Category: Uncategorized

Swami ji said…

“मैं बताता हूं तुम्हें…” “तुम अगर मेरी बात मानो तो…” “मेरी सलाह यह है…” Let me tell you… “If you are willing to follow my advice…” It’s not uncommon to hear someone begin a sentence this way, only to launch into a long-winded monologue about how life should be lived or how one ought to behave — and this, many a time, when we might not even have sought their advice.

But it shouldn’t come as any surprise to us – to see many such ‘advisors’ who go around offering free advice. They urge others to stay calm, be strong, act professionally, and so on — pointing out exactly what they think the others are lacking or failing to do in any given situation.
And, more often than not, it is painfully obvious that what they are giving others is only ‘advice’ — mere words — which might never have been practised by them effectively. The one receiving it is usually left none the wiser, having merely traded time for empty words.

We are all guilty of behaving in this ‘holier-than-thou’ manner , nudging people into listening to the words of gospel that we are ready to offer them without charging a dime. “Could there be anyone better than us?” — we preen — much in love with our considerate selves and filled -with- concern for others personality. Some of us play this role very seriously and make it the purpose of our life…“जितना समय हम अपने जीवन का, दूसरों को, बिना मांगी हुई सलाह देने में बिता देते हैं — उतने समय में तो हम खुद की कमजोरियों को पीछे छोड़ देते…”

We love to sound like sages, delivering wisdom from a pedestal. We preach ideals we barely practise. And in doing so — despite quoting great men and speaking grand words — we merely add to the noise. For the truths we so freely offer, often lack the weight of experience or sincerity. In such moments, we are like a buttering knife, imagining ourselves to be swishing like a sword.

But why not be the change ourselves?
Wouldn’t that be the most genuine way to demonstrate our faith in our convictions?
If we truly believe that “Honesty is the best policy,” then let us first be fiercely honest in our own lives. Wouldn’t the result of living such a life serve as the most powerful example for others? Wouldn’t showing bravery in upholding the truth — even in the face of adversity — give others the courage to honour their own integrity?

How easily we tell others — “तुम डरते क्यों हो? चिंता की कोई बात ही नहीं…” — and this, when we could be shaking like a leaf merely at the thought of trouble heralding not too far away from our doorstep. We must value the words we say — all the more so when we are doling them out liberally in the form of advice. Let ‘them’ not be meaningless.
If we expect others to follow our guidelines and change — then what about a quick self-check to detect the positive changes that have come about in us by ‘advising’ ourselves?
“जिंदगी से इतनी शिकायत क्यों? तुम तो मज़े में हो…” — we express — without pausing to think about the number of times we complain about life, the problems that refuse to abate, and the struggle that life is.

A spiritual seeker must take upon himself the responsibility of working not only on the flaws and imperfections that he is aware are very much a part of him – but also bring about changes in himself that he would want to see in others. And above all to remember his ‘guru’s’ teachings – to never ever give unsolicited advice – but to do so only ‘when’ and ‘if’ someone asks for his advice.

Swami ji said…

Fear , भय , डर – is the emotion most familiar to man. To fear is in man’s nature. From the moment we are born, fear finds us —
The fear of falling, the fear of abandonment – can bring a child to tears. The fear of failure and rejection, loss and death, leads to anxiety and hesitation among adults.
There is no end to the masks it can wear and no circumstance in which it cannot arise. In the darkest of days, it can paralyse even the strong willed. And, at one’s peak of success, it can make the most capable begin to doubt his abilities. Such is the way fear operates in our minds. And it is fear that also drives us. It is nearly impossible that our actions, the paths we choose in life, are not in some way or another driven by this very fear.

There are stories of men, of beings – who worshipped God for ages to be granted a boon. It is said that more often than not, when God, pleased with their penance, did eventually appear before them, they would ask for immortality or some boon that would make it difficult or nearly impossible for them to die. Even in the presence of God, their ‘fear” of death was what led to them making their request. Not once did anyone think of asking God to grant them what He deemed fit for them. It is almost appalling to think that even after years of ‘tapasya’ – they were unable to see that it was not they, but God — the All-Knower, the All-Doer — who would know what it was that His children needed the most.

