‘Vachan – badh mat ho…’

Swamiji says …

“The popular adage – ‘Promises are meant to be broken…’ has, quite remarkably, never been taken literally by most of us – the reason being our ablility to relate with the worth, true weight and responsibility of the words – ‘ I promise …’ from the moment we utter them. The thought of not valuing the said words, does not rise within us, as the ring of sincerity and commitment in them, is not lost on the person or people, to whom we make a promise – but rather, is clearly audible to them, as we give them the lifeline needed to tread from insecure hope to definite attainment.”

“But I had promised! How can I break my promise? I cannot let down that person!’ Our voice reflects genuine pain and sadness at our inability to cover the wide distance between making – and fulfilling a promise. We present a picture of utter despair and misery on sensing the possibility of not being able to live up to the words of promise that had been said by us, and we most certainly do not want to feel that we have been dishonest with others…’ Kyunki hum yeh sochte hain ki vachan ko poora na karna, jhooth maana jayega aur hum paap kar rahey hain !’ Many a copious tears have been shed…heart wrenching sobs have racked our body…while growing up – as we felt disconsolate, restless and helpless on facing the possibility of breaking a promise. The thought of not keeping a promise, of being unable to fulfil a verbal commitment – would make us feel as guilty as a criminal, and we would be certain that the world of friendship and faith that we had created would come crashing down on us – at our inability to live up to the expectations and trust that our friends, siblings and others had reposed in us, from the minute we had given them the much needed assurance, to stand by them and help them in accomplishing their task, or meeting their need or requirement.”

” Promises have a strange trait. They bind us; make us feel duty – bound, accountable and answerable from that very moment in time, when we make a promise.
Some people, in fact, are fiercely passionate about the promises that are made by them.They safeguard their promise as their honour, and it appears as though their words are cast in stone. Breaking a promise is considered to be a sign of weakness and an act – unpardonable by them.”

“At times, we make a promise, at the spur of the moment. Our reaction is spontaneous. We don’t pause to think about the curve, that the graph of our promise could take. A promise should be made to a person who understands the worth of our commitment to him. An appealing face, a helpless hand or a noble cause – draws an emotional response from us that makes us want to reach out, assist, help – and before we realize it , we end up giving them our word…make a promise ; shrugging off the gentle reminders that question us … ‘Should you be making such a promise? Are you capable of fulfilling such a promise?’ But the great rush that we are in while doing so, do we forget to pay attention to the finer details ? Do we happen to overlook the specific nature, purpose for which we had willingly extended our hand , in an emotional moment – filled with promise and hope – towards the other person?”

“Believe me, we are in no way bound by the promise … the words that had been said by us …if we see things shaping out in a way completely against our wishes, belief and trust ! There is no need for us to develop an emotional attachment with the promises that we make, but, it would be in the best interest of all if we were pragmatic, alert and aware while making promises.’

” ‘Kai log vachan badh ho jaate hain …vachan de baithtey hain! ‘ Very often we get carried away and make a promise – ‘Vachan, ya pratigya le letey hain’ – but it is here that we need to draw a line of caution, and analyse about the crop of fruits that our promise would yield – whether they were edible or rotten! What if, the person that we have promised to help…’Agar woh galat kar raha hai , toh aisa toh nahi ki tum vachan-badh ho gaye ?’ Would we want to see the net result of our promise culminate in the most unexpected, ugly shocking manner? The moment we experience a sense of foreboding ; a premonition of something not being right in the outcome of the promise given by us, or in the intent of the person to whom we have made a promise… ‘Jiski madad karne ki hum ne pratigya ya vachan liya tha, humey tabhi uss vachan ko todh dena chahiye…uska saath nahi dena chahiye !’ We should not allow confusion of any kind to cloud our thought process during such moments of dilemma, but make it very clear to the person concerned, that we will neither support nor side with him, if he plans to indulge in acts of dishonesty or treachery. ‘ Hum me sey koi bhi adharm, ya kisi bhi galat tarah ke kaam mein kisi aur ka saath nahi dena chahega !’

“Thus, when we break a promise ; take back the words that had earlier been placed in the loving care of the other person – as we later feel, that the promise made by us had been misinterpreted, and could be misused …’woh paap nahi mana jayega …kyonki humein adharma ka saath kabhi bhi nahi dena chahiye !’