Day: April 5, 2025

Swami ji said…

We all are guilty of being narcissists – happy and content with our nature and temperament – finding nothing wrong with who we have become over the years. And so convinced are we of our own perfection that we are sure there is nothing that others will ever find or have to complain about us. To reinforce our misled conviction, we recall every compliment that was generously paid to us by all those who know us and are fond of us. We feel wonderful on being recognised and lauded, basking in the glory of praise and admiration. But, as has always been said – ‘Nothing in excess is good’ – and an excess of approval and applause by the people around us is quite undesirable – making us accustomed to receiving only appreciation and compliments in abundance ; but, we are disconcerted on being criticised for even the smallest of things. Criticism causes us great distress. We worry as to what could have gone wrong – for someone to have looked at us with an eagle eye and to point out our faults to us – one by one. Censure is not known to us – when it is we who are at the receiving end – “परंतु दूसरों की आलोचना करने में हम सबसे आगे खड़े रहते हैं…”

Do we have some kind of a double standard when it comes to our refusal in accepting any criticism that comes our way – as compared to the readiness with which we participate gleefully in coming down heavily on others…”हम खुद तो औरों की ‘आलोचना’ करने में माहिर हैं – लेकिन अपनी ‘आलोचना’ सुनने के लिए बिल्कुल तैयार नहीं हैं…” Much like a lioness that springs to her cub’s defence – we stand up to defend ourselves from the volley of hostile words that could come our way.

“हमे , ख़ुद मे , थोड़ा सा भी परिवर्तन लाने
मैं बहुत कठिनाई लगती है…” Why do we find it so challenging to ‘change’ ourselves – even when we know that ‘change’ is a universal truth ? We see it happen all around us. All the time – the ever ‘changing’ world. But , we withdraw completely – when someone tries to suggest a few improvements that we could make in ourselves. Why are we averse to criticism?

“We are above criticism” – we reassure ourselves. And critiques warrant no more than a scornful look – a reward to those for criticising us – we tell ourselves complacently.
How dare he condemn us? Why should we listen to him? Such are the counter questions that come to our mind.

Why do we have such a closed mind when it comes to hearing a few words that could potentially help us correct ourselves? Do we really believe that it is possible for us to have no imperfections? Doesn’t a flower need both – the Sun and the rain to grow and flourish ? In a manner much similar – we too need to remember that it would be best for us to accept both – compliments and criticism – to evolve in the best possible way. Rather than resisting the changes that honest criticism could bring about in us ; we feel it to be to be below our dignity to be rational and to hear what the other person has to say about us.

Often times, criticism comes from quarters most unexpected. It stings and even enrages us. But, we must have the self-control to try and observe what is said to us. We must try and understand why someone sees certain shortcomings in us. More often than not, these shortcomings are already known to us, but are overlooked by us due to the immense affection that we have for ourselves. In fact, if , we observe closely, it is criticism – which rings true in our ears – that agitates us the most. For it highlights that which we have subconsciously chosen to ignore and turn a blind eye to.
Instead of feeling slighted and angry, we must accept such criticism and begin to work on our deficiencies.
That is the only way we can grow and be happy with ourselves. For the one person we can never really fool – is ourself. Even if the world thinks of us to be great, we should never be satisfied with ourselves, if, we have not pushed ourselves to be the best version – that we can be of ourselves. And that means to accept criticism and use it as a guiding light to improve ourselves.

To be spiritually successful, humility is the only virtue that is needed. The humble have no ego that makes them stray from the path of God. The humble accept what they need to change and what they need to do to receive His blessings. They do not argue over what they can and cannot change about themselves.