Thus, the only lesson to take away from this is: if we ever ask anything of God, it must be to grant us ‘wisdom’, to grant us ‘knowledge’ – so that we can be free of fear, and see His ways, trust Him and place our fate in His hands. Only then can one truly live a fearless and happy life. We all must reflect on this.

Even those among us who, truly believe with all our being in God, are only praying to Him for one thing or another. Our ego convinces us that we know what life is all about and what we need. But do we really? Can we truly fathom Krishna’s great ‘leela’ before our eyes?

Why do we simply not ask God for clarity of thought ? To free us from the confused state in which we always find our minds knotted ? To be accountable for our actions – and not make it a habit of acting in haste, regret later but still refuse to learn from it. To learn the importance of reflecting and pausing before taking a decision. Do we think only about our selfish interests and not bother about the repercussions it could have on others ? Are we sure that others will not be hurt and harmed by our decision?” Do we consider for a moment whether –
” हम कोई भी निर्णय लेते हुए सत्य का साथ छोड़ तो नहीं रहे हैं ?” ” हम वो ही कर रहे हैं जिस से हमारी आत्मा को कभी भी कोई पीडा नहीं हो सकती है…”

Why do we not ask Him for calmness of mind ? Why do we not ask Him to simply reveal to us what life truly is ? Why do we ask Him for everything else but सद्बुद्धि ? After all, it is only when we ‘wisen up to His plans’ that we can live life with our eyes truly open. It is only then that we will no longer be blinded by fear – but lit up with pure thoughts , bear love for all , be aware of our actions and refuse to deviate from the road taken by us – one of honesty and truthfulness. Instead of groping in the darkness of ignorance – we will be liberated – as the sense of peace and certainty that has settled within us now – will remain unaffected by the changing tunes of life.

Swami ji said…

The world admires confidence — one that walks into rooms with practiced certainty,
speaks clearly, dresses well, earns praise, and seems to have everything under control.
From movies to fables, we have all seen great ‘protagonists’ carry themselves with such confidence. We are told, in no uncertain terms, that it is only such men and women who rise to the top, get things done, and run the world on their own terms.

And we are all left in awe of such people. They seem to have superpowers. They do not suggest; instead, they simply dictate and order. They do not guess; they simply know things to be true. They do not try to ascertain the future; they see it, know it, and prophesise it.

Yes, it would be wonderful if we could be like them – we wish with a sigh. The swagger, the hint of arrogance, the cult-like following — who would not want to have all this? But this is not self-confidence. This is often — a मुखौटा — a façade to hide one’s own vulnerabilities and weaknesses from the world. How can something borne of fear – be called confidence?

True self-confidence is softer, deeper, and far more enduring. It does not announce itself. It does not posture, nor does it demand. It is humble and yet strong. It simply rests — silently — in the heart of the one who knows that he is loved by God and he too has complete faith in God.

Let us turn our thoughts to Shri Hanuman. Even though He is God himself, He still took Lord Shri Ram’s name, before jumping across the ocean. Even He did not have adequate faith in Himself to achieve such a monumental task. But on surrendering Himself to Shri Ram, He was able to achieve the impossible. Such is the power of surrender to God.

But what does surrender to God truly mean? It means that, come light or rain, nothing that this world has to offer us should truly affect us. We must treat it like God’s play and let it unfold before us. We must keep our faith in Him and Him alone and understand that if He is allowing us to witness and rejoice in the pleasures of the world today, then we should not be saddened by its misery tomorrow. It is only when we have mastered this that we can say we have surrendered ourselves to God and placed our confidence in the Supreme. That He will give us the maturity to handle happiness without getting too attached to it and give us the confidence needed to accept and overcome difficulties with ease and a sense of equanimity.

