“अपने’दृष्टिकोण’ को बदलने से जीवन आनंदमय बनता है…”

Swami ji said…

Plummeting temperatures, icy cold winds and the biting nip of the winter season – makes us complain unhappily about its harsh, severe nature. And instead of enjoying the magical, wondrous, different mood of ‘सृष्टि’ – we long impatiently for spring to arrive, all the while saying wistfully…’बसंत ऋतु आने ही वाली है …ये ठंड बस अब कुछ ही दिनों की है…’ Isn’t an attitude and approach of this kind a clear give away of how we refuse to live in the present ; are unable to find happiness in the moment before us – but are certain that we will find joy in the days ahead ? ” ऐसा लगता है कि हम बिल्कुल भूल जाते हैं कि हर हाल में ‘आनंदित’ रहने के लिए – ‘मौसम’ और ‘सृष्टि’ को नहीं – बल्की हमारे ‘दृष्टिकोण’ को बदलने की ज़रुरत है …” “Why can’t we think of ways and means of drawing happiness and enjoy all that is happening around us – rather than wait for something that is yet to happen?

The script of our willing to be ‘unhappy’ – in any scenario remains unchanged – as the scorching heat, the blistering sunlight of the summer season ensures that we continue lamenting about the discomfort suffered by us
in the intensity of the heat. And once again we hope against hope for the early onset of the monsoon – as the cooling showers of rain are much needed by us – by then. Our habit of ‘cribbing’ continues – even after the summer season comes to an end – as shortly afterwards – torrential rains add to the mayhem caused by the monsoons – causing inconvenience and added problems for us. Doesn’t it look like we are thrown off gear in any situation and circumstance that is slightly different than what we had hoped for and wanted it to be like?

We expect people to behave with us exactly the way we want them to at a particular moment. Not once do we pause to consider as to what could have made them conduct themselves in a manner so different from what we had expected from them. Perhaps they had a pressing issue on their mind which might have elicited an indifferent, dry response from them. A slight change in our perspective will most certainly reveal things to us in a different light. We must stop creating a fuss over insignificant and trivial issues that will undoubtedly come our way – in some form or another – in our daily lives and unless and until we change our way of thinking – we will always remain unhappy and tense. ‘Why did this happen?’ ‘Why did this not happen ?’ Half our lives our spent in pondering over these issues.

We can make life less complicated by understanding that things happen the way they are meant to happen. Life only works that way. Acceptance of every single occurance in our life – without resistance – and with complete surrender in His divine will – will keep us in a state of contentment and prevent us from unnecessary overthinking. Why should we allow anyone or anything to take away our happiness from us ?

It is next to impossible to believe even for a second that our lives can be picture perfect and no ripples will ever disturb the smooth surface of our lives.” Mushkil समय humare jeevan mein zaroor aata hai aur aayega…” – and it is during these challenging moments that we will be made aware of our capabilities , our strengths – that were earlier unknown to us. Once we realise that rather than just holding our heads, feeling sad and crying over spilt milk – we must think of solutions – we will be pleasantly surprised on seeing that a changed, calm and positive approach – will see us overcome problems with ease. How confident and happy will we feel on seeing our new approach and mindset reward us in this way !

A spiritual seeker must remain unaffected by the encouragement or disdain that he could receive from those – known and unknown to him – while on his meditative path. Neither should he feel over confident nor falter – at any stage – but continue with determination and faith to the call that has been received by him. He should know that his final goal can only be achieved – with a heart that is filled with love and joy – for His Creator and with complete trust follow His instructions that can be heard only by him.

“हमें लोगों की तारीफ़ करने में इतनी तकलीफ़ क्यों होती है?”

