Day: February 1, 2025

Swami ji said…

How do we feel when someone compliments us ; appreciates a particular trait or talent of ours ; praises us for something commendable that has been done by us or lauds us for a remarkable accomplishment ? We feel good. Don’t we ! Rather we feel great as a warm glow of happiness settles on us – on being singled out and recognised by others for a quality – that is unique to us and makes us distinctive from others. We don’t mind receiving and hearing those complimentary words again and again. In fact , we don’t tire of running them over and over again in our mind – and smile as we hug those well wishing, well meaning words.

But are we equally good , gracious and ‘giving’ while complimenting others ? Are we magnanimous and large – hearted while doing so or do words acknowledging
and honouring the distinctive characteristics of others – get lodged, stuck in our throat – as a tinge of jealousy and envy could make us think twice before complimenting them ? ” Do I really need to compliment him ? ” ” Does he really deserve the praiseworthy words that I’m about to say to him?” – are the doubts that come to our mind unnecessarily. If we can receive compliments happily – why can’t we compliment others with a happy heart and an open mind ?” कितनी बार ऐसा होता है की हम चिढ़ जाते हैं जब कोई, किसी और की तारीफ़ हमारे सामने करते है…” and small – hearted that we are – we immediately try to draw that person’s attention away from his ‘attributes’ – by instead urgently highlighting the ‘drawbacks’ that ‘we’ find in ‘that’ person. We are willing to try every trick in the book to stop that person from being complimented. Have we ever tried to understand as to what is it – “जो हमें किसी की तारीफ़ करने या सुन ने से रोकता है… हम दूसरे की उपलब्धि पे, उनकी प्रगति पे, अच्छे कार्य करने के
लिए, किसी की सुंदरता पे – ‘वाह’ बोलने में, ‘दो अच्छे’ शब्द बोलने मैं इतना कतराते क्यों हैं ?

Is it that the stress , negativity and doubt that we find ourselves submerged in – has made us forget that words used by us to compliment others – ” वाह! क्या बात! Outstanding ! Well done ! Exceptional ! “- are the most beautiful words – as we not only win over others – with our positive words ; make them experience joy – but also encourage them to continue the good work ; boost their morale further which is already high ; make them feel their effort is worth it – as it is rewarded with recognition in the form of compliments ?
At the same time – when we give others compliments –
our ego which otherwise always has a problem in acknowledging the merits of others ; which refuses to see good in others – also begins to relent. It starts appreciating – all that is to be
appreciated in others and finally agrees to bend ; to
give in and honour the good in others. “हमारा अहंकार भी झुकना सीखता है…”

If we are honest with ourselves – we shouldn’t have great difficulty in admitting that it hurt us greatly when our teachers would praise the toppers in the class and shower compliments on them. We would find it difficult to swallow the laurels that the teachers would pamper them with and we would turn our faces away “चिढ़ के ” – and maybe , we would ‘try’ to find the right words to compliment them with a heavy heart. And this habit of ‘refraining’ from making the other person happy by saying a good word here and there, maybe, continued to grow further in some of us – even as we grew up. We seem to forget that the pleasure and delight that an unexpected compliment brings to a person’s face can be a visual treat for us – and that person too remembers us for the good words said to them and speaks of our graciousness to others. Can we really lose anything by doing so ? Will the sheen from our achievements and accomplishments wear off if we were to applaud others for theirs ? But at the same time – if any of us are lucky enough to receive more than our share of compliments- we must ensure that we don’t let them go to our head and begin to think that we are better than the rest and develop a condescending attitude towards others.

A spiritual seeker should not let words of appreciation and praise from his ‘gurudev’ – about his unwavering devotion to God and commendable progress on the spiritual path affect him to such an extent that he starts assuming that he has attained his final goal ; can afford to sit pretty in the coming days and True Knowledge will come his way on its own. In fact , his ‘gurudev’s’ words of encouragement should motivate him to further intensify his efforts in his pursuit of ‘self – realisation’. At the same time , he should not let any pangs of jealousy consume his being on seeing his ‘gurudev’ compliment another devotee on his spiritual growth – as he needs to know that a ‘saccha sant’ looks at all His devotees without fear or favour – and treats them in an equal and fair manner.