Swami ji said…
How do most of us react when we hear that someone has said something adverse about us ; against us ; harbours ill – will against us ? Our reaction is immediate and instantaneous. Isn’t it ? We are angry and irked. We furiously ask the other person – who felt that it was his sacred duty to report first hand to us – who that ‘someone’ is, who has said something about us behind our back – without thinking for a second about the consequences that could arise from the seeds of doubt that they are able to plant in our mind – by doing so. The possibility that all that is being whispered into our ears by them needs to be cross checked by us – is silently rejected by us – as the treacherous mind finds favour in letting a ‘misunderstanding’ – ‘ एक गलतफहमी ‘ – take shape in our mind.
And , from that moment onwards – we promise ourselves – ” I’m not going to talk to him from today onwards…” ” I don’t ever want to see him again …” and, if, we opt for a direct confrontation with a mind filled with anger – it could find us in an extremely bitter and tasteless situation – as it would make us stoop down to very low levels – the kind which we had never thought of indulging in, and , would instead make us feel ashamed later – on thinking that we could have behaved in a manner so unbecoming of us.
Words have great power and, thus,
all that we hear ; whatever we hear – that has been said by whosoever – is literally lapped up by our ears – and we, maybe, take them more seriously than God’s words. We take this ‘hearsay’ personally ; as a personal attack – so much so – that the slightest possibility of not blindly believing the words – that have been ‘narrated’ to us ; and instead approach the matter with a calm , and , not an agitated mind – just does not strike us. It is because of a simple reason – ” ‘गलतफहमी’ जब एक बार हमारे दिमाग़ मे बस जाती है तब वह हमे सच ‘देखने’ नहीं देती …”
Wouldn’t it be better – if we were to give a serious thought to all that has been projected before us ; give a logical thought to the fact – whether the person named – could say something of that nature about us and above all get down to knowing whether it is true or fabricated ? Or is it a story that has been made by some trouble – makers to cause mischief between us and others – just because they are not happy at seeing trust and happiness thrive between us ? We must give a fair chance to the person who we by now have begun to abhor – and hear him out – before taking some drastic action against him. Wouldn’t it be better on our part to verify the truth of the matter from the so called ‘ culprit’ ? To question him directly and get a straight answer from him would would be the best , wouldn’t it ? ” Did you say words to this effect about me ? – and then hear his answer.
Years of trust , understanding and friendship are lost within a matter of seconds and for what purpose ! For a misunderstanding that has come out of nowhere – and to add to the problem – even, if , we were to suppose, in the hindsight , that maybe what we’ve heard about ourselves – could be true to a certain extent – the false sense of pride and arrogance that we have – will not let us hear and accept anything bad about us – even if it were to be true … ” हमारा ‘अहंकार’ हमे कभी भी सच ‘सुनने’ नहीं देता है…”
Our ego is like an impenetrable wall – that will not lay down its defences – at any cost. Even, if , it comes to harming and destroying relationships for ever between us, our friends and relatives. Friends turn into foes. Spouses separate. Business partners part ways. Siblings cut off relationships. All because – our ego tells us not to give in ; to take the initiative to clear the air. Our ‘ego’ – has such great control over us that it prevents us from taking the first sensible step and talk about the ‘hearsay’ – misunderstanding , directly – with the person concerned. Wouldn’t an attitude of this kind be more dignified and result – oriented rather than behaving in an inhumanly manner and resorting to other foolish methods to feel victorious and superior ? We need to remember -” हमारा ‘अहंकार’ और एक ‘गलतफहमी’ काफ़ी होती है हमे अपनों से जुदा, अलग करने के लिए…”
Dedicated to Swamiji Ajay Jain ji 