Swami ji said…

How do we feel when someone compliments us ; appreciates a particular trait or talent of ours ; praises us for something commendable that has been done by us or lauds us for a remarkable accomplishment ? We feel good. Don’t we ! Rather we feel great as a warm glow of happiness settles on us – on being singled out and recognised by others for a quality – that is unique to us and makes us distinctive from others. We don’t mind receiving and hearing those complimentary words again and again. In fact , we don’t tire of running them over and over again in our mind – and smile as we hug those well wishing, well meaning words.

But are we equally good , gracious and ‘giving’ while complimenting others ? Are we magnanimous and large – hearted while doing so or do words acknowledging
and honouring the distinctive characteristics of others – get lodged, stuck in our throat – as a tinge of jealousy and envy could make us think twice before complimenting them ? ” Do I really need to compliment him ? ” ” Does he really deserve the praiseworthy words that I’m about to say to him?” – are the doubts that come to our mind unnecessarily. If we can receive compliments happily – why can’t we compliment others with a happy heart and an open mind ?” कितनी बार ऐसा होता है की हम चिढ़ जाते हैं जब कोई, किसी और की तारीफ़ हमारे सामने करते है…” and small – hearted that we are – we immediately try to draw that person’s attention away from his ‘attributes’ – by instead urgently highlighting the ‘drawbacks’ that ‘we’ find in ‘that’ person. We are willing to try every trick in the book to stop that person from being complimented. Have we ever tried to understand as to what is it – “जो हमें किसी की तारीफ़ करने या सुन ने से रोकता है… हम दूसरे की उपलब्धि पे, उनकी प्रगति पे, अच्छे कार्य करने के
लिए, किसी की सुंदरता पे – ‘वाह’ बोलने में, ‘दो अच्छे’ शब्द बोलने मैं इतना कतराते क्यों हैं ?

Is it that the stress , negativity and doubt that we find ourselves submerged in – has made us forget that words used by us to compliment others – ” वाह! क्या बात! Outstanding ! Well done ! Exceptional ! “- are the most beautiful words – as we not only win over others – with our positive words ; make them experience joy – but also encourage them to continue the good work ; boost their morale further which is already high ; make them feel their effort is worth it – as it is rewarded with recognition in the form of compliments ?
At the same time – when we give others compliments –
our ego which otherwise always has a problem in acknowledging the merits of others ; which refuses to see good in others – also begins to relent. It starts appreciating – all that is to be
appreciated in others and finally agrees to bend ; to
give in and honour the good in others. “हमारा अहंकार भी झुकना सीखता है…”

If we are honest with ourselves – we shouldn’t have great difficulty in admitting that it hurt us greatly when our teachers would praise the toppers in the class and shower compliments on them. We would find it difficult to swallow the laurels that the teachers would pamper them with and we would turn our faces away “चिढ़ के ” – and maybe , we would ‘try’ to find the right words to compliment them with a heavy heart. And this habit of ‘refraining’ from making the other person happy by saying a good word here and there, maybe, continued to grow further in some of us – even as we grew up. We seem to forget that the pleasure and delight that an unexpected compliment brings to a person’s face can be a visual treat for us – and that person too remembers us for the good words said to them and speaks of our graciousness to others. Can we really lose anything by doing so ? Will the sheen from our achievements and accomplishments wear off if we were to applaud others for theirs ? But at the same time – if any of us are lucky enough to receive more than our share of compliments- we must ensure that we don’t let them go to our head and begin to think that we are better than the rest and develop a condescending attitude towards others.

A spiritual seeker should not let words of appreciation and praise from his ‘gurudev’ – about his unwavering devotion to God and commendable progress on the spiritual path affect him to such an extent that he starts assuming that he has attained his final goal ; can afford to sit pretty in the coming days and True Knowledge will come his way on its own. In fact , his ‘gurudev’s’ words of encouragement should motivate him to further intensify his efforts in his pursuit of ‘self – realisation’. At the same time , he should not let any pangs of jealousy consume his being on seeing his ‘gurudev’ compliment another devotee on his spiritual growth – as he needs to know that a ‘saccha sant’ looks at all His devotees without fear or favour – and treats them in an equal and fair manner.

