There are many among us who have, unfortunately, for some reason or another, witnessed their plans and dreams drift away into thin air. Desires vanquished – just when they were on the verge of realising fulfilment. We all, in some way or another, have felt a sense of anguish on seeing our life fall apart. We have gone through bouts of melancholy on suffering setbacks and faced the darkness of gloom that descends, refusing to let any ray of light and hope get through to us. We become just a shadow of who we once were. The extra baggage of hopelessness and dejection that we carry with us not only eats into us, but, is visible and palpable to all – although we might not be aware of it. We somehow feel that by projecting a false, superficial face of happiness to others – people are not able to detect that something is amiss and that all is not well at our end. We fail to realise that while making a herculean effort of ‘pretending’ to be happy and alright – we try a bit too hard and that extra effort is not missed by others.

On seeing us looking thoroughly uninspired, lacklustre and crestfallen – others known to us and at times unknown people too – give us their advice; share their personal experiences of loss and gain. They share how they overcame hardships and suggest ways and means of getting ‘help’ from ‘outside’ sources. Many might even tell us to – “Stay motivated! Stay inspired!”

But, we once again return to the point in consideration – what is ‘that’ one thing that can make us feel strong and confident and say – “Yes , I can do it! Things will be perfectly fine once again! I have to regain my confidence!” Nothing and no one else can make us feel recharged and rejuvenated unless and until – ‘we’ – ourselves take it upon ourselves to feel so, say words to this effect repeatedly, and, see magic and miracles unravel before ourselves.

There is no disputing the fact that it is essential to read inspiring stories and know about inspirational personalities, in order to implement all that we learn from these – during sudden, unexpected developments in our life. ” हम अपने आप को प्रेरित रखने के लिए हर जगह देखते हैं… बस अपने भीतर नहीं देखते हैं…” Our biggest loss is our inability to see that it is nowhere else, but, in our mind that we win or lose…” अगर हमें कोई वास्तव में प्रेरित कर सकता है – तो वो सिर्फ हमारे अपने, खुद के विचार होते हैं…”

We need to understand that half the battle is won in our mind – and if we succeed in making up our mind and let positivity rule there – nothing remains ‘impossible’ from then onwards. But, rather than steadying and strengthening our mind with an iron resolve – we are more than happy to go to counsellors and therapists – completely forgetting that it is our ‘own’ thoughts – which can work wonders – in energising and galvanizing us.There is no doubt that medical or professional help could be needed in extreme cases – but , many a times, the cure can be found by us – as it is within ourselves. We just need to drown out all the external disturbing , distorting sounds that do not let us hear clearly the messages that our inner being tries to transmit to us. Once we fine tune – the message is as clear as crystal to us.

Can we relate with the elation and exhilaration of those of us who are successful in understanding that the greatest source of motivation – apart from God’s Grace and the ‘gyan’ imparted to us by a self – realised ‘guru’ – are our own thoughts ? Thoughts that encourage us and spur us – to have faith in ourselves and which lead us to believe that we are capable of doing anything and everything – irrespective of where life takes us. Why do we allow anyone else to play the role of a ‘motivator’ in our life – when we ourselves – each one of us – can be our own motivator ? Shouldn’t this privilege exclusively be ours?

Did Shri Ram bemoan His fate and curse His destiny on being exiled to the forest for fourteen long years ? Did He lose composure and seek motivation from an external source ? No. His thoughts – which were always pure and well – intentioned – detached themselves from the kingly duties that He was about to take over – to those of one who had been banished from His kingdom – with the same sense of readiness and acceptance. He saw no difference in living a life as a king – as desired by His father – or living a life in acute hardships , filled with challenges in the forest – as commanded by His stepmother. Is it possible for us to attain this level of equanimity – ever ?

Swami ji said …

“ज़िंदगी में इतने उतार- चढ़ाव क्यों हैं ?” “ज़िन्दगी- मुझे अब और क्या दिखाएगी ? “मेरी ज़िंदगी में यह क्या हो रहा है?” – are some of the questions put up by many of us to ‘life’ – no matter how old or young we could be. We never stop questioning ‘life’, holding it accountable for the ‘bad’ that is happening in our life and labelling
‘ज़िन्दगी’ as ‘अच्छी’ या ‘बुरी’. Good or bad.