Life is full of uncertainties; almost nothing goes as planned. It is, but natural, for us to second-guess ourselves all the time. But when we let ourselves be guided by God’s hand — place our faith, and thereby our actions, in His words and teachings — then we are immune to the fear of the vagaries of life.

We remain calm and composed and sure of ourselves not because we know the future, but, because we do not fear it. We speak in a sure manner, and are firm in our conviction, because we know that we are being led through this web of illusions by its Creator Himself. This confidence is not derived from our physical or mental abilities, but is rooted in the faith that we have placed in the strength of God.

A ‘saccha bhakt’ of a self – realised ‘guru’ finds himself literally armed with confidence – on just recalling the words said by his ‘guru’ to him – “Main har pal tumhare saath hoon…” He needs to remember his ‘guru’ and with all the knowledge that he has acquired from Him – he should set out for his mission with an honest mind and pure heart and the results will be there for him to see.

Swami ji said…

Man has always been drawn by the questions of his existence.
As he stumbles through life — navigating its various turns, surviving its storms, and occasionally pausing to celebrate fleeting victories — a subtle question persists:
“What is the meaning of it all?” He wonders that despite all the changes around him — he feels the same within — as if he is merely passing through a cycle of emotions and circumstances repeatedly, like the seasons of the year. No matter what he does — a new routine, new friends, new hobbies, new jobs — he does not feel any real change within. He remains the same — uncertain, restless, incomplete and discontent – as though waiting for something special to occur – something that will make him feel whole and at peace with himself. He knows that something is amiss — that deep within him he needs something, or someone, to explain to him what this ‘life’ is. To show him how to live ‘it’ in a way that is not clouded by doubt and fear.

It is at such moments, without any applause or fanfare, that a Guru enters one’s life.
Before the शिष्य — the disciple — even realises it, the Guru appears in his life — not necessarily in a physical form straightaway, but, perhaps through scriptures or books, dreams or an inner voice. Those blessed with a ‘self realised’ Guru will certainly confirm this. For it has always been this way. Krishna came into Arjun’s life much before Arjun declared himself to be Krishna’s disciple on the battlefield of ‘कुरुक्षेत्र’.

How and when a Guru enters a disciple’s life, is known only to the Guru —
as it is the Guru who comes of His own will, to guide and uplift His disciple – at the moment deemed fit by Him. Even a mother is unable to do this for her child. But, a Guru can – with His divine ways. Is His divine love for His devotee – then not greater than even a parent’s love? Is the love a Guru has for his disciples not, then, truly unparalleled?

A Guru is the dispeller of darkness from our lives — one who illuminates the mind with knowledge — ‘True knowledge’ – that helps us understand this world and shows us how to steer through it with awareness and grace. What He has realised through His own struggles and efforts, He grants us freely — out of love, without hesitation, without any strings attached.

In today’s world, we are hesitant to even listen to a stranger on the street — let alone engage in conversation.
Yet a Guru listens to His disciple’s struggles — physical and emotional — with a smile on His face, and then offers not just empathy, but , real solutions – the concrete results of which are visible to them within a short span of time.
The divine love that He nurses for His ‘bhakts’ – makes Him smile in His devotees happiness and ‘feel’ their grief in their moments of sorrow – when He provides them with all the inner strength needed by them – to stand firm in turbulent waters.

Who in this world is more magnanimous than a ‘saccha sant’ ? Who is as selfless, as compassionate, as giving – as a Guru? And, yet , despite having a self – realised ‘guru’ in our lives, we — the disciples — so easily forget His importance – once He sheds His physical being. The mind, distracted by everything around it, keeps pushing the Guru , as if , ‘out’ of our awareness. It instead fixates on certain people, prioritises fleeting relationships, immerses itself in projects, ambitions, or , worldly pleasures.
It always finds a reason to postpone remembrance, to delay surrender, to neglect gratitude. Until trouble strikes.