‘करुणा’

Swami ji said…

Shri Ram has always been a shining example of One who bore affection, compassion and love for all – irrespective of their status and state. His compassion and love for every individual was in no way affected – by the ‘physical’ fatigue ; the ‘mental’ exhaustion that He could have ‘suffered’ – during the days of hardship that He was destined to endure in His ‘human’ form. Armed with a disarming smile, love in His heart and patience to hear every one out – He conquered all – who were privileged enough to share His divine presence – with these rare and endearing qualities of His. Anger , rage and jealousy – were traits that were unknown to Him ; that He chose to keep far away from Him. His understanding of the devotion and pure love that Shabri bore for Him – made Him partake a ‘बेर ‘ unhesitatingly – that was first tasted by her, as she had wanted to check its sweetness, before offering it to Shri Ram.” ‘स्नेह ‘ और ‘प्रेम ‘ उनके हर भाव में दिखता था …वह दिल से सबसे स्नेह करते थे …”

At the same time we are also very well acquainted with Duryodhan – ” जिस ने अपना सारा जीवन ‘क्रोध ‘, ‘इर्ष्या और आवेश में बिता दिया … और ऐसे जीवन का उसे फल क्या मिला? दर्दनाक अंत …” It appears as though envy, hatred and constant anger had wiped out every trace of compassion and affection from his ‘being’ – making him impervious to human relationships. This is where we have to decide as to whose characteristics shouldn’t we draw strength from ?

Is the scenario in which we are living today making it easier for us to give into fits of rage – at times over the most trivial issues ? Are tough times around us ‘toughening’ us up literally – so much so that – ” क्या अब हमारे दिल में दूसरों के लिए स्नेह और प्रेम की भावनाओं के लिए जगह ही नहीं है? हम क्या भूल गए हैं कि प्रेम और स्नेह दिल में उत्पन्न होते हैं ? “Are we becoming so cold hearted – that compassion is gradually becoming a distant emotion – not very easy for us to nurture in our heart ? We don’t pause to think for a second before getting angry or about its consequences – both , on us and on others – but – ” हर किसी के लिए अपने भीतर करुणा रखना हमें बहुत मुश्किल लगता है …हम यह भूल जाते हैं की अपने भीतर करुणा और स्नेह रखने से हमारा ही फ़ायदा होता है, क्यूँकि हमारे व्यवहार में और निर्मलता आएगी…” दया का भाव” – develops a certain softness in us ; an understanding of the
difficulties that others are going through. We begin to transcend the barriers of – ” क्रोध का आवेश …” and a certain melt – down in our earlier hard hearted approach will be discerned by us.There is a major shift in our way of thinking ; in our attitude and behaviour towards those who we had earlier felt were not worthy of any ‘करुणा ‘ from our end. Resentment for others in the past that had made us say negative things against them – not only makes us feel small, but, is also regretted by us in the present time. We feel that we need to be more responsible with our actions and words for others in the future. Haven’t our elders always said – ” जोश से नहीं, होश से काम करो… गुस्से में हम कुछ भी कह दे ते हैं और जीवन भर पछताते हैं …”

Can a spiritual seeker seek God with a mind that was seething with rage till a few minutes back prior to his meditation ? The heart and mind will certainly take time to calm down from their earlier agitated state. The mind finds it difficult to prevent the images of anger from replaying over and over again in it. A mind that is calm , at ‘peace’ – and not in ‘pieces’ – will only be able to focus on God. A heart that is pure and suffused with ‘ स्नेह और प्रेम’ for God – will only be able to resonate with the syllables of the ‘गुरु- मंत्र ‘ – not a mind that is filled with the impurities of anger , fury and ill – will for others. Remember that flowers bloom when rain – drops fall from the clouds on them – and not due to the thundering sound that is made by the clouds.