How convenient it is for us to do that! Since we are so efficient at making someone else a scapegoat – it is the turn of poor, hapless ‘life’ – to bear the brunt of our wrong, incorrect choices – when we indulge ourselves by doing what makes us feel ‘happy’ – without giving much thought to the consequences of our actions – and later on, on seeing an untoward outcome – we counter attack ‘ज़िन्दगी’ and declare that – ‘ मेरी जिंदगी बहुत ‘बुरी’ चल रही है …”

Somehow, in a strange way, we tend to bypass the main issue – that we are only blessed with ‘life’ … ” हमें जीने का एक मौक़ा दिया जाता है …” We are provided with a golden opportunity to live a ‘life’. Life doesn’t come to us as good or bad. It is ‘we’ – each one of us – who make it either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – by living and leading a life that makes it either of the two.The inclination and responsibility of living a worthy or unworthy life rests completely with us. But, rather, than being answerable for our ‘bad’ options – we find it easier to play a blame – game with life.

If we were asked today – ” तुम बड़ा आदमी बन ना चाहोगे या अच्छा आदमी ” – what would our honest answer be ? Our chorus in unison could be – ‘बड़ा आदमी’ – as, so greatly enamoured are we at the very thought of being a moneyed , powerful and influential individual. Maybe, we wrongly feel, that leading a life focussing entirely on creation of wealth and assets is more beneficial – than standing firmly by the values of honesty and goodness that had been our pillars in the past.There is no doubt in the fact that it is essential to do well in life ; to achieve what has been achieved by very few – but, if, we attain our dreams at the cost of giving up our scruples and values – then it is time for us to give importance to the essence of nurturing – ‘अच्छाई ‘ in us – the ‘goodness’ which we have allowed to drift away in the deluge of the greed of materialism. A balance has to be maintained to not let the ‘good’ in us be swept out by the ‘bad’. Let us not forget that it is good to rise in life, but, it is always better to be a good human being.

Similarly, again, don’t we have a choice when it comes to choosing friends and others with whom we want to maintain proximity ?
‘अच्छी’ संगत में रहने से और अच्छे लोगों से मिलने जुलने से हम हमेशा अच्छी आदतें , अच्छे संस्कार और अच्छे विचार रखेंगे …” But, then, again – this is a personal choice and those looking for excitement and adventure might find ‘good’ company boring and unfashionable. In a rush to be ‘known’ by others we are willing to compromise on anything and everything – in order to be accepted by them. Can we really retain goodness unless we exercise some self – restraint on ourselves ? The element of goodness in us can be wiped out within a fraction of a second – if we are willing to submit to the power of ‘bad’.

Don’t we meet people who smartly suggest a way out of a tricky situation in which we find ourselves – by telling us – “तुम ऐसे बोल देना … झूठ है तो क्या हुआ…बच जाओगे ?” – and we obediently follow the direction shown by them – forsaking the path of honesty – just that once – we promise
ourselves, but , find it very difficult to get back onto the path of honesty after doing so – as dishonesty makes us lose our way very quickly.

” हमें यह याद रखना चाहिए कि अपनी ज़िंदगी को अच्छा या बुरा बनाना सिर्फ़ हम पर निर्भर करता है … हम इस के लिए किसी और को दोषी नहीं ठहरा सकते हैं… हमें हमेशा अपनी ज़िंदगी को अच्छा बनाने की कोशिश करनी चाहिए…”

Swami ji said…

Time is all knowing. It knows of all that has taken place in the life of each one of us. Nothing escapes the watchful eye of ‘time’ – the only true, yet, silent witness to our pleasures and pain; our regrets and moments of applause; our hopes and the sadness felt on facing rejection. It rejoices with us in our good times and tries to comfort us when we are inconsolable ;
provides us with solutions during the duress of dilemma. And, when sorrow settles in, it offers a gentle hand to help us through. In times of uncertainty, it whispers its wisdom – offering us clarity when all seems lost. And later rewards our patience and perseverance Through it all, time remains with us – an unchanging friend, walking by our side – from the moment of our birth to our last breath.

Is it not prudent then, to recognize the many faces of time? One moment it surprises us, lifting us on the wings of joy, and, the next, it leaves us shell-shocked in sorrow and pain. Yet, in all its moods, time teaches us resilience. It shows us that on days when we falter, we can rise again the next day – braver, stronger, determined. It reminds us that even when the skies are gray and our hearts are heavy with doubt, we carry within us the seed of hope, ready to bloom when the clouds part.

It pats us proudly on our back when we bask in the glow of success; and, holds our back to prevent us from taking a fall in distress and despair. Time – as we all know – waits for no man; but, at the same time, it is forgiving and is willing to give us fresh opportunities – to learn from our mistakes; make a sincere, honest effort not to repeat them; improve ourselves and become better than we were before. Is there any point in living a life, year after year, without being an honest critique of ourselves ? Will we keep on accepting our flaws and shortcomings, and, make no attempt whatsoever to work on them – and emerge as a more evolved person?

We have often heard our elders say – ‘समय’ के साथ सब ठीक हो जाता है, अच्छा हो जाता है …” But, what we need to remember is that – “परन्तु ऐसा होने के लिए हमें मेहनत करनी होगी, सुधरना होगा…”And, needless to say, time, with its infinite patience, would be proud to see us strive, not for perfection, but, for progress – slow, steady, and sure. It asks only that – we make the effort to make amends – in a way that would make us a worthier, nobler person.