It is only when circumstances become challenging once again — when difficulties confront us — that the ‘spiritual’ element in us – awakens once again. We remember the Guru — our true guide , our best friend — and run back to His shelter, hoping He will once again hand-pick us out of the storm. Desperately, we wait for His grace to shield us, guide us, and rescue us — as He always has in the past — and He in His loving , unassuming manner continues to do so – whether we devotees are still devoted to Him or not. A devotee might leave His Guru, but, a Guru stands by His devotee – as once He makes him His – He never deserts him.

” ऐसा कहा और माना जाता है कि — “शादियाँ स्वर्ग में बनती हैं…” It is said and believed that – ” Marriages are made in heaven…” and it is in the presence of God and with His blessings that -“फेरे लिए जाते हैं…”- vows are exchanged in which couples, irrespective of their age, with faces lit up with adoration, express their undying love for one another ; promise to support each other through thick and thin ; to face and overcome the ups and downs of life together ; to care and share. Every word is said with deep love and profound meaning at the time of the wedding. And, everything – the picture perfect celebrations, the excitement, joy and cheer – all clearly point towards everlasting happiness for the couple. But, then, why is it today – that one hears more often than he would like to hear, and , is completely taken aback on hearing that the couple that was very much in love till just yesterday – has separated and is on the threshold of a divorce?

Where does the beauty of the love that had shone from their faces disappear to be replaced by the ugliness of dislike and hatred for one another ? The promises made to ‘care’ and ‘share’ are forgotten and instead an attitude of – ‘ I couldn’t care less’ – takes over the once much in love couple, who now are literally on a warpath and refuse to look at each other’s face. Intervention from concerned parents and elders is not even sought, at times, and not paid heed to, if, given – as they appear to be absolutely sure of the ‘final’ step that they have decided to take. It is as though they have made up their mind that there is no turning back from the decision that has been taken by them. The worst part is to hear a couple say that living together had been like living in ‘hell’. Could anything be worse than to hearing this? And, the most important question that arises then is – ” Who is to be blamed for the situation to have taken such a drastic turn – when
affection is easily replaced with coldness and calculated planning?”

Is it possible that the couple had started taking each other for granted and forgotten that the marital bond between them could either be strengthened or weakened by their actions? Constant effort and attention ; warmth and care is needed for a relationship to grow further and become stronger. Is it possible that the superficial aspects of life precede the subtle ’emotional’ undercurrents – which tend to fade with time – as ‘attractive’ materialism beckons one of them to move on to new relationships ? Is it possible that ‘this’ attitude has pervaded into the way couples view their relationship? Comparison with other couples who are doing doing much better than them – and frustration at not being able to do so themselves – is a major cause of marital discord – which makes them look hither and thither. Being critical all the time of one’s spouse ; humiliating him in front of others will only add insult to injury. Won’t it ? One could complain – ” How insignificant he looks ! He talks in such an unimpressive way and is not well versed on conducting himself socially!”- leading to friction between them. ” Does he work in a reputed organisation ? What are his earnings?” – are questions – the answers to which, if, found to be unimpressive, can overrule completely, the positives that one could otherwise see in the logical manner in which he thinks and the perfect gentleman that he could be? So foolish can young couples be at times !

Mistakes are made by all. An attempt should be made by a spouse to give a second chance to the one who has erred. Talk things over. Why has the younger lot become so unforgiving ? Doesn’t the sacred nature of a wedding hold any meaning for them? Or have they become selfish to such an extent that their individual happiness alone means everything to them – even if it comes to separating the children from one parent ? Do they try to bond over beliefs and similar viewpoints – instead of harping on their ‘failed’ expectations from one another ? Why don’t they try to talk things over with a calm mind – instead of arguing in a heated manner? Do the trials and tribulations of everyday life , the demanding routine – make them blind to the struggles of the one who is closest to them? Do they take for granted the presence of the other in their life without lauding his contributions in their life ? They must remember to be mindful in their relationships and learn to acknowledge that neither of them is perfect and that they will err and do so repeatedly. They must be patient with each other when one struggles and celebrate when one succeeds. Life can be wonderful when we accept and overlook the differences that we see in our loved ones – as love conquers all and hatred begets hatred.