” हम ‘धर्म’ के पथ पर चलने के बजाय ‘धन’ को क्यों चुनते हैं ?”

Swami ji said…

‘Money. Wealth. Property.’ The mere thought of the tinkle of coins , the feel of crisp notes in our hands, a plush home, a few acres of land here and there – and we sigh in contentment – as though assuring ourselves – that once we’ve finally acquired all of these – that are coveted by all – we will then be well set on our path of ‘discovering’ happiness.The myth that money can buy us happiness – ‘external’ happiness – which is only temporary, fleeting – as ‘happiness’ today is associated with material comforts , privilege and power – which once again are all transient in nature. We have developed a kind of a firm belief that – ” हमें सुख तब ही मिलेगा, जब धन हमारे घर में आएगा…” The ironical part is that man – who describes himself as the most intelligent creation of God – refuses to see beyond the glitter of money – and ignores the voice that reminds him to be sensible as there is no guarantee ; no written law which states – that money can and will bring him everlasting happiness.

Can any one of us guarantee that our health will remain perfect – once extra money makes its entry into our homes? Will the much desired increment in our pay package – keep us happy and stress- free, even, if, we are to burn the midnight oil day in and day out – unable to spend time with our family and friends? Won’t we become moody, ill – tempered – running to keep pace with the new demand from life ? ” क्या धन की प्राप्ति कभी भी, किसी भी तरह से दुख या तकलीफ़ को हमारे पास नहीं आने देगी?” Will suffering, grief or sorrow never knock on our gilded doors – on seeing wealth guard our main portals ? So besotted are we with the envisaged happiness of a wealthy, moneyed future – that we fail to see all the goodness that prevails in our present circumstances.In a stubborn way – we refuse to see anything good in our life that we are living in the present time – as we have already pinned our hopes on money to bring – सुखी समय – alongwith it in the future. “पैसे की चमक – धमाक में हम ये तक भूल जाते हैं कि ‘धर्म’ के जिस मार्ग पर हम आज चल रहे हैं – क्या हम कल उस पर चल पाएंगे भी या नहीं ? इस बात में कोई संदेह नहीं है कि जब हम ‘धर्म’ के पथ पर चलेंगे, जीवन ‘धर्म’ के अनुरूप बिताएंगे – तब ही हमारा जीवन सुखमय बनेगा…”

We need to be aware that greed and hunger for ‘money’ – not only corrupts the ‘mind’ – but also the ‘soul’. Their evil influence – not only blinds us to reason – but it also has the power to take away our ability to discern the difference between righteousness and wickedness ; prevents us from doing good ‘कर्म’ – and instead encourages us to indulge deliberately in bad ‘कर्म’ – from which there is no escape when we are in a rush to make some quick money. And why do we do this ? Only because we have made the foolish mistake of relating happiness with money.

Today if we were asked to make a choice between – ” जीवन भर ‘धर्म’ के रास्ते पर चलने के लिए या किसी भी तरह ‘धनी’ होने के लिए – तो हम क्या जवाब देंगे?” Most probably, we might opt to be the latter – as on seeing the fate of many who refused to ‘change’ with ‘changing’ times -” jinhone ‘dharm’ ke path par hi chalna chaha”- we feel it would not turn out to be profitable to emulate them. ” What did they achieve by remaining steadfast to their values and principles ? They have nothing today !” – is what we could say while evaluating them. But on seeing how prosperous are all those who had surrendered to the splendour of ‘धन’ – we somehow feel that it would be beneficial to follow them – who seem to form the majority today.

Would it be possible for a spiritual seeker to focus on his goal to merge with God – if his mind drifts constantly towards matters related to accumulation of wealth and assets ? Certainly not. Once he understands that his greatest assets are his mental strength and physical preparedness – which will enable him to to follow the path of righteousness – no amount of money can ever make him part with the bliss, peace and divine joy that he experiences by following his chosen path – from which he does not intend to deviate.