Time, of course, is a great teacher. A spiritual teacher. Why does it take us through the extremes of good and bad repeatedly like the seasons that come and go? Why does it expose us repeatedly to the crests and troughs of fortune? It does so, so that we recognise and accept this uncertainty of life, and, realise that through all this there is God that is constant. That is what time really tries to teach us. Once we see how unpredictable life is, we start focussing and looking for that which is constant. We begin to seek the ability to remain undisturbed by the turning tides of time. Of course, the only answer to this is God’s Grace. Those who have it, see good and bad times as what it is – time and just time – passing by.

Everything is temporary and bound to pass. Nothing in this world is constant – that is what time teaches us. It is thus nudging us to reflect and recognise the world we are ‘in’ and look ‘beyond’ – at our final destination.

Swami ji said…

We dream. All of us do that. Don’t we ? Dream of a life that has a fairy – tale like beginning and a perfect ending. But, on a reflective note – is it really possible for us to live a life that can in any way be close to a perfect dream – magical , a smooth sail – where we don’t hit any rough patch ? Well, if, any of us find ourselves entertaining such fanciful , utopian thoughts – then we certainly are living in fool’s paradise – because no one, none of us – can live a life that is untouched by obstacles, hindrances and challenges… ” Humare jivan mein चुनौतियाँ zaroor aaengi – aur woh kisi bhi kshann humare saamne aa sakti hain…” It is just that we somehow feel that – ‘चुनौतियाँ’ हमारे अच्छे खासे चलते हुए जीवन में रुकावट बन के नहीं आएंगी…’
We can only wish and hope for this – as the privilege of what is going to happen with us ; to us – is known to ‘life’ alone.

But, one thing that we must understand is that challenges play an integral part in the game of life. We could be the richest or the poorest individual in the world ; but , adversities and difficult times – do not differentiate between status and rank and will most definitely come looking for us – the manner in which and when they are supposed to come. Although challenges arrive quietly and soundlessly – they leave behind echoes – that are deafening – for those who face their wrath and anger.

” ‘चुनौतियाँ’ हमारे जीवन मैं हमेशा आती हैं और ज़रूर आएंगी…”
We cannot run away from the reality of this bitter truth. We can only wish them away – but , arrive they will at their will – and it is when they punch us and jab us – that we too should gather the courage, the strength and the faith – that will most certainly be needed by us – to meet and overcome the challenge with grit , determination and confidence.
” चुनौतियाँ का सामना करने के लिए उनसे संघर्ष करने के लिए हमे हमेशा तैयार रहना चाहिए …”

But, a life that revolves completely around material pursuits – could receive a jolt , a shock – on seeing a setback coming its way. We should be ashamed of ourselves, if , we only wish for a life that is replete with enjoyment and luxury ! Inspite of possessing the best that one could ever dream of owning – our fickle mind could still make us long for more. Just for a second let us try to visualise – how greedy and grasping we sound – praying to God to give us ‘more’ and ‘more’ all the time ; not once expressing our contentment by saying that – ‘He’ has given us ‘enough’ – infact – ‘more’ than enough.What is our reaction ; our response – when the very comfortable life that we have been leading – surrounded by pleasures and comforts galore – is abruptly checked by a life altering development – in the form of an unanticipated challenge.

And, at , the first sight
of a disconcerting development ; an unthinkable challenge – in the distant horizon – we just freeze and get into a mode of outright submission and surrender. The thought of putting up a fight is the last thing on our mind – and we accept defeat immediately – and without even trying we say – ” मुझ में संघर्ष करने की ताकत नहीं है…इस चुनौती से लड़ने के लिए मुझ में हिम्मत नहीं है…”

Do we believe in the words of the prayer that are said by us – when we invoke God to give us the strength to face blows which unexpectedly land on us ? Why do we find it so difficult to understand that if we can enjoy the pleasures of life – then why do we question the pain that we have to endure, suffer?
‘ सुख के समय हम ख़ुशी में इतना खो जाते हैं – कि हम सुख से कोई सवाल ही नहीं करते हैं? मगर मुश्किल समय में, ‘चुनौतियाँ के सामने…” – we are filled with agony – and question ‘it’ – as to why did it befall us ? Why is there such a difference in our attitude during moments of ecstasy and agony ? Why do we break under the assumed weight of difficulties so easily ? We’ve been always told that every problem has a solution and thus , we , too, will find ways of overcoming the challenge – once we set our mind on doing so.

