Day: August 2, 2025

Swami ji said…

“मैं बताता हूं तुम्हें…” “तुम अगर मेरी बात मानो तो…” “मेरी सलाह यह है…” Let me tell you… “If you are willing to follow my advice…” It’s not uncommon to hear someone begin a sentence this way, only to launch into a long-winded monologue about how life should be lived or how one ought to behave — and this, many a time, when we might not even have sought their advice.

But it shouldn’t come as any surprise to us – to see many such ‘advisors’ who go around offering free advice. They urge others to stay calm, be strong, act professionally, and so on — pointing out exactly what they think the others are lacking or failing to do in any given situation.
And, more often than not, it is painfully obvious that what they are giving others is only ‘advice’ — mere words — which might never have been practised by them effectively. The one receiving it is usually left none the wiser, having merely traded time for empty words.

We are all guilty of behaving in this ‘holier-than-thou’ manner , nudging people into listening to the words of gospel that we are ready to offer them without charging a dime. “Could there be anyone better than us?” — we preen — much in love with our considerate selves and filled -with- concern for others personality. Some of us play this role very seriously and make it the purpose of our life…“जितना समय हम अपने जीवन का, दूसरों को, बिना मांगी हुई सलाह देने में बिता देते हैं — उतने समय में तो हम खुद की कमजोरियों को पीछे छोड़ देते…”

We love to sound like sages, delivering wisdom from a pedestal. We preach ideals we barely practise. And in doing so — despite quoting great men and speaking grand words — we merely add to the noise. For the truths we so freely offer, often lack the weight of experience or sincerity. In such moments, we are like a buttering knife, imagining ourselves to be swishing like a sword.

But why not be the change ourselves?
Wouldn’t that be the most genuine way to demonstrate our faith in our convictions?
If we truly believe that “Honesty is the best policy,” then let us first be fiercely honest in our own lives. Wouldn’t the result of living such a life serve as the most powerful example for others? Wouldn’t showing bravery in upholding the truth — even in the face of adversity — give others the courage to honour their own integrity?

How easily we tell others — “तुम डरते क्यों हो? चिंता की कोई बात ही नहीं…” — and this, when we could be shaking like a leaf merely at the thought of trouble heralding not too far away from our doorstep. We must value the words we say — all the more so when we are doling them out liberally in the form of advice. Let ‘them’ not be meaningless.
If we expect others to follow our guidelines and change — then what about a quick self-check to detect the positive changes that have come about in us by ‘advising’ ourselves?
“जिंदगी से इतनी शिकायत क्यों? तुम तो मज़े में हो…” — we express — without pausing to think about the number of times we complain about life, the problems that refuse to abate, and the struggle that life is.

A spiritual seeker must take upon himself the responsibility of working not only on the flaws and imperfections that he is aware are very much a part of him – but also bring about changes in himself that he would want to see in others. And above all to remember his ‘guru’s’ teachings – to never ever give unsolicited advice – but to do so only ‘when’ and ‘if’ someone asks for his advice.