Day: April 26, 2025

Swami ji said…

If you ever chart the course of a river, you will observe that it cuts through various terrains – sometimes rocky and mountainous, sometimes plain, sometimes marshy. At some places it flows fast with its banks reaching the horizon , while at other places it flows like a narrow stream; and at times, hidden from our view, it finds its wayunder the ground. Yet, it unfailingly flows on, never abandoning its true nature. We too, like a river, must never abandon our true nature, our inherent goodness.

Unfortunately, somewhere, in the constantly changing situation of everyday life – that elicit different emotions from us, we seem to lose all traces of the goodness that is an inherent part of us. At the first sign of anything unwanted and unwarranted – we take up a suit of armour. One of coldness and bitterness and anger. It only takes a few unkind words or actions by someone, and, our mood and day is ruined. We roam about bitter and resentful.

Don’t all of us understand rather well that we should not let others get under our skin? And, yet , this is where we perpetually fail ? Not once, but repeatedly.
It appears that how others behave with us is what controls our own behavior. We ponder and scrutinize whether they were polite, impolite or downright rude to us ? And if so – why were they so? At times, we are rattled and disturbed even by the way others look at us – even, if, it is for a fraction of a second. Our impulsive reaction is to somehow get back at them. We take a vow to payback everyone in the same coin. It is a pity to think how much precious time of ours is spent ruminating over how people have wronged us and how we shall extract our revenge. Be it at the workplace, in our own families, our friend groups or neighbors; we always find something wrong with how people have been behaving with us. And they end up occupying our thoughts more than anything else in the world. Our behavior, our actions, all become in line with feelings of revenge and bitterness.

The truth is, there always will be people who might not like us and could treat us in an undesirable manner. There always will be someone who will say or do something to hurt our feelings.There will always be someone who will not have our best interests at heart. Much like the mountains and rocks that try to impede a river’s flow ; the presence of such people in our lives – serves as a stumbling block in being our best selves. But, there is no avoiding such people. And, they will never cease to exist. But we must learn not to hate them and instead tell ourselves – ” Agar woh bure hai – toh tum bhi kyun bure bante ho…” Tum apni achchai kyun ek pal mein , gusse mein aane ke kaaran, kho dete ho? Apne andar ki achchai khone mein sabse zyaada nuksaan tumhara hi hoga…”

Just like the mountains and rocks that have been placed in a river’s course by God ; these people who we are irked by, too, are placed in our lives for a purpose – that only God understands. All we need to do is exercise some restraint and will-power and remind ourselves to refrain from indulging in the kind of behavior – that is disliked by us.The only ‘positive’ that we can take away from the presence of such ‘negative’ people in our lives – would be to learn to control ourselves from being uncouth and harsh to them – by reminding ourselves – “Why should we stoop to a level as low as theirs which will only take away our goodness?”

The spiritual seeker must imbibe this thought process. Every time something is said or done to him – that hurts him, his feelings ; he must ‘remember that’ – and ensure that he never does anything that could cause pain and grief to anyone else.That is how he will improve his own behavior. To keep calm and reassure himself while fighting the urge to react rudely and impulsively – that is what teaches the spiritual practitioner ‘control’. It teaches hin how the mind can be tamed, and, how one can regulate one’s emotional response with wisdom. He understands that rather than wasting time on drafting a tit – for – tat policy and address all ‘those’ – who had caused him mental stress with their bad behavior and horrible attitude – in a similar rude manner ; it would be better for him to forgive them, forget about them and instead focus on serving God and meditate on His name.