We need to remind ourselves that rather than pitying ourselves ; cursing our luck and looking at every unwanted development with suspicion ; as a foe , an enemy and giving up without a fight – let us instead focus on the positives that we are able to build within us ; draw from our inner most being.The spirit of not giving up ; rising to meet the challenge with the attitude of a winner and a mind set on being victorious – is what we build within ourselves – while facing challenges – bravely … ” हम इतने कमज़ोर तो नहीं बन सकते हैं कि जो चुनोती हमारे सामने आई है हम उसका सामना करने की कोशिश भी नहीं करें…हमारी लड़ने की ताकत कहां चली गयी?’

Planning , preparing and strategising to overcome difficulties and challenges make life interesting and exciting too – to a certain extent – as we come to know so much more about ourselves. The traits, capabilities and strength that were inherently within us – but , which were previously unknown to us – are now revealed to us and we start using them to our advantage. Could any learning be greater than this ?

Nothing could be worse than just giving up and submitting to the overwhelming situation that we find ourselves in – as that is not what God and our ‘guru’ would expect from us. ” याद रखो – हम में से जो चुनौतियों के बारे में सोच कर ही घबरा जाते हैं, वह आगे कभी कुछ नहीं कर पाएंगे…”

Swami ji said…

How do most of us react when we hear that someone has said something adverse about us ; against us ; harbours ill – will against us ? Our reaction is immediate and instantaneous. Isn’t it ? We are angry and irked. We furiously ask the other person – who felt that it was his sacred duty to report first hand to us – who that ‘someone’ is, who has said something about us behind our back – without thinking for a second about the consequences that could arise from the seeds of doubt that they are able to plant in our mind – by doing so. The possibility that all that is being whispered into our ears by them needs to be cross checked by us – is silently rejected by us – as the treacherous mind finds favour in letting a ‘misunderstanding’ – ‘ एक गलतफहमी ‘ – take shape in our mind.

And , from that moment onwards – we promise ourselves – ” I’m not going to talk to him from today onwards…” ” I don’t ever want to see him again …” and, if, we opt for a direct confrontation with a mind filled with anger – it could find us in an extremely bitter and tasteless situation – as it would make us stoop down to very low levels – the kind which we had never thought of indulging in, and , would instead make us feel ashamed later – on thinking that we could have behaved in a manner so unbecoming of us.

Words have great power and, thus,
all that we hear ; whatever we hear – that has been said by whosoever – is literally lapped up by our ears – and we, maybe, take them more seriously than God’s words. We take this ‘hearsay’ personally ; as a personal attack – so much so – that the slightest possibility of not blindly believing the words – that have been ‘narrated’ to us ; and instead approach the matter with a calm , and , not an agitated mind – just does not strike us. It is because of a simple reason – ” ‘गलतफहमी’ जब एक बार हमारे दिमाग़ मे बस जाती है तब वह हमे सच ‘देखने’ नहीं देती …”

Wouldn’t it be better – if we were to give a serious thought to all that has been projected before us ; give a logical thought to the fact – whether the person named – could say something of that nature about us and above all get down to knowing whether it is true or fabricated ? Or is it a story that has been made by some trouble – makers to cause mischief between us and others – just because they are not happy at seeing trust and happiness thrive between us ? We must give a fair chance to the person who we by now have begun to abhor – and hear him out – before taking some drastic action against him. Wouldn’t it be better on our part to verify the truth of the matter from the so called ‘ culprit’ ? To question him directly and get a straight answer from him would would be the best , wouldn’t it ? ” Did you say words to this effect about me ? – and then hear his answer.

Years of trust , understanding and friendship are lost within a matter of seconds and for what purpose ! For a misunderstanding that has come out of nowhere – and to add to the problem – even, if , we were to suppose, in the hindsight , that maybe what we’ve heard about ourselves – could be true to a certain extent – the false sense of pride and arrogance that we have – will not let us hear and accept anything bad about us – even if it were to be true … ” हमारा ‘अहंकार’ हमे कभी भी सच ‘सुनने’ नहीं देता है…”

Our ego is like an impenetrable wall – that will not lay down its defences – at any cost. Even, if , it comes to harming and destroying relationships for ever between us, our friends and relatives. Friends turn into foes. Spouses separate. Business partners part ways. Siblings cut off relationships. All because – our ego tells us not to give in ; to take the initiative to clear the air. Our ‘ego’ – has such great control over us that it prevents us from taking the first sensible step and talk about the ‘hearsay’ – misunderstanding , directly – with the person concerned. Wouldn’t an attitude of this kind be more dignified and result – oriented rather than behaving in an inhumanly manner and resorting to other foolish methods to feel victorious and superior ? We need to remember -” हमारा ‘अहंकार’ और एक ‘गलतफहमी’ काफ़ी होती है हमे अपनों से जुदा, अलग करने के लिए…”