Swamiji says…
“All of us make mistakes. We err and go wrong! It is normal to do so. How else would we have, otherwise, known the difference between right and wrong; checked and improved ourselves! We learn from every single mistake that we commit during the various stages of our life. The acceptance of the fact that we’ve made a mistake, leaves behind with us a lesson, which should serve as a constant reminder and prevent us from repeating the same mistake over and over again! But do we do so? Do we admit, accept and apologise for our mistakes? Some of us might do so, but a few of us are very comfortable with the habit of neither admitting nor accepting … ‘ Kaafi log apni galti ko maan ne ke liye tayyar hi nahi ho teh hain ! Sweekar karne ki baat toh bahut dur ki hai !’
“What makes us remain foolishly adamant in not accepting the fact that we have made a mistake is known only to us! Do we do so, as we lack the needed courage to admit our mistakes and save ourselves from embarrassment at that particular moment, and, rather prefer to behave in an atrocious, childlike manner that could later make us feel ashamed of ourselves? ‘Sabse achcha hota hai ki joh galti hum se hui hai, ussey hum sudharein ! Bahut baar hum yeh sochte hain ki, jab galti ho hi gayee hai toh, uss ke baare mein kya sochna … Kis se kya maafi maangey?’ “
“We believe that there is no point in thinking much about the issue and regretting over it, as the mistake has already been made and nothing can be done about it now. It is here that our approach is wrong. Why do we turn a blind eye to our mistakes even when we realize that we are at fault and not immediately express our regret for having erred and close the matter there and then ? Why don’t we get connected with God or ‘Guru’ and appeal for His Grace to give us the foresight to desist from making such mistakes repeatedly and to check us if we do so? Why can’t we say – ‘ Hum se galti ho gayee aapko galat samajh kar jis ki wajah se hum ne aapko bekaar mein bura-bhala keh diya ! Agyaanta mein hum se yeh galti ho gayi thi, aur iss ke liye aap humey maaf kar dijiye!’
“Instead of doing this we indulge in immature behaviour which is a far cry from the maturity that can be exhibited by us in accepting the mistake that has been made by us. Denial is the best form of defence and thus we try to concoct the weirdest excuse possible; latch on to hundred improbable reasons to reinforce on others that – ‘I was not in the wrong!’ – but, the battle that is waged between us and our conscience; that niggling thought that prods us repeatedly and reminds us – ‘You know that you have hurt that person with your words, actions and behaviour!’ and this makes it difficult for us to look away from the truth. Our unwillingness to accept the wrong, the misdeed that had been done by us doesn’t free us from our guilt of having indulged in a wrongful act and that in itself should be looked upon us as a kind of punishment, but do we change ourselves for the better ?”
“What is it that makes it so difficult for us to say sorry; to acknowledge and accept that we had made a mistake? Why do words expressing an apology get lodged in our throat and we feel wrought up in lending them a voice? The stiff resistance put up by us in saying the simple words, ‘ I’m sorry! I know I made a mistake! I shouldn’t have done that or said that!’ – even when we know that we were at fault, are clear indicators of an inflated ego; a rigid, inflexible mindset; a state of non-compliance in which we have burrowed ourselves and feel certain that we can do no wrong; and cannot make a mistake! Mistakes and me? No way! ‘Making mistakes is not my domain’ – are words that we keep repeating to ourselves.”
” Mistakes as varied as speaking an untruth and lying, as a child, to save one’s skin; or stealing money during adolescence for expenses we did not want our elders to be aware of; or being intolerant and aggressive in relationships – personal or professional in adulthood – are made by us , all the time ! The audacity with which we keep on asking the question – ‘Why make such a big issue over my mistakes? So what if my behaviour has hurt a person?’ shows our unconcerned attitude. Blinded with rage and frustration at defending our mistakes, we completely forget about the turbulence that could be caused within those individuals who bear the brunt of our malicious words, hurtful actions and are subjected to our lapses ; our arrogance, ill-treatment or vehement criticism for no fault of theirs ! Ageing parents are mostly at the receiving end of our hostile behaviour. And, we still have the gumption to say that we have done no wrong.Do we ever try to assess ourselves impartially, and understand clearly, as to who really is at fault ?”
“Acceptance and admission of one’s mistakes can be liberating and uplifting, as the weight of guilt that had been weighing us down is removed from our mind and soul forever ! But for that one needs strength ; not physical, but moral strength. What would you like to be ? Weak or strong? ‘Galti har kisi se hoti hai, par baddappan apni galti ko sweekar karne mein hota hai !”