“हमें सच्ची प्रेरणा हमारे खुद के विचारों से ही मिलती है…”


Swami ji said …

There are many among us who have, unfortunately, for some reason or another, witnessed their plans and dreams drift away into thin air. Desires vanquished – just when they were on the verge of realising fulfilment. We all, in some way or another, have felt a sense of anguish on seeing our life fall apart. We have gone through bouts of melancholy on suffering setbacks and faced the darkness of gloom that descends, refusing to let any ray of light and hope get through to us. We become just a shadow of who we once were. The extra baggage of hopelessness and dejection that we carry with us not only eats into us, but, is visible and palpable to all – although we might not be aware of it. We somehow feel that by projecting a false, superficial face of happiness to others – people are not able to detect that something is amiss and that all is not well at our end. We fail to realise that while making a herculean effort of ‘pretending’ to be happy and alright – we try a bit too hard and that extra effort is not missed by others.

On seeing us looking thoroughly uninspired, lacklustre and crestfallen – others known to us and at times unknown people too – give us their advice; share their personal experiences of loss and gain. They share how they overcame hardships and suggest ways and means of getting ‘help’ from ‘outside’ sources. Many might even tell us to – “Stay motivated! Stay inspired!”

But, we once again return to the point in consideration – what is ‘that’ one thing that can make us feel strong and confident and say – “Yes , I can do it! Things will be perfectly fine once again! I have to regain my confidence!” Nothing and no one else can make us feel recharged and rejuvenated unless and until – ‘we’ – ourselves take it upon ourselves to feel so, say words to this effect repeatedly, and, see magic and miracles unravel before ourselves.

There is no disputing the fact that it is essential to read inspiring stories and know about inspirational personalities, in order to implement all that we learn from these – during sudden, unexpected developments in our life. ” हम अपने आप को प्रेरित रखने के लिए हर जगह देखते हैं… बस अपने भीतर नहीं देखते हैं…” Our biggest loss is our inability to see that it is nowhere else, but, in our mind that we win or lose…” अगर हमें कोई वास्तव में प्रेरित कर सकता है – तो वो सिर्फ हमारे अपने, खुद के विचार होते हैं…”

We need to understand that half the battle is won in our mind – and if we succeed in making up our mind and let positivity rule there – nothing remains ‘impossible’ from then onwards. But, rather than steadying and strengthening our mind with an iron resolve – we are more than happy to go to counsellors and therapists – completely forgetting that it is our ‘own’ thoughts – which can work wonders – in energising and galvanizing us.There is no doubt that medical or professional help could be needed in extreme cases – but , many a times, the cure can be found by us – as it is within ourselves. We just need to drown out all the external disturbing , distorting sounds that do not let us hear clearly the messages that our inner being tries to transmit to us. Once we fine tune – the message is as clear as crystal to us.

Can we relate with the elation and exhilaration of those of us who are successful in understanding that the greatest source of motivation – apart from God’s Grace and the ‘gyan’ imparted to us by a self – realised ‘guru’ – are our own thoughts ? Thoughts that encourage us and spur us – to have faith in ourselves and which lead us to believe that we are capable of doing anything and everything – irrespective of where life takes us. Why do we allow anyone else to play the role of a ‘motivator’ in our life – when we ourselves – each one of us – can be our own motivator ? Shouldn’t this privilege exclusively be ours?

Did Shri Ram bemoan His fate and curse His destiny on being exiled to the forest for fourteen long years ? Did He lose composure and seek motivation from an external source ? No. His thoughts – which were always pure and well – intentioned – detached themselves from the kingly duties that He was about to take over – to those of one who had been banished from His kingdom – with the same sense of readiness and acceptance. He saw no difference in living a life as a king – as desired by His father – or living a life in acute hardships , filled with challenges in the forest – as commanded by His stepmother. Is it possible for us to attain this level of equanimity – ever ?